Sometimes it sucks! Being single again. Looking for whom to hang out with. Finding a new crowd and fitting in. Some are too old for my nocturnal activities. Selectively picking topics of discussion, so no one gets offended when exes start getting bashed. Picking and dropping the kids off to those exes for visits. Avoiding eye contact when the new man with me meets the ‘old’ man who I left. “Ever get the feeling you are settling?” my-ride-or-die chick friend, enquires. “Who, me? After the nit-picking I’ve been through? Why would I? It has had… Continue reading →
Our father-daughter relationship is an eternal bond. This will make or break her future escapades. I can still hear his cultured, controlled voice speaking of all things Art, Music, Architecture, Cuisine…and Fashion. That’s how well rounded his knowledge base was. He seemed to know everything there was to know about these artistic expressions. Little girls just have this thing, unspoken, between them and their daddies. He knows her. He understands her. When she is moody or twisting him round her little finger, more often than not, she tends to get her way. Hahaha. It’s a… Continue reading →
Today I found myself smiling at a young lady over at the reception of a hotel. Trying ever so hard to hook up with new guests checking in. And from her efforts, you could tell she was specifically intent on the ‘white, mzungu chaps’. She quietly admitted to her fellow receptionist that she knew they had to have the ‘mullaz’ – (money) to help her take care of her lifestyle. After all, she wanted the finer things in life! I don’t know how she thought she would succeed. Looking at their appearances. Pooh-ing this one… Continue reading →
This past year was a miracle! A miracle in learning how to get over an ex…making new friends, learning that some of the ‘old’ ones were in it just for kicks, finding myself again…loving whom I’ve become/Am becoming. Being kind and gentle to myself. Finding new hobbies, hanging out in new places. Setting out to consciously conquer my hitherto hidden fears. Feeling the gut-wrenching moments when reality checks in, and letting myself feel every raw emotion; yet not getting swallowed up in the moment. Accepting what is, and moving it forward. My family and friends… Continue reading →
This is who I’ve become. An introspective adult. Sometimes I hide behind a facade. I’m happy. No, am sad. Wait, could I be both? Who and what defines me? My work, love life, career, children, background, friends, financial success? I found myself asking this question in my late thirties because there is so much changing and ‘morphing’ we put ourselves through…sometimes to fit in. Sometimes from love, fear or retaliation. But whom are we loving or hating on? What is it about me that I simply accept and just love? Why must I hate any… Continue reading →
New phases in life are…scary…interesting…exciting. It all depends on where you are coming from. Hannah, my dear friend, is just starting a new-ish phase in many ways and wonders sometimes if she will hack it. Separated, new job, new town, a kid on the way…she collapses in a heap on my shoulder. “Why don’t they stay? Why do I keep looking for love in intimate entanglements that get me nowhere? How will I feed this young ‘un with no ‘second hand’ to feed him/her?” she wailed, dramatically. She has been posted to Kakamega to open a… Continue reading →
You lie awake doing the math and everything adds up to wealth and fortune. After all, numbers don’t lie. Counting the numbers imagining what you could do with all that money. Love sure breaks hearts but businesses break even more hearts! Raised expectations followed by massive disappointments in many cases. Massive debts, unreliable people, disappointing numbers, tested passions and broken dreams. It helps to be positive but it saves a whole lot more to be realistic. In the calculations, do you account for the fact that not everything goes according to plan? There is a… Continue reading →
Everyone has their kryptonite. That one person that never fades into oblivion. They remain a constant in your ever-changing life. So many come and go in your life, most of whom have no effect on your life. This one person can ask for you back and you will drop everything for them. Irrational love, irrational attraction – a force to reckon with. Doesn’t know how to love you, how to treat you, but for some mad reason, all of you remains stuck in memories and images of you and them. You replay the good and… Continue reading →
I hate to admit it but I am sort of a know-it-all. Actually I am a know-it-all. I do not know the roots of this attitude exactly but I certainly know that it worked out terribly for me as a new mother. Instead of asking veteran mothers questions, I Googled and Googled. I read all the “How to” motherhood books I could lay my hands on and YouTubed “little” things like breastfeeding, changing baby diapers and washing baby. I remember a mummy friend suggesting to me to go for classes on motherhood at one of… Continue reading →
Thursday, 27th June 2014. A dreary day that had been made even drearier by the thought of sitting in a boardroom for a whole friggin day as different vendors walked in to pitch their Customer Relationship Software solutions. Have you ever listened to a proper Indian with a proper Indian accent do a two hour presentation? I listened to four. That’s 8 hours of not understanding half the stuff the presenters were saying. Let’s just say, for now I have postponed any trips to India, indefinitely. I had reached that ‘shoot-me-now’ point when the last… Continue reading →