We attract who we ARE not who we WANT.

This has been one of my guiding phrases. I love it because it focuses the conundrum of love on you and not ‘those others’. Here’s the thought process: all your partners – former and current – have only one thing in common: you! You are the common denominator so if you are always attracting or attracted to a particular kind of person, then it’s up to you to explore if there is something in you that is similar to those characteristics that always appear in your love life.

I wouldn’t say that love is something you go out to find but I do think you must be ready for it; your heart needs to be fertile enough to receive it when and/if it shows up. That can’t happen if conditions are only perfect for the wrong kind of people; those who neglect, abuse, ignore, insult or take you for granted. If you’re needy, pushy, closed-off, bossy, boring….whatever it is, you need to know it. It’s not the end of the world if you’re those things, but my policy is “it’s best to know”.

Furthermore, if you keep doing the same thing when it comes to love, then it stands to reason that you’ll keep getting the same results. Now is as good a time as any to try something different. Tweak something, change something and see if that changes your love patterns.

Now that the hullabaloo surrounding Valentine’s Day is past, I hope you will take the time to assess your love life. Think of it as taking your car (heart) for maintenance before a long road trip (your love life). There’s nothing to be ashamed or judgmental about and who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised. You may find that you’re always attracted to smart intelligent partners because you are a smart, intelligent person. You may also find gems of information, for example you’re attracted to unavailable partners because you yourself have an entire security system, complete with guard dogs, around your heart. While this may not feel like a gem, it actually is since it points you to a specific aspect of who are and gives you the opportunity to change it, or not.

I look forward to hearing from you. I truly hope you had a fantastic Valentines day but I hope even more, that the future of your love life is much more fantastic than just one day.

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I am writing this letter regarding the matter of Kenya’s 6 most wanted criminals by the ICC. I would love to say that I’m writing on behalf of all Kenyans but alas, I wouldn’t want to presume. I feel that a letter is necessary because things seem to be getting worse and not better. I was concerned when I saw the 6 alleged murderers and rapists working very hard to avoid prosecution. I was concerned, but not enough to write to you. However, many weeks after your announcement, I am positively worried and losing sleep about it. I am worried sick that your once strong resolve to prosecute these alleged criminals to the fullest extent of international law – in accordance with the treaty that Kenya willingly signed – is weakening.

Sir, Kenyans have endured decades of impunity. Did you know, for example, that our first president was in power for over to two decades? There are those that call him a dictator while others loved him. What cannot be denied is that he put this country through what we colloquially term as “hell”. I remember the fight for a multi-party system and the fear it instilled in me as a little girl. All of this to say, Kenyans have unfortunately grown accustomed to impunity. I have become accustomed to it, for better or worse.

That being said, this has simply gone too far! The Kenyan government has spent – and is planning to spend – obscene amounts of money to push their agenda against the ICC and in the defense of some of the accused. This, despite the fact that the ICC offers legal counsel to the accused at no cost to them. The government is using the country’s coffers to defend people who are accused of some of the worst crimes against humanity while their victims languish endlessly in IDP camps. In essence, the Kenyan government is using tax payer funds to pay for the defense of people accused of crimes against those very tax payers! It’s immoral, unfair, insulting, unjust and unethical, but they don’t care.

Dear Mr. Ocampo, please don’t abandon us. If you hear nothing else I just said, hear this: we NEED you. We need someone to stand up for us; someone who cannot be victimized by the local police or anyone else in the country for that matter; someone who cannot be bought. We need someone who isn’t easily swayed by politics. We need someone to remind our “leaders” and citizens that integrity matters; that we, as citizens, matter. Sir, please push through with the process; do not be swayed by pressure from this or any other government. Do not let their whining get to you, do not let their cries of unfairness sway you to their side. Do not allow them to use you to get away with these crimes, if found guilty.

However, if you do feel yourself swayed by their arguments – because you are human after all – take a good long look at the victims of these crimes. Let their horror stories of rape, hunger, tears, insecurity, death, abandonment and fear move you to standing your ground. Let the Kenyan governments own decision to have the ICC pursue these cases remind you that you are within your mandate. Let the everyday, hard working Kenyan inspire you forward, for hard work and innovation will mean nothing should the country fall back into chaos. Keep in mind that Kenya is facing another presidential election next year. If they get away with this now, we will never know peace because it will be clear that there will be no consequences for such brutal acts. Finally, remember too that should you allow them to wiggle their way out of this situation, they will be taking your credibility down with them. They will, in essence, be announcing that you too are for sale. That cannot be!

The accused are simply that: accused. Whether or not they’re guilty is for the ICC to decide; do your due diligence and let their attorneys do theirs and then may the chips fall where they may.

Dear Mr. Ocampo, Kenyans need to be reassured that the ICC can and does stand for justice for all; we need to see a justice system that actually works. I realize that I had not intended to speak on behalf of Kenyans, but it turns out that I did, for better or worse.

