If you and your friends get together once a week to catch up, order some fast food and play online games or watch a movie, but you’re sick of your pals teasing you for picking out the one slice of tomato or limp piece of lettuce you always get in your burger, then you are sure to be interested in the fun and tasty recipe ideas below.

Potatoes
Rather than just eating a boring jacket potato with beans or a potato salad, why not make your potatoes into spicy wedges? Simply slice up a potato, sprinkle it with paprika, chilli powder and cayenne pepper, then bake in the oven until they are crispy. Delicious, healthy and one of your five-a-day.

Bananas
If you aren’t too keen on eating bananas – other than in a banana split – then why not make a fruit smoothie? Simply place a banana, a splash of milk and some ice cubes into a blender and blitz until you have a creamy banana smoothie. If you have a sweet tooth, why not add a spoonful of cocoa powder to make a chocolate banana smoothie, or even a spoon of peanut butter and honey?

Spinach
This superfood is a great source of iron and vitamins so why not make butter and garlic wilted spinach side dish? Simply fry a clove of garlic in a tiny bit of butter before adding some spinach and letting it wilt.

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Well, it is known that ambition can creep as well as soar.”
Edmund Burke

‘When I grow up I want to conquer the world, I’ve got to have my own job, my own car, and my own crib. I’ve got to be my own woman, totally independent.’ A group of young girls at a teenage workshop made these strong statements. It exhilarated me to see the determination that these young women had. Despite my support for their enthusiasm at living fruitful lives, it got my mind wondering of the older generation. Women who have stood up and taken a chance at conquering the world.

Nowadays, the issue of gender no longer takes precedence in our social debates. When it does, it is not an eye catcher as it used to be back then. When I was growing up, women took up to the streets demanding for their rights and equal treatment as their male counter parts. With time, things have changed and today’s world is easily settling down to the idea of a modern woman. She can do just as much as any man can do. She has become a breadwinner, a leader in all contexts. Be it in politics, religion, academics, and the world of business. She walks shoulder high and exhumes great confidence, takes on the world without any inhibitions; she is surely living up her newly found status.

We might want to be fully independent as women, but we want love and companionship too. We want a beautiful world where we find compatible partners who support and grow together with us. Some of us are lucky to find such men but the majority of us have quite a different story to tell. A part of the male population is still intimidated by the idea of a strong and ambitious woman. The sight of any signs of ambition spells insecurities leading to them, scramming to dark corners.

“Hush babie hush”, such has been the response given by most insecure men in a bid to quell their spouses sprouting horns off ambition.

Catherine, a middle-aged woman has been married to her husband for almost five years now. Though she is a working woman, she still feels like she needs to do more with her life. She wants to achieve and accomplish her full potential. So, having thought it through and convinced that putting up her own business was the way to go, she set out to share her thoughts with John. Excited and greatly anticipating the birth of a new venture, she did so and to her disbelief, she was not quite prepared for the response that hit her.

“You know, there is no way you can come up with enough capital, and babie, you know you cannot do this. Don’t you have your job?” Said her hubby. She was completely dumbfounded. Wasn’t this the man meant to urge her on, and help her overcome any obstacles? What was she supposed to say to him now? Her closest source of support was only concerned with whether she really had enough capital for start up. He kept on and on but Catherine was lost to everything he said. Her husband wanted her satisfied with her job and taking care of their kids. On the verge of tears, she tells me of how she had nodded and sworn not to bring up the subject again. And just like that, like a rose withers and dies, Catherine’s dream was crushed and smothered into tiny inconceivable little pieces. I guarantee you that this experience is not any exceptional. Dreams of most ambitious women suffer the same inconceivable fate.

Emotional beings as we are, we hold on to what is familiar to us and choose to stick to the fate that has been handed to us by our spouses. Because, when it comes down to it we don’t want to lose our husbands, let alone our kids.

Why do we really have to succumb to this fate? Ambitious women love life, they are bubbly and happy, challenged by situations and determined to conquer any inhibitions. Like any other woman, all they want from their spouses is love and support. They want their men to be a part of their life’s adventures. They want them to feel loved and accepted for who they are and not threatened by them. Is it really necessary to clip our sprouting wings for us as women, to achieve happiness? Is it really the only way to go?

Most women like Catherine when faced with such criticism from their spouses let their ideas die while others inspired and fueled to succeed continue on and hold a burning candle for their dreams.

Kay, now a manager of her own business says that it is not easy to face an insecure husband, especially one threatened by your ambitions.”It was tough knowing that my husband was not being supportive but I chose to go ahead and make my dream come true. “He felt that with my success I would be no longer reachable, that I would not have time for him and most especially that I would get to interact with a lot of men in my line of work.” She says. Despite her efforts to assure him of her sincerity, he seemed relentless. Kay made a decision not to mention it to him again and kept building her ideas secretly. And ten years now, she is happy and successful but unfortunately, her marriage isn’t.

They say that behind every successful man is a great woman, but pray tell me why it can never be the other way round. That behind every successful woman is a great man.

I know something though, that you might not have figured out yet. That, no man lacking in ambition wants an ambitious woman around. All a man wants is someone they can pat on the shoulder and nudge forward, someone ready to stretch out their hands and look up to them like gods and beg for their help. You can imagine what happens when such a man is faced by a woman who wants her own. They either hit back physically or sip at your emotions and then act the victim. They play around with your own insecurities and manipulate your every move.

It’s sad though, that most women are not ready to stand up for their dreams. We took the step to fight for recognition as equals to our male counterparts. So then, what are we doing letting men trample on us. For what are we in our relationships when all we feel is suffocated and enclosed in a tight vacuum? We must realize that no happiness comes before our own. And that to venture successfully in anything we must satisfy our own hearts first.

