These last few days, I found out what my apparent worth is.

First, it was my male cousin – who has been drunk every single time we’ve met this year, btw. Anyway, he found it in his charge to give me advice for my life; something about purchasing land and blah blah blah. He wasn’t done yet though: he leaned closer to me, stinky breath and all, and half whispered that he was ”ahead of me” because he had two children and I had none.

Oooouuuucccchhhhh!!!! Did that hurt you just a bit? I was momentarily stunned and yet not too surprised. Maybe my beloved cousin (insert sarcasm) was simply allowing me to peek into his mind and perhaps the minds of others like him? Who knows? The thing that really bugged me was that this wasn’t the first time he had said something along those lines. The last time he hinted at it, I was newly in the country and still under the cloud of “he’s family…he probably didn’t mean it like that….he’s family SO he couldn’t possibly mean it like that….”  Whatever! I guess now I know better.

Moving on….

I was talking to a friend who is decades older than I am (AND a gynaecologist) earlier today and recounted my conversation with my cousin. Imagine my utter shock when he sided with my cousin! He advised that I as a woman “should” be worried about children at my age. He further told me that the best years for a woman to have a child are between 25 and 35. Incase you were wondering, adoption doesn’t count (sorry to all you adoptive parents and adoptees). First, I’m well within that range and second, what an idiotic attitude to have?!?!

I found all this infuriating and stupid! Consider the following: my cousin is a drunk but he is “ahead of me” simply based on the fact that he had sex twice and delivered millions of sperm targeting just one egg. Let me be the first to say that anyone can make that shot so it’s hardly an accomplishment in and of itself.

I don’t walk around thinking I’m better than other people because I see myself as a securely attached adult (psychology speak) but for purposes of this rant, may I just say that I am the most educated person (male or female) in my whole extended family, I speak my mother tongue better than many of those who’ve never left the country and in general I’m a solid, grounded person (says my very cool grandma ).

So, pray tell, is my worth as a woman reduced to my willingness and/or ability to birth a child? If that isn’t the dumbest thing ever, then I don’t know what is. I’m interested to hear what you have to say though so please do tell me in the comments section.

Photo credit: satty4u

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“It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new life…” or so goes the jazz song. On August 27th 2010, the new Kenyan constitution was promulgated.

PS: I finally looked up the meaning of this long, eagerly used word and according to The Collins Paperback English Dictionary, Promulgation is “1. to put into effect (a law or decree) by announcing it officially…2. to make widespread.” Now you know; you’re welcome

CONGRATULATIONS to all Kenyans for making this huge, life- altering decision. Regardless of how one voted, let’s all move FORWARD and create a new life for ourselves and our future generations.

Speaking of promulgation, it’s appears that it is also a new dawn in the telecommunication industry, what with all the fighting between Zain and Safaricom. I’m not gonna lie, I was so thrilled to see Zain land a huge blow to Safaricom. The truth is, Safaricom had become Suffericom; the bitter option for me. This may not be the most original line but gosh, it precisely and consisely expresses my feelings toward Safaricom. This company had become so arrogant and complacent but I stuck it out because I didn’t think there was a better option; I simply didn’t trust Zain and definitely wasn’t sure about YU.

Now that the battle has begun, I can’t wait to see the changed landscape when the dust finally settles. Until then, I’ll be getting my Zain line as soon as I can figure out how to get my exact number with a different dialing code (0722/0733 etc). Now, if only I could finally get a hold of a dual-sim phone or better yet, triple sim.

For Kenya AND the Kenyan Telecommunications industry, it really is a wonderful world.

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What’s up with Kenyans’ obsession with all things American???

Case in point 1: Why on earth do we price things in US Dollars? I mean, when Kenya Airways advertises flights in USD, is that their way of telling us that they’re now “The Pride of America”? I know we have a lot of foreigners living here or travelling here but surely, does that mean that we must now ape what they do, say and are?