Sir, please do not abandon us.

Sincerely,

Mia

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One resolution was to stop using the word “F*#k” in all its variations. Permanently. Two weeks into the year and I can report that my success rate has been about 20% (although if I had a curse bank it’d be a bit lower, I think). It’s not that I curse like a sailor, it’s just that I use the word whenever I feel like it. Remember the goal was to stop completely! Yeah, let’s just say it’s a work in progress

Another resolution was to work on my social life. In a nutshell, I want to go out more and do more things since I’ve become quite the home body. Success rate on this one is about 50%; I have gone out more, I have made more of an effort toward making actual changes but I can’t say I’m completely satisfied with progress here. I left most of my friends in one country and I honestly don’t feel too motivated to find new friends because let’s face it, the older you get the fewer quality new friends you tend to have (or maybe that’s just me). Enough about me though. Tell me about you; your new year so far, any resolutions, progress…whatever you wanna share, it’s all good.

ION….

I’m watching the video [below] of the Kenyan cop who got busted – literally – by a truck driver. Question: is it terrible that I ‘get’ why the truck driver thumped him? I mean, listen, I don’t advocate for violence as a first line of defense but I do get why someone who felt (I think) bullied and powerless would lash out at his bully. We can decry his actions as much as we want and point to the law courts as the great equalizer where every Kenyan can receive justice. However, can we at least take off our rose colored lenses and also admit that in Kenya, so-called justice is for the rich while laws and restrictions are for the poor? I don’t think anyone – let alone a police officer – should be allowed to reserve his right to collect bribes, harass and/or bully the very people he should protect. I hate to suggest it but if the culture of impunity is not addressed then we can expect to see more of these incidents. Bribes are not a right!

Well, here’s to a wonderful, violence-free week!

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Jane & Steve were actually doing better than usual. They had even made plans to go someplace that very week. It wasn’t a date and it wasn’t anything romantic but it was important to Jane and Steve agreed to take her. Steve didn’t come through for Jane within the agreed-upon time frame. However, one day he called and asked her to come over to his job because he’d found someone to fill in for him briefly while they were gone. His friend never showed up so Steve couldn’t leave. Instead, Jane spent the time hanging out with him and his friends at his job (his job is very laid back. In fact, his friends don’t work there they just come to hang out with him there).

While there, Jane seemed comfortable as did Steve; he usually seemed a bit worried or tense if Jane hang around him at work in front of his friends; an image thing I guess. Somewhere in those late afternoon hours, things got weird for Jane but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what was bugging her. It seems to this observer that it was more of a cumulative effect than anything specific. Here’s what I mean:

1. Jane got to Steve’s job past 4pm that afternoon. By the time she got there she was hungry and apparently, while they were chilling out, she made one of those “I’m starving…I haven’t eaten all day today” comments. Steve’s response? Silence. Nothing. Nada. Keep in mind they have a soda-fridge at his job. He didn’t even offer her a drink, which would’ve cost him 25bob! After a while, she went and got a snack and brought back enough for them both, which he gladly enjoyed.

I was curious (and furious) about this one. I mean, he called her and she spent her time and money to go and see him and he doesn’t even offer her a drink or food? A soda is 25bob. Chips is 50bob for goodness sakes! Isn’t it African culture to offer a guest something to eat or drink anyway?

Gentlemen, when you like a girl shouldn’t this part be obvious or am I missing something? Talk to me people

2. At a later point, he ordered a fresh juice and offered her one but Jane declined since she already had a drink. When the juice attendant stopped by later and asked if she was ready for her drink, she answered in the affirmative. Steve’s response? He apparently didn’t seem pleased, even though he had offered to get her the juice at the same time he got his. *sigh* “he’s an idiot”, is my opinion.

3. Later still, Steve got a bit arrogant, for example, he made comments about another woman’s butt and boobs in the presence of Jane! His reasoning? “We’re guys. That’s what we do”. In his defense (and I’m desperately looking for a silver lining here), he apparently preferred Jane’s boobs to the other girl’s. Still, it was weird for her that he would behave like that. Later when she asked him if her top was too revealing (because her boobs are for his eyes only, I presume), he said the top was fine and anyway it was ok if his friends saw a little coz it would make them jealous and wish she was theirs and not his!

Hmmmm….I’m not a guy so I won’t guess why on earth he would say any of this. Maybe my male readers would care to enlighten us girls?

To cut this long sordid tale short(er), that night Jane had a nagging question which she couldn’t answer: “what has he added to your life in the two months you’ve known him?”

A few days later, she broke up with him. Via text message!

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Boy meets girl or in this case, boy’s clumsiness brings him smack dab into the eye view of girl. Long story short, boy asks for girl’s number and a fun adventure begins. Except that boy wasn’t exactly looking for a girl and neither was girl looking for a boy. For purposes of this hypothetical situation, let’s call girl Jane and boy Steve.

