Author Archives: cyiengi

Singly single…

Singly single…

Sometimes it sucks! Being single again. Looking for whom to hang out with. Finding a new crowd and fitting in. Some are too old for my nocturnal activities. Selectively picking topics of discussion, so no one gets offended when exes start getting bashed. Picking and dropping the kids off to those exes for visits. Avoiding eye contact when the new man with me meets the ‘old’ man who I left. “Ever get the feeling you are settling?” my-ride-or-die chick friend, enquires. “Who, me? After the nit-picking I’ve been through? Why would I? It has had… Continue reading →

My relationship with my father (part 1)

My relationship with my father (part 1)

Our father-daughter relationship is an eternal bond. This will make or break her future escapades. I can still hear his cultured, controlled voice speaking of all things Art, Music, Architecture, Cuisine…and Fashion. That’s how well rounded his knowledge base was. He seemed to know everything there was to know about these artistic expressions. Little girls just have this thing, unspoken, between them and their daddies. He knows her. He understands her. When she is moody or twisting him round her little finger, more often than not, she tends to get her way. Hahaha. It’s a… Continue reading →

Past-times at a city hotel

Past-times at a city hotel

Today I found myself smiling at a young lady over at the reception of a hotel. Trying ever so hard to hook up with new guests checking in. And from her efforts, you could tell she was specifically intent on the ‘white, mzungu chaps’. She quietly admitted to her fellow receptionist that she knew they had to have the ‘mullaz’ – (money) to help her take care of her lifestyle. After all, she wanted the finer things in life! I don’t know how she thought she would succeed. Looking at their appearances. Pooh-ing this one… Continue reading →

Who are you? Really

Who are you? Really

This is who I’ve become. An introspective adult. Sometimes I hide behind a facade. I’m happy. No, am sad. Wait, could I be both? Who and what defines me? My work, love life, career, children, background, friends, financial success? I found myself asking this question in my late thirties because there is so much changing and ‘morphing’ we put ourselves through…sometimes to fit in. Sometimes from love, fear or retaliation. But whom are we loving or hating on? What is it about me that I simply accept and just love? Why must I hate any… Continue reading →

Scary changes

Scary changes

New phases in life are…scary…interesting…exciting. It all depends on where you are coming from. Hannah, my dear friend, is just starting a new-ish phase in many ways and wonders sometimes if she will hack it. Separated, new job, new town, a kid on the way…she collapses in a heap on my shoulder. “Why don’t they stay? Why do I keep looking for love in intimate entanglements that get me nowhere? How will I feed this young ‘un with no ‘second hand’ to feed him/her?” she wailed, dramatically. She has been posted to Kakamega to open a… Continue reading →

Curve balls in relationships

Curve balls in relationships

I thought I’d heard it all! This lady at the party was loudly bragging about her lover (another woman), because she realized that men weren’t ‘all that’! She claimed to have made the drastic change because women ‘get’ one another, with no explanations. “Women are expressive, not hard, like men. If am emotional, she doesn’t keep harassing me to style up and swallow it. She gets my bad days. She reaches out when am moody”. Clearly, the drink had got the better of her. Not that the ‘highly praised’ companion was any better!!! The room… Continue reading →

*newsflash* Ladies, men are choosy too

*newsflash* Ladies, men are choosy too

Wow…its been a while! I know, I know…no regular ‘work’ or ‘busyness’ excuses, children running riot underfoot, meetings in and out of town. Naah, your life’s too organized to ever really warrant explaining distance, long silences, unrelenting work schedule…right? Well, mine’s been hectic. Real hectic! Had to do my fair share of growing up..uh huh! And I found out that this multi-tasking thing, can sometimes take the FUN and excitement out of life. Juggling many balls can have a downside too. And more so for the organized, choleric types like myself. We don’t know how… Continue reading →

Men…women…rights and personal space

Men…women…rights and personal space

So…as Kenyans come to terms with women carrying on and marrying multiple husbands, the rest of us face each day with consistent energy and pace. Yes, it makes for an amusing piece of news…but imagine how that conversation went. Living with one and spending a number of decades trying to get the grasp of how his world spins, you can imagine how I marvelled at how these 2 women can keep a number of men pleased and content…those secrets would make many a bestseller. What makes a lady take on multiple lovers? How about those… Continue reading →

Overload!

Overload!

This first half of 2013 has had the most unprecedented events of any year I’ve witnessed…It seems everything has picked up an intensity all of its own. There are more suicides, bomb/grenade attacks, road accidents, striking workers, teen truancy, kidnappings, untimely deaths (mostly cancer related) – not to mention, the expectations of a nation that’s just come through a tumultuous election period. The soul can grow weary just from the constant bombardment. Emotional overload. One wants a break…so I go away..in my mind’s eye, even as I anticipate the actual physical ramifications of a tired,… Continue reading →

Life…and our reasons

Life…and our reasons

So I am musing about the reason for existence….and why we go all out to do the things we do. Is it for fame, fortune, friends, family? So, after you’ve accomplished all your goals and scaled all your mountains, what was the meaning of it all? I look at the little girls laughing, squealing as they chase each other around the compound. I follow the steps of a loving couple hand in hand, going for a stroll…I look into the sky, and let the wind fan my face, as I hear a swallow tweet swiftly… Continue reading →