Daisy is one insightful girl. It’s one of her most endearing qualities, and often times, her main source of headaches. How I forgot this little fact I still don’t know. Friday evenings would typically be either movie nights, game nights or a combination of both. It had always been an unfair arrangement since we would both retire at the wee hours of the morning yet I had to report to work on Saturdays, while she didn’t. I really didn’t mind it though.

For a whole week, I had been trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend, who was mad at me half the time, that another girl, who happened to be a million times prettier than her, had come to my house, used our(my) shower, dressed up in her clothes, including that red top that she had asked about at least thrice so far, and now wanted me to meet up with her the next week to catch up, you know, like old friends. There was no easy way in sight, but I was determined to find it.

Come Friday, and there were, cuddled on the Sofa watching a movie whose title escapes my memory. “Sweetie, I need to ask you something” she announced in the middle of some romantic scene. She never entertained interruptions while a movie was on, a habit that happens to be a major weakness of mine.

“Yeah, of course babe” My nerves warned me that this wasn’t good.

“Are you cheating on me?” I almost choked on the peanut in my mouth. Read the rest of this entry →

I love to read articles about understanding men, mostly from the home page on MSN. Every time I discover some delicious new fact about our Martians, I try it out on my better half. His response is always something like, ‘The trouble with women is that they take all their man-talk from other women.’

I always want to yell,  ‘Men don’t talk about their feelings, so we have to discover them through other women … or gay friends!’ And somehow I don’t think man advice from a gay pal counts for much, because their thought process is painfully close to mine.

Unless of course he’s a guy-gay, in which case he probably knows nothing about women.

When the movie first came out in 2003, I swore I wouldn’t watch it. My swearing didn’t have any particular motive. It wasn’t about being macho and resisting chick flicks, even though I had just watched that traumatising movie with Renée Zellwegger. I don’t remember what it’s called, but it had a lot of pink, and one scene had a simulated split screen lap dance dry humping thing … which some people found funny, but I found incredibly sad.

The real reason I avoided 10 days is because from what I could see in the preview, I was definitely a 10 days kind of girl, and nobody needs that kind of affirmation. Read the rest of this entry →

I’m not a big believer in internet dating, even though I’ve met a lot of loved ones that way. The whole concept just seems contrived and artificial. Though, for the record, I’m not big on offline dating agencies either.

It’s a bit different when you’re not going online specifically to find a mate. I found the love of my life on a website for writers, and what started out as an exchange of style and prose ended up in a beautiful relationship.

This story – the one I’m about to tell – started with a pretty girl looking for a dance partner. The reason she couldn’t find one offline is that she’s tall. Really, really tall. Naomi Campbell in spiked heels is a dwarf to her kind of tall.

The girl’s name is Keisha, and she’s 6 foot 5.

Keisha wanted to find someone to dance with for … whatever reason. The online stories don’t say. She went on a site for tall people, and a guy named Wilco responded to her question with ‘I’m 7 feet tall, is that enough?’

Years later, the couple are happily married with two beautiful [and  extremely tall] multicoloured babies. Read the rest of this entry →

So … a few milliseconds past the 35 year mark and I find myself back in the social experiment more popularly known as dating. Senora I won’t get into the Mexican style soap opera drama of how just yet but suffice to say he lied, he cheated and when all was said and done I won the kids and dogs.

Now I must be honest about this … I could take the knocks when I was younger, slimmer, blissfully ignorant and full of that youthful exuberance you pine for as they, the young bloods, drift by while you stuff your face at one of the lovely food courts in our malls.

My blind date number 1 was somewhat (significantly) younger than me. I had refused to be sucked into the pleas for a date and knew I’d crossed the line when I used the ‘courting’ word instead of ‘hanging out’. Branded difficult and unrealistic by my single, dateless, 35+ girlfriends they planned an intervention. Amidst tears, shrill screams, stiff drinks and ‘you go girl’ cheers I called him and we made plans to meet up for a drink. So ….I finally find the bar with the hip name and after a mind numbing two hours here are my three tips if you opt to walk the dating plank again. Read the rest of this entry →

We all have been heartbroken, it was my first time, the ache was too much, my heart was in ruins, it did not help that it was raining and I was getting late for an interview, Murphy’s Law was in total force. That is when I saw him, in black trousers, a red cap and a red t-shirt written, “Dig This?” He had a baby face, not too light, not too dark, curly hair and a swagger in his step. I dug him already.

He smiled as he walked toward me and in a moment I glanced behind, to make sure it was my smile. I did not return it though. He came to me, took my hand, I did not object, asked me where I was going, I did not answer, so he asked again, “tao msupa” (going to town beautiful?) I just nodded, there was something creeping from my hand to my heart. At the matatu, he opened the door for me and sat me in.

I was charmed, we all have our presumptions of how matatu conductors are complete jerks and unlearned, and this one was quite something. I immediately trashed those thoughts, I was after all in university and he was well just doing his job, he had to get people into the matatu.