So, Steve realizes that as much as he likes Jane, he’s not ready for a relationship. Apparently, he’s spent the last one year prior to Jane’s arrival hating women, courtesy of one who did him wrong. Then there’s Jane, who also wasn’t exactly looking for a relationship but her thing is, ‘he’s here so check him out and see if he’s worth the effort’. Roughly two months into this “thing” and things are at a standstill. A casual observer might say that they both feel they’re giving more than they initially intended or were willing to give, yet neither feels particularly satisfied. The same observer might say that Jane’s efforts toward Steve seem to be appreciated by Steve and they do seem to make a positive impact.

However, Jane feels that Steve’s efforts aren’t exactly meeting her needs. An example would be time: Jane wants face time with Steve. She needs to feel that she matters enough to Steve that he would make an effort towards her by asking for her time especially since she has proven time and time again that she is not after his money (and there isn’t much of it. He doesn’t have a job so much as he has a kibarua).

Steve on the other hand seems to feel like he’s happy with Jane’s input and he’s already putting in a lot of time to spend with her. On the phone! To be clear, Jane consistently states she wants face-time while Steve doggedly offers phone time. Typical male brain at work or a clear message that Jane should heed? Let me also state for the record that every single meeting they’ve had has been due to Jane being in Steve’s neighborhood for one reason or the other. Two months into this “adventure” and Steve has yet to make any effort of his own to see Jane.

Further complicating this tale of like-gone-wrong is Jane’s instinct, that 6th sense that all women are supposed to have. When she checks in with hers, it tells her that perhaps she should hang in there since when they do talk they’re happy, and this could be a valuable learning opportunity for her. In other words, she’s not convinced she should walk away (although truth be told, she’s slowly getting there).

I’m the observer so now you’re the observer. What do you think? Should Jane stay or leave? My own personal question is: why would a guy who’s so clearly happy with a catch like Jane not actually make the effort to see her? Another personal one: why don’t men listen? If she wants face time (which you seem to enjoy and ps: that’s not code for sex), then why not give it to her? I’m eager to hear what you have to say so share your thoughts in the comments section. I look forward to them. Cheers!

Ed Note: Read the second part of the story here.

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This got me thinking about other random things I’ve been wondering about like:

1. When did it become ok to begin written sentences with the the words ‘And’ or ‘But”? I see this even in supposedly professional and serious publications like newspapers. Don’t editors read? Don’t they edit? Did the rules of grammar change in my absence?
2. When did marriage become a destination? Specifically, when did “getting married” become a goal in life, regardless of the quality of the partnership and companionship?
3. When did marriage/children become a cure to life? It’s possible I’m wrong but in recent years, I seem to see lots of people who view marriage as a cure to their life. I think  partnership is great but I don’t think it’s meant to be used as a stop-loss to life. I was under the impression that marriage and children were supposed to enrich our lives not cure them. Am I wrong?
4. When did intimacy drop in value to ‘just sex?’ I’m no prude; sometimes a F*%k is just a F*%k. It just seems like ALL sexual  intimacy is now relegated to empty sex and god forbid anyone attach meaning and emotional intimacy to sex.

Anyway, there are a few random questions. I’m sure I’ll be adding more over the next few weeks, given my tendancy to daydream during my matatu commutes. Care to share yours?

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First, it was my male cousin – who has been drunk every single time we’ve met this year, btw. Anyway, he found it in his charge to give me advice for my life; something about purchasing land and blah blah blah. He wasn’t done yet though: he leaned closer to me, stinky breath and all, and half whispered that he was ”ahead of me” because he had two children and I had none.

Oooouuuucccchhhhh!!!! Did that hurt you just a bit? I was momentarily stunned and yet not too surprised. Maybe my beloved cousin (insert sarcasm) was simply allowing me to peek into his mind and perhaps the minds of others like him? Who knows? The thing that really bugged me was that this wasn’t the first time he had said something along those lines. The last time he hinted at it, I was newly in the country and still under the cloud of “he’s family…he probably didn’t mean it like that….he’s family SO he couldn’t possibly mean it like that….”  Whatever! I guess now I know better.

Moving on….

I was talking to a friend who is decades older than I am (AND a gynaecologist) earlier today and recounted my conversation with my cousin. Imagine my utter shock when he sided with my cousin! He advised that I as a woman “should” be worried about children at my age. He further told me that the best years for a woman to have a child are between 25 and 35. Incase you were wondering, adoption doesn’t count (sorry to all you adoptive parents and adoptees). First, I’m well within that range and second, what an idiotic attitude to have?!?!

I found all this infuriating and stupid! Consider the following: my cousin is a drunk but he is “ahead of me” simply based on the fact that he had sex twice and delivered millions of sperm targeting just one egg. Let me be the first to say that anyone can make that shot so it’s hardly an accomplishment in and of itself.

