Category Archives: Lawrence’s Take

2011 Chronicles – Musings of a lost Soul

2011 Chronicles – Musings of a lost Soul

My Mother told me to marry a girl who is neither too beautiful that she bewitches, and not too ugly that she twitches. Wise words. I am 27, single (yes, again) and of middle class financial standing. Life is not going according to plan. Back in my campus days, when I had my whole future staring at me (to quote a certain lecturer), I made a vow that I would make my first million at 25. In fact, it was a pact between my roommate and I. He isn’t a millionaire either, but Tim (remember… Continue reading →

A kick in the balls!

A kick in the balls!

“You kicked him in the balls!!? Ouch!” “Yea I did! I don’t even know where I got the courage to but one moment he was grabbing me by the neck, next moment he was on the ground writhing in pain” “Daaamn girl! That was something. If we had more girls like you there’d be a lot less mugging on our streets” “Ha ha ha! Probably.” This must have been our third or fourth date I’m not sure. Kanji is a conversationalist, and not the gibberish type, I’m talking quality conversation. The kind that leaves you… Continue reading →

The Rebound

The Rebound

Oh, don’t we all just Love the rebound? The moment in Limbo between a wonderfully great romantic odyssey and the ‘moving on’, during which you simply let go and let loose. The marvelous blend of scum berg, complete a**hole, freaky dare devil, reckless nincompoop and awesomely funny potato head is something of a master piece. You see, the rebound comes after three stages. It’s that one last stage before you finally recover from the grand breakup that got you down this road in the first place. STAGE 1 – WHY, WHY, OOOOOH WHHHHHYYY!!!! For me… Continue reading →

The One

The One

Kevin met Kate on Facebook. They exchanged inbox messages for a while before finally planning an actual date. Two years later, Kevin and Kate got married in a beautiful garden wedding in Naivasha. I attended that wedding. Kiptum had met Wanjaa several times before but he didn’t really pay her much thought. At the time he was in a committed relationship with another girl from his church. Three years later, he met Wanjaa again at a camping trip that had been organized by one of his friends. He had just broken up with his Girlfriend… Continue reading →

I’m Single Again!

I’m Single Again!

Aloha my dear readers. Allow me to apologize for my brief absence from this lovely blog. Did you miss me? I sure did miss sharing my life’s drama with strangers. Why I choose to put my private life into the public domain I still don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s my subconscious innate desire for screaming from the roof top, “F*@k My Love Life!!!” Well, I can’t do that. Not only would it rub off badly with my neighbors, but the after taste of making a fool of myself in public doesn’t sound alluring at… Continue reading →

My Smelly Princess [Part 3]

My Smelly Princess [Part 3]

Daisy is one insightful girl. It’s one of her most endearing qualities, and often times, her main source of headaches. How I forgot this little fact I still don’t know. Friday evenings would typically be either movie nights, game nights or a combination of both. It had always been an unfair arrangement since we would both retire at the wee hours of the morning yet I had to report to work on Saturdays, while she didn’t. I really didn’t mind it though. For a whole week, I had been trying to figure out the best way to tell my… Continue reading →

My Smelly Princess [Part 2]

My Smelly Princess [Part 2]

“You know what your problem is Lawrence!? You are too proud!!” “Really!? Because the last time I checked you were a stubborn disrespectful bitch!!” “What!!!? You have two seconds to get out of here or else I swear to Bazuzu!! One…Two..” This was probably the tenth fight that Daisy and I were having in a span of just two months. We were so close to clearing one year since we started going out (a first time feat for me). For some obscure reason, we were going through a very passionate phase of our relationship. The… Continue reading →

My Smelly Princess

My Smelly Princess

It was exactly 7:03 am. I remember clearly because the events that followed that random glance at my watch left quite an indelible mark on me. It was a Monday morning, the June weather as chilly as never before. I barricaded myself within the confines of my scarf, desperately trying to cover as much of my lanky frame as possible. It wasn’t working. That’s when I lifted my can’t-we-just-go gaze from the overly zealous conductor, to the area beyond my malfunctioned window. My eyes instantly landed on the first inspiring phenomenon I had seen that… Continue reading →

Of Men vs Women [Part 4]

Of Men vs Women [Part 4]

Its one of those Wednesdays. Shirley is busy packing her numerous belongings into her hand bag while bidding her colleagues good evening. She often thinks of quitting this Bank Teller job, but some days stand out more than most. Like today for instance. It takes 4 days for a cheque to mature! Simple and Clear. So why would a grown up man, bring his ugly face to the bank two days later!? As if that’s not enough, claim that the bank is too slow, and try to debate bank policy with her, a mere bank… Continue reading →

Is it just me?

Is it just me?

I am not one to kiss and tell, so if anyone, especially Daisy, ever asks if we had this conversation, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. I will deny and swear by my Great great grandfather’s grave that it wasn’t me. I have heard far too often that there is nothing like ‘deep friendship’ between boys and girls, men and women, males and females …you can finish off the list. Reason being very simple, as my good old friend Sigmund Freud says without flinching a muscle, it’s all about sex. If she is not my sister or first… Continue reading →

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