Is it just me or didn’t we already go through this obsession in the mid to late 90’s? I remember it like it was yesterday: Kenyans would flock the embassy (at the time, located in the city center) in the wee hours of the morning only to be met with cold, steely eyes. It was like a lottery into ‘heaven’, and those who didn’t get in felt like losers. I thought that whole mess had calmed down a bit but I realize now that it has only begun.

Case in point 2: Our constitution. Before you toss the rotten tomatoes, allow me to say this: our constitution seems to be a shameless copy of the American constitution. My issue is not in the actual passing of the constitution. It’s in the wording and structure. We may (or may not) need a new constitution but why must it be so Americanized.

This is really what I’m irritated about: we, as Kenyans, don’t seem to have a sense of national pride. We can say “Najivunia” blah blah blah but in reality, we’re desperate to look like them – whoever and whatever they may be. We want to wear what they wear, eat what they eat, talk the way they talk even if it sounds so damn fake (some cases excluded though).

We may complain about being colonized but at the risk of sounding I-donno-what, let me say that our first colonization was not our choice but our second colonization surely is.

When will we as Kenyans stand up and truly and proudly be counted?

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My good people, I have news. Big news. HUUUUUGE news! Are you ready? I hope so because after I tell you, I’m gonna need your help, ok?

I’M MOVING. Countries. Continents! I’m desperate for a change after 8 months in one place. Commitment-phobe anyone? LOL. Reasons don’t matter so much; maybe it’s just an itch that needs to be scratched (I’ve been known to do a couple of radical things every few years, including piercing my navel and shaving my head) or something more meaningful. All I know is that it could be a wonderfully life changing experience. Who knows?

Here’s where I need your help. I need a country to go to. Haha…there goes a sentence I never thought I’d say  I’d prefer if it was in Europe and definitely not North America (nothing personal it’s just that I’ve been there done that. I need a change). Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. I’m black. I don’t usually say that since I don’t think it matters but if I’m going to move to a European country, I’d like it to be not-so-blatantly racist. Just to be clear, I’m not looking for a perfect land; just a place where I won’t end up in actual danger based solely on the color of my skin.

2. I’m college-educated up to Master’s level (and there may be even more higher education in my near future). In other words, I can work legally, haha. Seriously though, this point is because it might help you help me figure out where to go and what to do when I get there.

3. I’m young enough to enjoy some adventure and old enough to enjoy (and value) some culture. I’m pretty open

4. I’m not super picky about weather (although Arctica might be pushing it )

5. I’m not rushing to leave tomorrow but I’m aiming for at least within the next 6-12 months; just fyi

6. I’m not looking to relocate permanently so much as I’m looking to be someplace new for a year or two or whatever. Life is short and I want to pack as much of it as possible into my own life.

Help a sista out.

Until next time, besos!

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It’s been a while since my last post but don’t be mad. Once you find out what I’ve been up to you’ll wish you were there with me. Before I get to the business of making you green with envy, let me start by asking how’ve you been? I like hearing from you so definitely let a sista know what’s good with you. Ready to go green?

Ok, I did something I never thought I’d do. Actually, that’s not entirely true; I’ve always wanted to do it but conditions just never seemed right. I’ve traveled and lived alone but never done this. I took first solo vacation ever and it was a blast! Yay!!!!!

Picture it: South Coast, gorgeous beaches, lovely views, great food and lots of it, freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted, approved laziness, 4am movie nights with coconut for snacks, eating alone, skimpy little outfits, the ocean for a lullaby, reading trashy magazines by the beach wearing BIG vacation sunglasses, drinking the milk of fresh young coconut with flowers in it, spoiled rotten, 2 hour head-to-toe spa treatment, interesting people and peace of mind that was out of this world and that’s not even all of it. Leopard Beach Resort and Spa has perfected the art of hospitality (and they’re not even paying me to say that. I promise).

If you’ve never taken a solo vacation, please do. This was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Ever! The memory of it, one month later still brings a smile to my face.