I don’t walk around thinking I’m better than other people because I see myself as a securely attached adult (psychology speak) but for purposes of this rant, may I just say that I am the most educated person (male or female) in my whole extended family, I speak my mother tongue better than many of those who’ve never left the country and in general I’m a solid, grounded person (says my very cool grandma ).

So, pray tell, is my worth as a woman reduced to my willingness and/or ability to birth a child? If that isn’t the dumbest thing ever, then I don’t know what is. I’m interested to hear what you have to say though so please do tell me in the comments section.

Photo credit: satty4u

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PS: I finally looked up the meaning of this long, eagerly used word and according to The Collins Paperback English Dictionary, Promulgation is “1. to put into effect (a law or decree) by announcing it officially…2. to make widespread.” Now you know; you’re welcome

CONGRATULATIONS to all Kenyans for making this huge, life- altering decision. Regardless of how one voted, let’s all move FORWARD and create a new life for ourselves and our future generations.

Speaking of promulgation, it’s appears that it is also a new dawn in the telecommunication industry, what with all the fighting between Zain and Safaricom. I’m not gonna lie, I was so thrilled to see Zain land a huge blow to Safaricom. The truth is, Safaricom had become Suffericom; the bitter option for me. This may not be the most original line but gosh, it precisely and consisely expresses my feelings toward Safaricom. This company had become so arrogant and complacent but I stuck it out because I didn’t think there was a better option; I simply didn’t trust Zain and definitely wasn’t sure about YU.

Now that the battle has begun, I can’t wait to see the changed landscape when the dust finally settles. Until then, I’ll be getting my Zain line as soon as I can figure out how to get my exact number with a different dialing code (0722/0733 etc). Now, if only I could finally get a hold of a dual-sim phone or better yet, triple sim.

For Kenya AND the Kenyan Telecommunications industry, it really is a wonderful world.

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Case in point 1: Why on earth do we price things in US Dollars? I mean, when Kenya Airways advertises flights in USD, is that their way of telling us that they’re now “The Pride of America”? I know we have a lot of foreigners living here or travelling here but surely, does that mean that we must now ape what they do, say and are?

Is it just me or didn’t we already go through this obsession in the mid to late 90′s? I remember it like it was yesterday: Kenyans would flock the embassy (at the time, located in the city center) in the wee hours of the morning only to be met with cold, steely eyes. It was like a lottery into ‘heaven’, and those who didn’t get in felt like losers. I thought that whole mess had calmed down a bit but I realize now that it has only begun.

Case in point 2: Our constitution. Before you toss the rotten tomatoes, allow me to say this: our constitution seems to be a shameless copy of the American constitution. My issue is not in the actual passing of the constitution. It’s in the wording and structure. We may (or may not) need a new constitution but why must it be so Americanized.

This is really what I’m irritated about: we, as Kenyans, don’t seem to have a sense of national pride. We can say “Najivunia” blah blah blah but in reality, we’re desperate to look like them – whoever and whatever they may be. We want to wear what they wear, eat what they eat, talk the way they talk even if it sounds so damn fake (some cases excluded though).

We may complain about being colonized but at the risk of sounding I-donno-what, let me say that our first colonization was not our choice but our second colonization surely is.

When will we as Kenyans stand up and truly and proudly be counted?

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I’M MOVING. Countries. Continents! I’m desperate for a change after 8 months in one place. Commitment-phobe anyone? LOL. Reasons don’t matter so much; maybe it’s just an itch that needs to be scratched (I’ve been known to do a couple of radical things every few years, including piercing my navel and shaving my head) or something more meaningful. All I know is that it could be a wonderfully life changing experience. Who knows?

Here’s where I need your help. I need a country to go to. Haha…there goes a sentence I never thought I’d say  I’d prefer if it was in Europe and definitely not North America (nothing personal it’s just that I’ve been there done that. I need a change). Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. I’m black. I don’t usually say that since I don’t think it matters but if I’m going to move to a European country, I’d like it to be not-so-blatantly racist. Just to be clear, I’m not looking for a perfect land; just a place where I won’t end up in actual danger based solely on the color of my skin.

2. I’m college-educated up to Master’s level (and there may be even more higher education in my near future). In other words, I can work legally, haha. Seriously though, this point is because it might help you help me figure out where to go and what to do when I get there.

3. I’m young enough to enjoy some adventure and old enough to enjoy (and value) some culture. I’m pretty open

4. I’m not super picky about weather (although Arctica might be pushing it )

5. I’m not rushing to leave tomorrow but I’m aiming for at least within the next 6-12 months; just fyi

6. I’m not looking to relocate permanently so much as I’m looking to be someplace new for a year or two or whatever. Life is short and I want to pack as much of it as possible into my own life.

Help a sista out.

Until next time, besos!

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Ok, I did something I never thought I’d do. Actually, that’s not entirely true; I’ve always wanted to do it but conditions just never seemed right. I’ve traveled and lived alone but never done this. I took my first solo vacation ever and it was a blast! Yay!!!!!

