Available guys have all the qualities that we find attractive, it’s just that we view things differently with minglers and takens.

Another key factor is that we don’t live with these guys. We see them for a few hours at a time, so we only see their good side. We don’t know that they are cranky in the morning, or that their feet smell, or that they grunt in their sleep, or that they whine constantly, or that they have a fetish for … whatever-embarrassing-thing-they-have-a-fetish-for. We only see the shine.

They, on the other hand, have been with their women long enough for the novelty to wear off. So while their women may not necessarily be unappreciative, they are not as wowed by his tendency to buy teddy bears as you are.

Another thing we forget is that the taken man is what he is because of his woman. It is her girlfriendship – wifehood – fathermaking that has turned him into who he is. His love for this woman has mellowed his bad side, brought out his instinct, made him soft and loveable. The features were there all along, but she has worked long and hard to find them, drag them out and polish them to a shine. So she deserves to enjoy them undisturbed by your roving eyes. Continue Reading »

Women are always complaining that all the good men are taken … or gay. And men are always complaining that girls always go for the bad boys. Apparently, guys are far less attractive when they are young and single and ready to mingle.

The lure of the bad boy, as I have said over and over and over, is basic. We want to tame him. To turn him into a good guy. To put him on a leash. To be the one girl powerful enough to crush this Samson and use his hair to make a purse strap. It’s a power thing, plain and simple.

The attraction of the spoken-for man is a little more complicated than that. And no, I don’t believe for one second that it’s ‘the lure of the unattainable’. That myth has about as much credence as the man on the moon. Humans do NOT want something just because they can’t have it. If that was the case, we’d all be wearing artificial tails. Continue Reading »