On account of my very relaxed post-vacation state, I’m going to skip ranting and head straight into my raves for the week.

Rave
1. Leopard Beach Resort and Spa. They took my frazzled, tired, depleted self and turned me into a smiling, relaxed belle of the ball. Thank you

2. Family. They might make me crazy sometimes but I love them and I’m blessed to have them

3. Friends. I am thankful that even though they are fewer, the quality is higher. I love you guys

4. That awesome vacation. This was a tremendous blessing and I really must rave about it.

5. The staff at Leopard Beach. Everyone I met was wonderful to me. I would however like to give a shout-out to Salome (Guest Relations Manager), Naftali (dining), Solomon (Spa), Esther Malanga, Radhika, Richard, Sheena (managers) and of course Chris Modigell (OGW). You guys sent me back to my life a new woman; thanks so much!

6. Bambika Afrika. I have to rave about Bambika Afrika and especially Rhoda, for putting together this lovely vacation for me. Check them out at www.bambikaafrika.com and you’ll see why I trusted her with this precious task.

Ok, time to get back to that thing I get paid to do; work Good day and blissed-out hugs to ya’ll

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I would like to lodge a formal complaint to someone, perhaps God, about these darn green things. I feel terrorized by them. I am offended that I can’t walk home or anywhere else for that matter without wondering from whence these nasty terrorists will appear. More importantly, I am on the constant look-out lest they land their nasty little wide legs on me! Ladies and gentlemen, this translates into a state of constant fear and it’s not funny or cute.

Allow me to state in my complaint the many ways in which they terrorize me.

1. They render me speechless
I literally can’t think beyond a few quickly uttered curse words once one is spotted. Even these choice words are uttered within the first nonasecond after which point I am rendered speechless, shaking like a leaf and making incomprehensible sounds of fear. A girl can’t live like this!

2. They interfere with my work
Let me be clear here: I am a mature, hard working, clear headed, lively person. I am also quite good at my job, which requires me to stand infront of groups of people and provide/present information in a clear, concise, understandable and fun manner. Imagine what it must do to my image when, I see one and promptly shriek, clam up and/or leave the room until this green bodied offender is either murdered or gently escorted (read: thrown) out. Let’s just say that it puts my professionalism into question.

3. They are threatening to interfere with my personal hygiene
Simply put, I am willing to skip a shower and you can forget about me brushing my teeth because these pests love to get into my bathroom area. I once begged my mother (yes, you read that right) to go into the bathroom and rescue me from one that was still in there before I could take a shower. She did as requested, except that she then proceeded to come out with two instead of the one previously spotted! I swear this is starting to feel personal!

4. They are interfering with my diet
OK, maybe this one isn’t so bad. Basically, I will skip any, as many and all meals for as long as there is the presence of one of these creatures. Great for my horizontally-expanding waistline but bad for the rest of me i.e. the “me” that loves to eat home cooked food.

I’m not sure why these damn things are whiling their time away, endlessly flying into fluorescent light bulbs en masse but I do know that I’m ready for this to be over so Lord, if your listening, please rescue your very frightened, harassed, annoyed, terrorized child from these flying grasshoppers.

Thank you in advance

Since I have ranted for this whole column, I will skip any additional ranting and go straight to raving.

Rave:

• No pun intended but I went out raving this weekend and may I just give a SHOUT-OUT to Tamasha Hurlingham for their very great entertainment. More specifically, I would like to rave about the DJ at Tamasha who was spinning on Sunday night till dawn. Dude/Chica, you were FREAKING AWESOME! Thank you for an unforgettable night. Needless to say, what happens in Tamasha stays in Tamasha – for good reason
• I’m raving about my friend LNT. You’re an amazing friend and person to know and love. I feel very blessed to have you in my life and plus it’s so great to have you around. I love you. ALOT. Mwah!

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Ok, so first of all, happy belated Easter. Clearly I’m in a whole other time zone coz Easter totally passed me by. I did however have a chance to go out of town and visit some relaz. While there, I observed something that I thought I’d put to a vote with my readers so please indulge me.