Picture it: South Coast, gorgeous beaches, lovely views, great food and lots of it, freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted, approved laziness, 4am movie nights with coconut for snacks, eating alone, skimpy little outfits, the ocean for a lullaby, reading trashy magazines by the beach wearing BIG vacation sunglasses, drinking the milk of fresh young coconut with flowers in it, 2 hour head-to-toe spa treatment, interesting people and peace of mind that was out of this world and that’s not even all of it. In short, I was spoiled rotten (and loved every minute of it too ) Leopard Beach Resort and Spa has perfected the art of hospitality (and they’re not even paying me to say that. I promise).

If you’ve never taken a solo vacation, please do. This was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Ever! The memory of it, one month later still brings a smile to my face.

On account of my very relaxed post-vacation state, I’m going to skip ranting and head straight into my raves for the week.

Rave
1. Leopard Beach Resort and Spa. They took my frazzled, tired, depleted self and turned me into a smiling, relaxed belle of the ball. Thank you

2. Family. They might make me crazy sometimes but I love them and I’m blessed to have them

3. Friends. I’m thankful that even though they are fewer, the quality is higher. I love you guys

4. That awesome vacation. This was a tremendous blessing and I really must rave about it.

5. The staff at Leopard Beach. Everyone I met was wonderful to me. I would however like to give a shout-out to Salome (Guest Relations Manager), Naftali (dining), Solomon (Spa), Esther Malanga, Radhika, Richard, Sheena (managers) and of course Chris Modigell (OGW). You guys sent me back to my life a new woman; thanks so much!

6. Bambika Afrika. I have to rave about Bambika Afrika and especially Rhoda, for putting together this lovely vacation for me. Check them out at www.bambikaafrika.com and you’ll see why I trusted her with this precious task.

Ok, time to get back to that thing I get paid to do; work Good day and blissed-out hugs to ya’ll

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Allow me to state in my complaint the many ways in which they terrorize me.

1. They render me speechless
I literally can’t think beyond a few quickly uttered curse words once one is spotted. Even these choice words are uttered within the first nonasecond after which point I am rendered speechless, shaking like a leaf and making incomprehensible sounds of fear. A girl can’t live like this!

2. They interfere with my work
Let me be clear here: I am a mature, hard working, clear headed, lively person. I am also quite good at my job, which requires me to stand infront of groups of people and provide/present information in a clear, concise, understandable and fun manner. Imagine what it must do to my image when, I see one and promptly shriek, clam up and/or leave the room until this green bodied offender is either murdered or gently escorted (read: thrown) out. Let’s just say that it puts my professionalism into question.

3. They are threatening to interfere with my personal hygiene
Simply put, I am willing to skip a shower and you can forget about me brushing my teeth because these pests love to get into my bathroom area. I once begged my mother (yes, you read that right) to go into the bathroom and rescue me from one that was still in there before I could take a shower. She did as requested, except that she then proceeded to come out with two instead of the one previously spotted! I swear this is starting to feel personal!

4. They are interfering with my diet
OK, maybe this one isn’t so bad. Basically, I will skip any, as many and all meals for as long as there is the presence of one of these creatures. Great for my horizontally-expanding waistline but bad for the rest of me i.e. the “me” that loves to eat home cooked food.

I’m not sure why these damn things are whiling their time away, endlessly flying into fluorescent light bulbs en masse but I do know that I’m ready for this to be over so Lord, if your listening, please rescue your very frightened, harassed, annoyed, terrorized child from these flying grasshoppers.

Thank you in advance

Since I have ranted for this whole column, I will skip any additional ranting and go straight to raving.

Rave:

• No pun intended but I went out raving this weekend and may I just give a SHOUT-OUT to Tamasha Hurlingham for their very great entertainment. More specifically, I would like to rave about the DJ at Tamasha who was spinning on Sunday night till dawn. Dude/Chica, you were FREAKING AWESOME! Thank you for an unforgettable night. Needless to say, what happens in Tamasha stays in Tamasha – for good reason
• I’m raving about my friend LNT. You’re an amazing friend and person to know and love. I feel very blessed to have you in my life and plus it’s so great to have you around. I love you. ALOT. Mwah!

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I was around several children of varying ages; 2, 5 and 10. Let’s just say that their behavior left a lot to be desired. In fact, I turned to another relative and declared them to be my most effective form of birth control, better than any pill or condom ever made. I think what bothered me the most was that they weren’t necessarily difficult as children can sometimes be. They were difficult in an “I heard you call me, I heard you tell me not to do that, I hear now telling me to come to you or go outside, but I’m not going to do a darn thing you tell me and there’s NOTHING you can do about it, even if you’re my auntie, uncle or grandma” kind of way. To make matters worse, THEY WERE RIGHT!

