Category Archives: Lawrence’s Take
![My Smelly Princess [Part 2]](http://lily.co.ke/files/2010/07/mobile-in-hand-150x150.jpg "My Smelly Princess [Part 2]")
“You know what your problem is Lawrence!? You are too proud!!” “Really!? Because the last time I checked you were a stubborn disrespectful bitch!!” “What!!!? You have two seconds to get out of here or else I swear to Bazuzu!! One…Two..” This was probably the tenth fight that Daisy and I were having in a span of just two months. We were so close to clearing one year since we started going out (a first time feat for me). For some obscure reason, we were going through a very passionate phase of our relationship. The… Continue reading →
It was exactly 7:03 am. I remember clearly because the events that followed that random glance at my watch left quite an indelible mark on me. It was a Monday morning, the June weather as chilly as never before. I barricaded myself within the confines of my scarf, desperately trying to cover as much of my lanky frame as possible. It wasn’t working. That’s when I lifted my can’t-we-just-go gaze from the overly zealous conductor, to the area beyond my malfunctioned window. My eyes instantly landed on the first inspiring phenomenon I had seen that… Continue reading →
![Of Men vs Women [Part 4]](http://lily.co.ke/files/2010/06/silver-purse-150x150.jpg "Of Men vs Women [Part 4]")
Its one of those Wednesdays. Shirley is busy packing her numerous belongings into her hand bag while bidding her colleagues good evening. She often thinks of quitting this Bank Teller job, but some days stand out more than most. Like today for instance. It takes 4 days for a cheque to mature! Simple and Clear. So why would a grown up man, bring his ugly face to the bank two days later!? As if that’s not enough, claim that the bank is too slow, and try to debate bank policy with her, a mere bank… Continue reading →
I am not one to kiss and tell, so if anyone, especially Daisy, ever asks if we had this conversation, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. I will deny and swear by my Great great grandfather’s grave that it wasn’t me. I have heard far too often that there is nothing like ‘deep friendship’ between boys and girls, men and women, males and females …you can finish off the list. Reason being very simple, as my good old friend Sigmund Freud says without flinching a muscle, it’s all about sex. If she is not my sister or first… Continue reading →
![Of Men vs Women [Part 3]](http://lily.co.ke/files/2010/04/go-slow-150x150.jpg "Of Men vs Women [Part 3]")
“This is just moving too fast! I mean, don’t get me wrong…I am glad I met you Lawrence…you are amazing…you have all these great qualities that I always wanted to have in my man…we have a lot of fun together…but…can we just take this a little slower?…” Then she pulls one of those girlish ‘woiiishee’ smiles that she knows drives me crazy. I’m not sure what to say to her. So I just sit there, feign an its-ok smile, tell her I understand, and keep stroking her stubborn hair strand. Truth is, I don’t understand… Continue reading →
![When we stare [Part 2]](http://lily.co.ke/files/2010/03/couple-silhouette-150x150.jpg "When we stare [Part 2]")
Christine was…well…different. As I discovered later, she wasn’t really in what you would consider the top cream of her class – if by class you meant from an academic perspective. She derived her reputation from ‘leading men astray’ as my priest would put it. I found her particularly skinny but she spared no efforts at squeezing her body into the skimpiest of school skirts, often to the administration’s chagrin. I briskly followed Jack who appeared to be in a peculiar hurry to get things over with. Our short trip led us to a darker section… Continue reading →
If you had the option of choosing what precise moment you prefer to die, what would your choice be? Most of us would probably say just after going for confession. Let’s face it; none of us likes the idea of paying for our sins, right? Sins by definition are everything your mama and your pastor or priest have told you not to do, but which for some obscure reason appear infinitely more appealing than the good deeds. But what to do? It is what it is, right? Ok, enough of that. One of the Sins… Continue reading →
The season of giving is finally here! Well, at least for me. A time to sow what I shall hopefully reap before Christmas comes around. Boy, do I dread Valentine’s Day. I’m not much of a genius when it comes to relationships and romance. This probably explains why I have never in my dating life, celebrated two consecutive Valentines with the same love bird. Of course when my friends inquire about this statistic, I proudly declare that there are too many bird species in the wild for me to hold on to one for too… Continue reading →
![Of Men vs Women [Part 2]](http://lily.co.ke/files/2010/01/knight-on-a-horse-150x150.jpg "Of Men vs Women [Part 2]")
Kamau is attracted to a woman named Diana. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Diana, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” “Really!?”… Continue reading →
A cynical friend of mine, whose company I have to endure every once in a while due to social obligations, bears strong convictions against the whole assortment of religious beliefs, and most notably Christian beliefs. In his self proclaimed wisdom, humans have an insatiable need to feel important and wanted. He says this explains every human act, much like the Freudian theory about human behavior and sex, but that’s a story for another day. You see, my cynical friend has concocted a conspiracy theory, in which he claims that a very brilliant mind realized at… Continue reading →