I was around several children of varying ages; 2, 5 and 10. Let’s just say that their behavior left a lot to be desired. In fact, I turned to another relative and declared them to be my most effective form of birth control, better than any pill or condom ever made. I think what bothered me the most was that they weren’t necessarily difficult as children can sometimes be. They were difficult in an “I heard you call me, I heard you tell me not to do that, I hear now telling me to come to you or go outside, but I’m not going to do a darn thing you tell me and there’s NOTHING you can do about it, even if you’re my auntie, uncle or grandma” kind of way. To make matters worse, THEY WERE RIGHT!

I was raised by a parent who let it be known that if I was ever caught doing wrong by anyone I would get a spanking from the neighbor/relative etc (for the wrong done) and from my mum twice (once for the mistake and again for embarrassing her). Let’s just say I always had this sense that my neighbors, aunties, uncles, teachers et al were all watching me every second of my existence and were firmly planted on my mum’s side.

Of course if I was being victimized or needed protection from whoever, they were on my side. Knowing all this, you can image my shock and dismay to find that in these kids’ parent’s eyes, they were perfect angels and those of us who called them out for their mistakes became the enemy of the parent present (in this case, the mother more than the father). Incidentally, all the adults present – minus said parents – could clearly see that these kids were not behaving in an appropriate or acceptable manner. My question then is this: does it still take a village to raise a child?

Rant:

1. Bad parenting. Yeah I said it; I think to parent in such a manner that children cannot or will not respond to adults in an appropriate manner is bad parenting. There are reasons why God gives us parents (or parent-like figures) and I’m sure one them is so that we can instruct and guide them well. Are we going to raise our children and our villages’ children or are they going to raise us? I mean, aren’t we crippling them when we refuse to see that they are  wonderful yet imperfect and in need of guidance and correction? That’s every human’s natural condition; wonderful yet imperfect and still in need of correction

2. Thika road between Kenyatta University and town. Wow! It was horrid this Easter. What is happening?!?!

Rave:

1. Divine Words of Poetry: Neo Soul and Poetry Night at DiVino’s restaurant. OH. MY. GOD. These guys were amazing and did a great job!!! The poetry was great; I just wish I knew these poets and musicians. I know the content of their work but I do wish I knew their actual names so I could rave on them by name.

2. Fena. You guys already know that I’m such a huge fan of hers. I’ve gotta say that this night was even better than any other performance of hers that I’ve been to. Girl got MAAAAAD skills. Seriously. What in world was that about???? Go Fena. Fantastic work, as always and plus your guitarist Izo (spelling?) is talented and cute. Not bad  Great musical match.

Please give me your opinion of my question above: does it still take a village to raise a child? Also, if you know any other artists from Divine Words of Poetry: Neo Soul and Poetry Night, please do share in the comments section. I wanna rave on them by name. In fact, I just might do an entire post on them all. Yeah, they were THAT good!

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Dear Diary,

What came first? The chicken or the egg? OK, more specifically who started this losing war? The women who demanded too much from men, thus turning them into chivalry-deprived, insensitive, sex-crazed empty souled creatures (deep breath) OR the men who, due to their above-named issues turned women into gold-digging, self respect-lacking, easily sexed, easily pleased, empty souled creatures? Does it matter? Dear Diary, who cares?????

Listen, I suppose the point I’m trying to make it is this: I feel like lots of people are in the biggest race of their lives, trying to impress people they don’t know with money they don’t have and things they don’t need. In addition, these same blind-leading-the-blind people are also in a great mysterious quest to prove something to someone: that they matter! The sad thing is, these people often end up with pie in the face because as it turns out:

1. Of course they matter. They never had to prove it anyway because it’s a given; an obvious fact. Of course they matter, money or no money. Sex or no sex. Relationship or no relationship. No matter what they think they need to matter, they DO matter so what’s with the rat race to prove the obvious? Duh!