I was raised by a parent who let it be known that if I was ever caught doing wrong by anyone I would get a spanking from the neighbor/relative etc (for the wrong done) and from my mum twice (once for the mistake and again for embarrassing her). Let’s just say I always had this sense that my neighbors, aunties, uncles, teachers et al were all watching me every second of my existence and were firmly planted on my mum’s side.

Of course if I was being victimized or needed protection from whoever, they were on my side. Knowing all this, you can image my shock and dismay to find that in these kids’ parent’s eyes, they were perfect angels and those of us who called them out for their mistakes became the enemy of the parent present (in this case, the mother more than the father). Incidentally, all the adults present – minus said parents – could clearly see that these kids were not behaving in an appropriate or acceptable manner. My question then is this: does it still take a village to raise a child?

Rant:

1. Bad parenting. Yeah I said it; I think to parent in such a manner that children cannot or will not respond to adults in an appropriate manner is bad parenting. There are reasons why God gives us parents (or parent-like figures) and I’m sure one them is so that we can instruct and guide them well. Are we going to raise our children and our villages’ children or are they going to raise us? I mean, aren’t we crippling them when we refuse to see that they are  wonderful yet imperfect and in need of guidance and correction? That’s every human’s natural condition; wonderful yet imperfect and still in need of correction

2. Thika road between Kenyatta University and town. Wow! It was horrid this Easter. What is happening?!?!

Rave:

1. Divine Words of Poetry: Neo Soul and Poetry Night at DiVino’s restaurant. OH. MY. GOD. These guys were amazing and did a great job!!! The poetry was great; I just wish I knew these poets and musicians. I know the content of their work but I do wish I knew their actual names so I could rave on them by name.

2. Fena. You guys already know that I’m such a huge fan of hers. I’ve gotta say that this night was even better than any other performance of hers that I’ve been to. Girl got MAAAAAD skills. Seriously. What in world was that about???? Go Fena. Fantastic work, as always and plus your guitarist Izo (spelling?) is talented and cute. Not bad  Great musical match.

Please give me your opinion of my question above: does it still take a village to raise a child? Also, if you know any other artists from Divine Words of Poetry: Neo Soul and Poetry Night, please do share in the comments section. I wanna rave on them by name. In fact, I just might do an entire post on them all. Yeah, they were THAT good!

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? OK, more specifically who started this losing war? The women who demanded too much from men, thus turning them into chivalry-deprived, insensitive, sex-crazed empty souled creatures (deep breath) OR the men who, due to their above-named issues turned women into gold-digging, self respect-lacking, easily sexed, easily pleased, empty souled creatures? Does it matter? Dear Diary, who cares?????

Listen, I suppose the point I’m trying to make it is this: I feel like lots of people are in the biggest race of their lives, trying to impress people they don’t know with money they don’t have and things they don’t need. In addition, these same blind-leading-the-blind people are also in a great mysterious quest to prove something to someone: that they matter! The sad thing is, these people often end up with pie in the face because as it turns out:

1. Of course they matter. They never had to prove it anyway because it’s a given; an obvious fact. Of course they matter, money or no money. Sex or no sex. Relationship or no relationship. No matter what they think they need to matter, they DO matter so what’s with the rat race to prove the obvious? Duh!

2. Ironically, even if they DO matter they end up feeling like they matter less than they really do because they compromised their values and no longer respect themselves or recognize themselves. Insult to injury? They have a hard time finding someone who loves them, maybe because he/she too is as broken as they feel? Perhaps?

Dear Diary, I wish people – and in this case, Kenyans – would revert to the old fashioned way of life where self respect and dignity and integrity and consideration and kindness and honesty were the norm. Just because we’ve found some nice things to borrow from other cultures (e.g US) doesn’t mean that we must take every damn thing that they have. No culture is perfect but surely we do ourselves a disservice when we trade even the good and beautiful about us for the ugly and unsustainable and unhealthy about them. Just saying…..

On to my rants and raves for the week.

Rant:

1. Freaking Barclays Bank. I haven’t even started banking with them yet I’m already irriated. Yuck! Does anyone have an account with Barclays and is happy??? Better yet, is anyone having as terrible a time with them as I am? They won’t even give a potential customer any information on their different accounts. They’re all so hell-bent on having you open a Prestige Account. Who cares?!?! I’m the customer damn it and I don’t want a prestige account! Sheesh

Rave

1. My job! I can’t say yet what I do but I’m really loving this new adventure. Don’t get me wrong; it has its challenges and I’ve already had a tantrum (or two?) in the first week (privately  ) but I’m so happy and blessed to have this opportunity for growth and learning that I just had to rave about it. I mean, really, how often does THAT happen? Rave on about your job too in the comments section (or rant, if that’s the case!) It’ll be just between the two of us

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Here I am sitting in the darkness. I have to say, it’s pretty nice trying to play scrabble with some really cool people, squinting in the candle light to see the letters on the old tiles. Actually, they’re playing and I’m chilling. Kenyan style. In the dark

Seriously though, how was your week? Mine was interesting, as usual. Here’s the thing on my mind though: A non-Kenyan male friend recently shared with me that the word on the street is…are you ready? “Kenyan girls are cheap.” Whaaaa???!!!?!?!? I’ve gotta say I got a bit defensive about that, for all of 5 seconds. He was kind enough to let me in on why Kenyan girls have such a nasty reputation. According to him, if they (the girls/females) think that you might have money and/or you’re a foreigner, then they’re willing to give up what they think the man wants. OUCH! Since that very painful conversation, I’ve tried to look at things from the male perspective and I have to admit that it’s not looking good. Ladies, is this true?!?!