As I watched him shout and call passengers, I started to see how handsome he was, not too tall, not huge, just my type. He came to talk to the driver and in the process asked if I was okay, I nodded. Read the rest of this entry →

Hi,
I have been dating this guy for four years and he has never shown me where he lives.We see each other during the weekend and most of the time he spends at my place.Whenever i bring up the issue of me knowing where he lives,he goes silent and tells me that he cant comment anything about that.This has really frustrated me because i feel like am pushing him too much.I also fear the risk of loosing him.What should i do?

Do i risk the relationship and squeeze the truth out of him or should i wait for him to show me his place at his own will.Could he be cheating or even a married man?

Stella

Much ado about nothing, you say? Well if Integrity isn’t that big a deal in society why do we vilify those caught cheating or playing the field? It seems to be the latest fad in the media whenever one’s word is doubted or someones hand is caught in the cookie jar…

Integrity will speak a lot for our Character. It speaks about our basic nature…our value system…the things we stand for (or won’t stand for). It is tied to Consistency (what you see is what you get). Do we keep your word? Are there areas in our lives we can honestly admit to weaknesses and shortcomings without a defense/excuse? Can people trust our response on a certain matter or do goal posts shift with us?

When we critically analyse our relationships with this as the yardstick, we are not surprised then that there is so much mistrust among us because no one seems credible. You meet someone and when they are well-mannered or hospitable, you look for the ‘catch‘: wondering when the shoe will fall, when they will catch you off guard and stab you in the back, or take your closely guarded secret and scream it from the rooftops. A close friend confides that she has found few who are consistent in their lives; so much scheming and underhandedness seems to be the order of the day. Our politicians say one thing today and join the next camp tomorrow for political mileage, some of our spiritual leaders ‘preach water and drink wine’, civil servants in public office whose mandate it is to be of service to the public are sometimes found AWOL during office hours when their service is so critical, ‘matatu’ conductors promise their passengers safe travel to their an eventual destination/s, only to drop them off unceremoniously halfway through the journey on a whim or because of making a quick buck! Read the rest of this entry →

Yesterday I came across an interesting article titled Why girls should date Computer Wizards and Geeks. The author gives the following advice to ladies:

Instead of trying out relationships with a guy who is unpredictable and who may end up hurting them, girls can save themselves a lot of trouble by dating geeks and computer wizards. This guys are perfect, almost godly perfect for a relationship that one may think they are dating cupid himself.

According to the author some the pros of dating a geeks are as follows:

• They are not players
• They are very knowledgeable, and especially so when it comes to matters pertaining sex
• They are mostly indoors so they wont leave you to go hang out with their friends
• They never forget important dates and anniversaries

You can read the rest of the article here. What do you think, are ladies better off dating computer geeks? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Goodness we need to teach the men in this country how to prioritize. I watched a couple a few weeks back coming from a parking lot in the city. Remember that Parking in Nairobi cots a bundle, only the first hour is free in most places. This fact will be important at the end of the story.

It is also very important for me to point out that this couple is under the age of 23. Probably a college guy with mom’s car taking his girlfriend out to lunch on the Thursday right before Easter so he has absolutely no fuel costs.

I was walking behind this couple on the street behind World Business Centre-the blue building on Tom Mboya St next to Bata opposite Latema Rd. So anyway, this only struck me when they got inside the Kenchic that is at the end of that road connecting Tom Mboya Street with Moi Avenue. I am not a stalker first of all I don’t follow random people around town just because… I was just led into a train of thought by the activities of this couple for the five or so minutes I was walking behind them.

I probably need to begin with the fact that, as my best friend likes to put it, I am a high class girl living in the wrong side of town. I would rather be at the Teaspot paying Ksh. 100 for my fries when I can only spend Ksh. 100 on my lunch than go to a Kenchic and have fries and a chicken sausage which will cost me the same Ksh 100. And I happen to have internal reviews of the places I would like to be caught in and the ones I would not like to be heaved in if I fainted right outside and the only reason I am inside the joint is because I am unconscious. Read the rest of this entry →

A phenomenon that I have always heard about recently came knocking at my door. I never used to believe the “rumors” that guys go to church to look for nice Christian girls to marry or date or whatever, well, that was until it happened to me.

See, I am your average church girl. I grew up in church, I go to church, I am involved in church, I talk about church…really, I am a church girl.

This is not necessarily a good thing, according to some. Family members and random acquaintances used to warn me…as much as you go to church, watch out for those church men.

Huh?

Why?

I have never dated one and the guys I have dated or “dated” have never been church guys. And granted, they were nothing to write home about, many hurt me and with many I found out we had nothing in common and nothing worth building a future on, after all the pixie dust and starry eyes had worn off and grown dim.

So what could be worse, church guys? I think not!

Anyway, so I met a church guy. Boy, was I excited! Finally I get to meet someone who speaks my language!

NOT! Read the rest of this entry →