Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

I keep getting back to the mercies bestowed upon us by our Lord. I cannot tire of this. Looking at the sorrows and pains suffered by so many of my married sisters causes me to frequently relive this promise.

Mothers beloved the world over, have, do and will cry for their families, due to man’s own doing. Hence our comfort in these words of the Holy Book. Of course they are intended not just for single mothers…I know, I know.

This promise comes so true to me. I can so well testify to the tears, the sorrows, the mourning and pain of the old order of things. So many nights and days, I have wept silently, praying for a better life for myself and my three beloved. Things have, in times now seemingly so far gone, been hopelessly depressing. There was sickness and no money to reach for even the simplest relief, school and no money to go on tomorrow, food was scarce and we were hungry, Christmas was here and there was nothing to celebrate with… the list is unending. For once I dare say it wasn’t always or most often, that a man was the cause of my distress. Women too have caused me distress to a certain degree, and always it was worse than that caused by men. I can authoritatively say that, now that I am older and wiser. In these instances, I reached out to my God and he heard my cry. Always, without fail, God hears our cry and within His own time, he wipes away our every tear and makes good His above promise. We just do not always see it.

Bringing up children singly is frowned upon in our society. More so in some cultures more than in others. I remember once being asked by a friend, why I insisted on telling men I had children. Duh? It turns out that she -and many others to date- believed in buying time, love, affection and financial benefits in the guise of being young and without child- until the man were tied by her charms to the level of proposing. Then, I suppose, she would elect if to own up to the truth or tie him in another lie to prolong the benefits. I chose instead, to do my best to earn a living , to sacrifice my all, to give my children all that they would have had in a two parent home, and more. If they would lack, it would only be as much as any child in a two parent home could. My hard work and sacrifice paid off. Continue Reading »

I must say since my three loves were young, I have always been accused of smothering them with love. In my opinion, I just decided on this style of parenting. I loved my three and gave them the best I could. It really was not much, what with my constant joblessness in between job, separation from baby daddies, and other hardships courtesy lack of keen and proper guidance.

Still I prejudge myself as having done well and come out almost tops. If nothing else, my undying, uncompromised and non stop love, understanding, guidance and care and joy with and to my three loves, has shaped them well. My constant self sacrifice for their comfort and that of relatives close and distant has instilled in them a desire to have empathy, be God fearing and to the best of their ability, aspire to make the world a safer better when they can. Towards this, they have embraced -not always to my liking- total non-discriminatory virtues. They consider all people equal, and thus make friends bila ubaguzi (without allowing scruples of any kind to influence them).

Like I said, not always to my liking. Having and living with teenagers has been an eye opener to me. Now I understand how loving and merciful mothers can be, and why one’s mother is deemed as next in importance to one’s God. Teenagers are an extreme tester of nerves. Was I ever one? It is all very well to claim “in our days….blah blah fishcake…” This is not then. It becomes so tough, ever so tough, to be loving, caring or even understanding with this breed we are raising. Times have changed and so have their needs, likes and wants. We should have parenting tips given as refresher courses every other decade, to bring us up to date with what’s “hip” for teens. Just so we know. Continue Reading »

I woke up in a good mood today. I have been feeling so charged up since yesterday. Really charged. A project I had put my all into, came through a winner. So here I was yesterday, beaming with pleasure, hopes for a new love this Christmas forgotten, woes about the problems I have had with the kids this year not remembered again, and all my office annoyances seeming petty and inconsequential. I selected something to wear today, last night. Laid it out, and would have ironed it, if I had not been sooo… tired.

Early today, I left with Miss Daddy. She that doesn’t like to leave early, my daughter, was forced to be early to avoid the jam expected all over Nairobi. This, because of the various graduation ceremonies and their associated celebratory crowds- family, graduates, et al… So, unusual for us, we left together at 5:45 a.m. The ride was uneventful, and we spoke little. Not like when I am with Sonny. My elder son. We think alike. We notice all the suffering and poverty along the way. We show each other new developments no matter how little, and rejoice in them. One of us will tell the other any little tit bit about a place or person we bypass. I tell you, we are very good friends. There, I said it at last. Sony is like a girlfriend. A bosom buddy. Continue Reading »