And now on to my rants…

Rant:

Kenyan ladies: Hold the rotten eggs and tomatoes and let me explain. First, I know that it’s not all ladies who are loose but I’ve to admit that from a guys perspective, it looks like a lot, and I mean A LOT of ladies do give the impression that they can be had for a very small price. Where is the dignity? Self respect?

Since I’m ranting, lemme really put my back into it and say what I’ve been wondering for a while now. What’s this Kenyan obsession with foreign things and foreign people? When did we become so into other people’s standards of living? What’s with the caviar taste on a pauper’s budget? What’s with expecting a guy to treat you like you see on some pathetic soap operas? What’s with the idea that what we see on TV is actually reality? Hellooooo ladies, can we please style up and get back to what is actually a beautiful and honest reality? Even if it isn’t, our dignity should not be for sale, yes???

Kenyan men! Urrghh…Don’t EVEN get me started! Who on earth gave you the stupid idea that unless you’re sleeping around you’re not really a man? What happened to your self respect? Dignity? Integrity? Where are you when the real men are being counted? You want respect? Earn it, and start with yourself first! When did sex become a measure of your worth as a man? What happened to holding yourself to the kind of high standards that made you a high quality man worthy of a high quality woman??? Can you PLEASE wake up and STOP listening to your miserable loser friends telling you to have sex - and without protection at that - to measure up. What your so-called friends are conveniently neglecting to mention is that they’re sad, depressed and lonely when they go home and face their real world.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we please decide to put an end to this vicious cycle that we started on each other and just cal

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I honestly don’t feel like sharing much. Maybe it’s coz I’m sleepy or maybe I’m just a little bummed. Maybe both. This week, I had to say goodbye to someone I very much rather not say goodbye to. They mean a lot to me and I’m disappointed that it has come to this. Honestly I just wanna have myself a little boohoo party but I’m a big girl now, so I guess I’m taking the stiff-upper-lip approach, with a small quiver in my lower lip

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you’d rather stayed? Maybe broken up with someone when you were hoping it’d last or had to end a friendship that just wasn’t working out? What did you do to get through it? How did you cope? What advice or suggestions would you give me? Please share with me in the comments section. I could use the encouragement this week. 

I’ve a couple of rants and raves this week so here goes:

Rant:

1. The elevators at KNH. OMG, these things are like death traps. I mean, it’s actually kind of funny but every time I start to laugh I realize that in a very short time there might be a headline in the papers about one of those monsters having injured or killed those inside. These things are old, slow, dangerous and need to be repaired or better yet, replaced. ASAP! Can Kenyatta National Hospital please please PLEASE style up and do something about these monstrosities. They are seriously dangerous!

Rave:

1. Love Is Kenya, the pre-Valentine’s day event at the Museum on Sato, Feb 13th 2010 by Penya Africa. All I can say is wow, wow, WOW! This was an event put together by people who obviously understand quality, originality, fun, business and kudos to the those responsible for the sound system. If you didn’t go, allow me to give you a brief recap; the night was beautiful (God takes credit for that ), the music was fun, original, creative, socially conscious, entertaining….basically the kind of music you can listen to without blushing and enjoy yourself in the process. The venue was genius. Congrats to Penya for setting the pace, doing their thing and doing it TIGHT!

2. The Penya artists. I can’t name then all but please allow me to totally rave about three of my faves for the evening (in no particular order): Dela, Stan and my absolute favorite FENA. My only rant is why did FENA sing only one song? Penya, give a girl some play time and allow us to hear more of her. Rumor is, there’s plenty more where that came from.

3. Penya: I’m raving about Penya separately because from what I can tell, they’ve got it right: nurturing new artists, encouraging creativity and support within the “Penya family” and proving that good music need not involve the kind of unoriginal BS that’s flooding our air waves. Sauti Sol anyone? Dela? Fena? Stan? Just A Band? If you don’t know anything about these groups, do yourself a favor and check them out!

4. KNH, specifically the 10th floor. I’d love to give a blanket rave to the whole hospital but I’ve only seen the 10th floor at work. It’s not fancy medical care, it’s good medical care. I appreciate the care they’re giving my loved one and from what I can tell, the staff there, from doctors to nurses to cleaning and kitchen staff…all these professionals know their job and do their job. The patient’s bathrooms are clean, as are the wards and the patients seem well taken care of. Thanks KNH staff for a job well done. The elevators suck but if you can survive the ride, you can be assured of great care on the 10th floor.