2. Ironically, even if they DO matter they end up feeling like they matter less than they really do because they compromised their values and no longer respect themselves or recognize themselves. Insult to injury? They have a hard time finding someone who loves them, maybe because he/she too is as broken as they feel? Perhaps?

Dear Diary, I wish people – and in this case, Kenyans – would revert to the old fashioned way of life where self respect and dignity and integrity and consideration and kindness and honesty were the norm. Just because we’ve found some nice things to borrow from other cultures (e.g US) doesn’t mean that we must take every damn thing that they have. No culture is perfect but surely we do ourselves a disservice when we trade even the good and beautiful about us for the ugly and unsustainable and unhealthy about them. Just saying…..

On to my rants and raves for the week.

Rant:

1. Freaking Barclays Bank. I haven’t even started banking with them yet I’m already irriated. Yuck! Does anyone have an account with Barclays and is happy??? Better yet, is anyone having as terrible a time with them as I am? They won’t even give a potential customer any information on their different accounts. They’re all so hell-bent on having you open a Prestige Account. Who cares?!?! I’m the customer damn it and I don’t want a prestige account! Sheesh

Rave

1. My job! I can’t say yet what I do but I’m really loving this new adventure. Don’t get me wrong; it has its challenges and I’ve already had a tantrum (or two?) in the first week (privately  ) but I’m so happy and blessed to have this opportunity for growth and learning that I just had to rave about it. I mean, really, how often does THAT happen? Rave on about your job too in the comments section (or rant, if that’s the case!) It’ll be just between the two of us

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Dear Diary,

Here I am sitting in the darkness. I have to say, it’s pretty nice trying to play scrabble with some really cool people, squinting in the candle light to see the letters on the old tiles. Actually, they’re playing and I’m chilling. Kenyan style. In the dark

Seriously though, how was your week? Mine was interesting, as usual. Here’s the thing on my mind though: A non-Kenyan male friend recently shared with me that the word on the street is…are you ready? “Kenyan girls are cheap.” Whaaaa???!!!?!?!? I’ve gotta say I got a bit defensive about that, for all of 5 seconds. He was kind enough to let me in on why Kenyan girls have such a nasty reputation. According to him, if they (the girls/females) think that you might have money and/or you’re a foreigner, then they’re willing to give up what they think the man wants. OUCH! Since that very painful conversation, I’ve tried to look at things from the male perspective and I have to admit that it’s not looking good. Ladies, is this true?!?!

And now on to my rants…

Rant:

Kenyan ladies: Hold the rotten eggs and tomatoes and let me explain. First, I know that it’s not all ladies who are loose but I’ve to admit that from a guys perspective, it looks like a lot, and I mean A LOT of ladies do give the impression that they can be had for a very small price. Where is the dignity? Self respect?

Since I’m ranting, lemme really put my back into it and say what I’ve been wondering for a while now. What’s this Kenyan obsession with foreign things and foreign people? When did we become so into other people’s standards of living? What’s with the caviar taste on a pauper’s budget? What’s with expecting a guy to treat you like you see on some pathetic soap operas? What’s with the idea that what we see on TV is actually reality? Hellooooo ladies, can we please style up and get back to what is actually a beautiful and honest reality? Even if it isn’t, our dignity should not be for sale, yes???

Kenyan men! Urrghh…Don’t EVEN get me started! Who on earth gave you the stupid idea that unless you’re sleeping around you’re not really a man? What happened to your self respect? Dignity? Integrity? Where are you when the real men are being counted? You want respect? Earn it, and start with yourself first! When did sex become a measure of your worth as a man? What happened to holding yourself to the kind of high standards that made you a high quality man worthy of a high quality woman??? Can you PLEASE wake up and STOP listening to your miserable loser friends telling you to have sex - and without protection at that - to measure up. What your so-called friends are conveniently neglecting to mention is that they’re sad, depressed and lonely when they go home and face their real world.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we please decide to put an end to this vicious cycle that we started on each other and just cal

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Dear Diary,

I honestly don’t feel like sharing much. Maybe it’s coz I’m sleepy or maybe I’m just a little bummed. Maybe both. This week, I had to say goodbye to someone I very much rather not say goodbye to. They mean a lot to me and I’m disappointed that it has come to this. Honestly I just wanna have myself a little boohoo party but I’m a big girl now, so I guess I’m taking the stiff-upper-lip approach, with a small quiver in my lower lip

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone you’d rather stayed? Maybe broken up with someone when you were hoping it’d last or had to end a friendship that just wasn’t working out? What did you do to get through it? How did you cope? What advice or suggestions would you give me? Please share with me in the comments section. I could use the encouragement this week. 

I’ve a couple of rants and raves this week so here goes:

Rant:

1. The elevators at KNH. OMG, these things are like death traps. I mean, it’s actually kind of funny but every time I start to laugh I realize that in a very short time there might be a headline in the papers about one of those monsters having injured or killed those inside. These things are old, slow, dangerous and need to be repaired or better yet, replaced. ASAP! Can Kenyatta National Hospital please please PLEASE style up and do something about these monstrosities. They are seriously dangerous!

Rave:

1. Love Is Kenya, the pre-Valentine’s day event at the Museum on Sato, Feb 13th 2010 by Penya Africa. All I can say is wow, wow, WOW! This was an event put together by people who obviously understand quality, originality, fun, business and kudos to the those responsible for the sound system. If you didn’t go, allow me to give you a brief recap; the night was beautiful (God takes credit for that ), the music was fun, original, creative, socially conscious, entertaining….basically the kind of music you can listen to without blushing and enjoy yourself in the process. The venue was genius. Congrats to Penya for setting the pace, doing their thing and doing it TIGHT!

2. The Penya artists. I can’t name then all but please allow me to totally rave about three of my faves for the evening (in no particular order): Dela, Stan and my absolute favorite FENA. My only rant is why did FENA sing only one song? Penya, give a girl some play time and allow us to hear more of her. Rumor is, there’s plenty more where that came from.

3. Penya: I’m raving about Penya separately because from what I can tell, they’ve got it right: nurturing new artists, encouraging creativity and support within the “Penya family” and proving that good music need not involve the kind of unoriginal BS that’s flooding our air waves. Sauti Sol anyone? Dela? Fena? Stan? Just A Band? If you don’t know anything about these groups, do yourself a favor and check them out!

4. KNH, specifically the 10th floor. I’d love to give a blanket rave to the whole hospital but I’ve only seen the 10th floor at work. It’s not fancy medical care, it’s good medical care. I appreciate the care they’re giving my loved one and from what I can tell, the staff there, from doctors to nurses to cleaning and kitchen staff…all these professionals know their job and do their job. The patient’s bathrooms are clean, as are the wards and the patients seem well taken care of. Thanks KNH staff for a job well done. The elevators suck but if you can survive the ride, you can be assured of great care on the 10th floor.

OK, I’m out. Raving has certainly lifted my spirits but I still want to hear your answers about the questions above. In a nutshell, what should I do? Please advise, and have a great week. Mwah!

Love,

Mia

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Dear Diary,

What a rough, weird and interesting week! I’ll skip the rough and interesting and go right to the weird. I met a guy. Nothing weird about that, right? So how come in our first conversation he asked for my number so that he can “flash me” so I can call him back? This was right after he implied that I was fat (gasp!) Still need to be convinced diary? How about this? By the next conversation – and by next I mean second – he referred to me as his girlfriend and insisted on it! Ohhhh dear diary but there’s more. By our third conversation he insisted on referring to me as his wife! WHAAAAAA??? Is he crazy?

Ok, I know what you’re thinking: he was probably joking…nothing serious…meant no harm…don’t take these things too seriously…blah blah blah. I admit that maybe I was getting abit too serious about it but still; don’t you think it’s a tad much to be talking like that to someone he barely knows? We haven’t even been on a first date for goodness sakes! Well, I knew it’d take some convincing for you to see this my way so here’s the last straw for me.