OK, I’m out. Raving has certainly lifted my spirits but I still want to hear your answers about the questions above. In a nutshell, what should I do? Please advise, and have a great week. Mwah!

Love,

Mia

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What a rough, weird and interesting week! I’ll skip the rough and interesting and go right to the weird. I met a guy. Nothing weird about that, right? So how come in our first conversation he asked for my number so that he can “flash me” so I can call him back? This was right after he implied that I was fat (gasp!) Still need to be convinced diary? How about this? By the next conversation – and by next I mean second – he referred to me as his girlfriend and insisted on it! Ohhhh dear diary but there’s more. By our third conversation he insisted on referring to me as his wife! WHAAAAAA??? Is he crazy?

Ok, I know what you’re thinking: he was probably joking…nothing serious…meant no harm…don’t take these things too seriously…blah blah blah. I admit that maybe I was getting abit too serious about it but still; don’t you think it’s a tad much to be talking like that to someone he barely knows? We haven’t even been on a first date for goodness sakes! Well, I knew it’d take some convincing for you to see this my way so here’s the last straw for me.

During our last conversation, he actually said – OUT LOUD – “oohhhh, you sound horny!” Dear diary, are your eyes bulging out of their sockets yet? Did you just throw up a little in your mouth? Feel any disgust? Well, I did! That was the last straw, especially after he repeated himself twice. Dear Diary, I’m done with this weirdo. Count me out! Next!

I’ve a rant and a rave for my week.

Rant: This week I’m ranting about SAFARICOM, or as I once saw it written, SUFFERICOM. Listen, I’m a loyal Suffericom customer and most of the time I think they’re the better option but lately, especially where internet is concerned, they’ve been the bitter option for me. In a nutshell: why offer unlimited internet for Kshs. 999 when they don’t have the capacity to handle that much usage? Safaricom: Get your act together and style up! Provide what you offer or don’t offer it at all

Rave: Ooohhhh I am RAVING about my all-time favorite chocolate: Old Jamaica. Trust me when I tell you that it’s a bar of delicious goodness. Yum! For some reason unknown to me, I stopped indulging in this old favorite until my recent re-discovery of my dear old friend. Let me put it this way: Old Jamaica gets you kiss-ready in no time. Nuff said

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Since this is our first meeting, I thought it’d be great to start with some R&R. One of the things that we do on a daily basis is talk about something or someone or someplace. Sometimes, we rave – speak in a positive light – (like when a Matatu charges you 30bob to “tao ndani” and then actually does take you tao ndani) and other times, we’re pissed off (e.g. like when Uchumi displaces its product and then attempts to sell it to you but for the higher price and then refuses to refund the difference. Major Rant!)

I would love to hear your rants and raves for the day, week, month and year in the comments. Basically, wewe sema tu! Just come over and tell me all about it. For my part, I’ll also contribute my rants and raves, and somewhere in between, I’ll also be talking about random but interesting things. Before we can move on, here are a few pledges:

1. I pledge to do my due diligence and keep up with you all on a weekly basis
2. I pledge to do my best to respond to each comment so keep them coming, hata kama it’s a rant ama a rave
3. I pledge to do my best to make this interesting and fun to read
4. I pledge to be honest; no corruption here
5. I pledge to stop pledging and start with my first R&R. Ready? Let’s go!

I hope you had a great start to the new year and great week to boot. My new year started out badly coz I lost my very cool, very awesome guuka but since we laid him to rest, the year is getting better. The week was uneventful but not without something to R&R about; I’ve two things to share…

Rant: I’m ranting about Uchumi in Buru. First, they placed the wrong product on the wrong isle. Next, they charged me for the wrong product at the higher price. Worse, once they confirmed that the mistake was theirs, they started giving me the runaround. They even told me that they wouldn’t give me the difference (ksh. 58!) and when I explained that they would give me back my money, they suggested I take a loaf of bread instead. Helloooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhoo, eventually, they did give me back my money but not before keeping me there for a long time unnecessarily, including having me talk to a customer service rep and a manager. Uchumi, that wasn’t cool. That’s not the way to treat a loyal customer.

Rave: This week I’m raving about a mat I pandad jana. They said “tao ndani” and for 30 bob. Guess what? They actually did go “tao ndani” and they didn’t pull any tricks. Considering how mats can do you wrong by taking you to sijui where, several km’s from the intended destination (that was me last week), I thought it’d be great for me to give them a shout-out. Sasa unfortunately I forgot to take down their name but I’ll keep an eye out and when I find out, I’ll let you guys know.

I’m dying to hear about what’s going on in your world, hata kama you’re in Kenya, America, Sri Lanka….wherever you are, share your rants and raves in the comments and if there are places or stores that we don’t know about, please elaborate.

Have a fantastic week ahead!

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