During our last conversation, he actually said – OUT LOUD – “oohhhh, you sound horny!” Dear diary, are your eyes bulging out of their sockets yet? Did you just throw up a little in your mouth? Feel any disgust? Well, I did! That was the last straw, especially after he repeated himself twice. Dear Diary, I’m done with this weirdo. Count me out! Next!

I’ve a rant and a rave for my week.

Rant: This week I’m ranting about SAFARICOM, or as I once saw it written, SUFFERICOM. Listen, I’m a loyal Suffericom customer and most of the time I think they’re the better option but lately, especially where internet is concerned, they’ve been the bitter option for me. In a nutshell: why offer unlimited internet for Kshs. 999 when they don’t have the capacity to handle that much usage? Safaricom: Get your act together and style up! Provide what you offer or don’t offer it at all

Rave: Ooohhhh I am RAVING about my all-time favorite chocolate: Old Jamaica. Trust me when I tell you that it’s a bar of delicious goodness. Yum! For some reason unknown to me, I stopped indulging in this old favorite until my recent re-discovery of my dear old friend. Let me put it this way: Old Jamaica gets you kiss-ready in no time. Nuff said

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Welcome to Mia’s Diary. I’m super excited to be collaborating and contributing to The Lily Review. This is going to be fun; at least that’s the plan, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Since this is our first meeting, I thought it’d be great to start with some R&R. One of the things that we do on a daily basis is talk about something or someone or someplace. Sometimes, we rave – speak in a positive light – (like when a Matatu charges you 30bob to “tao ndani” and then actually does take you tao ndani) and other times, we’re pissed off (e.g. like when Uchumi displaces its product and then attempts to sell it to you but for the higher price and then refuses to refund the difference. Major Rant!)

I would love to hear your rants and raves for the day, week, month and year in the comments. Basically, wewe sema tu! Just come over and tell me all about it. For my part, I’ll also contribute my rants and raves, and somewhere in between, I’ll also be talking about random but interesting things. Before we can move on, here are a few pledges:

1. I pledge to do my due diligence and keep up with you all on a weekly basis
2. I pledge to do my best to respond to each comment so keep them coming, hata kama it’s a rant ama a rave
3. I pledge to do my best to make this interesting and fun to read
4. I pledge to be honest; no corruption here
5. I pledge to stop pledging and start with my first R&R. Ready? Let’s go!

I hope you had a great start to the new year and great week to boot. My new year started out badly coz I lost my very cool, very awesome guuka but since we laid him to rest, the year is getting better. The week was uneventful but not without something to R&R about; I’ve two things to share…

Rant: I’m ranting about Uchumi in Buru. First, they placed the wrong product on the wrong isle. Next, they charged me for the wrong product at the higher price. Worse, once they confirmed that the mistake was theirs, they started giving me the runaround. They even told me that they wouldn’t give me the difference (ksh. 58!) and when I explained that they would give me back my money, they suggested I take a loaf of bread instead. Helloooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhoo, eventually, they did give me back my money but not before keeping me there for a long time unnecessarily, including having me talk to a customer service rep and a manager. Uchumi, that wasn’t cool. That’s not the way to treat a loyal customer.

Rave: This week I’m raving about a mat I pandad jana. They said “tao ndani” and for 30 bob. Guess what? They actually did go “tao ndani” and they didn’t pull any tricks. Considering how mats can do you wrong by taking you to sijui where, several km’s from the intended destination (that was me last week), I thought it’d be great for me to give them a shout-out. Sasa unfortunately I forgot to take down their name but I’ll keep an eye out and when I find out, I’ll let you guys know.

I’m dying to hear about what’s going on in your world, hata kama you’re in Kenya, America, Sri Lanka….wherever you are, share your rants and raves in the comments and if there are places or stores that we don’t know about, please elaborate.

Have a fantastic week ahead!

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