Take a look around, at that female personality that you look up to. Think of the many women that have made it and from their lives take a leaf. What we learn every day, is that we are a creation of utter magnificence and to look down on ourselves, let alone letting others prey on us is not just an injustice to ourselves but also a lack of respect for our creator.

Author: Jecinta Githaiga
Bio: I live in Nairobi and love writing. I write about women’s lives and issues in the modern world. My hopes are to inspire and enlighten Kenyan women into being exceptional beings.

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According to her, they (including the baby) had not had anything to eat for about 2 days. Do you know that feeling you get when you have gone without lunch? Now imagine what that baby was feeling. So she came up with an “innovative” idea to end the misery, she decided she was going to wake up very early the next morning and throw her baby in the river. Needless to say, the baby died out of shock immediately it hit the water. (If you were brought up in Nairobi, I feel I should inform you that river water is extremely cold in the morning) Like I said, she had the mind of a child. She didn’t even consider how she was going to explain her baby’s disappearance to the villagers who of course knew she had a new born baby. I mean, even those who didn’t know she had a baby must have seen her pregnant; 9 months is a long time.

Am sure you are all wondering what this has got to do with Kenyan men. I’m I the only one who attended that Biology class where they taught us that for a baby to be formed, sperm must fertilize an egg? So where was this particular sperm donor when his baby who was just a few weeks old was going hungry for two days? I’ll tell you where this guy was. He was at the local bar having some ugali matumbo and keg declaring his sexual prowess to everyone at the bar just incase they hadn’t heard him the previous day! Is this what our Kenyan Men have become?

Every woman knows that no matter how many birth control pills you stuff into your mouth every morning; there is always the chance that you could get pregnant. But Kenyan men have developed this mentality that they can go around having sex without having to face the consequences. These days when you get pregnant, you don’t even bother telling the man. You just get rid of it or go away to your grandma’s place to have the child. I think the new constitution had a clause that attempted to force Kenyan men to take responsibility for their sperm. (I don’t know. I didn’t read it) However, just in case it is a figment of my imagination, I think this law is long overdue.

In addition to this, I think there should be a law on statutory rape. Men who think it is funny to sleep with under-aged girls should be dealt with harshly.

Image credit: ahylton

Author Bio: Eve is a freelance writer who has been in love with writing since childhood. To this day she spends her leisure time either reading or writing. Her latest project is a blog at www.kenyandating.co.cc

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From romantic safaris to the lovely Kenyan Villas and the all unique colonial lodges, Kenya has what it takes to accord you a honeymoon like no other, and don’t forget the picturesque scenery that will drive your love to a blend of laughter and memories to make your union hot and alive even long after your honeymoon.

Some of the places worth enlisting in your Kenya Honeymoon calendar include the Maasai Mara, Samburu Buffalo Springs plus lakes like Bogoria, Nakuru and Baringo. You can also visit a number of national parks including the Nairobi National Park where you will see a number of indigenous game like the Black Rhino which lives in the park throughout the year. Almost all small lodges and camps in Kenya have special honeymoon tents with maximum privacy plus personalized services.

Lamu is hailed as one of the best honeymoon destinations in Kenya; it is calm with enough beaches and nice people with a rich culture. If one of the rules you have set out for your honey money is a vehicle-free environment then you will have it all in Lamu; you will use luxury dhows and donkeys to make your movements around. Sailing around Lamu mangroves and archipelago will open you to a natural world of irresistible happiness-the experience is purely natural.

Traveling from Mombasa to Lamu is a moment you just need to test; stop in the smaller towns and buy food from the local shops and vendors along the way-this is where you get a chance to interact and say Jambo or Habari (meaning “how are you doing?”). You will have fun as the locals explode into laughter when they discover that you are struggling to bring out the Swahili words!

Article by Linda Akware, is a certified wedding consultant at the Kenya Wedding Centre.

Image credit: Wikipedia

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Whether you prefer a one piece or a two-piece, you can find a style that fits your figure. If you are an avid swimmer, you will feel more comfortable with a one-piece bathing suit. Therefore, consider the type of activity as well. Always go for fabrics that can stretch and give you some support, as well as breathable fabrics. Some bottoms are too loose and will keep riding up, no matter if they are the right size.

One great solution is to buy separates that you can mix and match. Some women have problems finding a swimsuit in a size that will fit well top and bottom; however, if you choose separates you can find the perfect fit. You might wear one size on top and another at the bottom; this is common with pear shape women.

If you are small on top, separates will benefit you as well, but stick with a top that has some padding, and lift to enhance your bust. Bandeau tops look good on women with smaller busts only; if you have a big bust try to avoid a bandeau top. In addition, if you are heavy on top, you will need to wear an underwire top for lift and support. Look for one piece that will enhance your cleavage and offer support, especially if it ties in the back of your neck. Tops that have thin straps might not work well for the full figure woman as they will not offer the needed support, and may contribute to a saggy bust look. Keep the straps as wide as you can, sporty tank tops offer great support. Match it to a cute bottom and you are set for the beach.

When choosing a bathing suit it is all about balancing how your figure looks. Women who want to conceal a tummy may benefit from pieces that have built in tummy control fabric, and a waist enhancement such as scrunched fabric. One-piece styles will flatter best.

If you want to create the illusion of longer legs, try a high cut bottom, use fabrics that lengthen the silhouette such as vertical stripes, and try to wear a top that will get the attention away from the bottom part. Women with long legs can try horizontal stripes and a bottom that has a skirt or ruffles. Avoid anything that will lengthen your legs or torso more, such as vertical lines. A balance can be found with short style bottoms or a connected two-piece that looks like a one piece, but is open at the sides.

Overall, play with different fabrics and styles until you feel the one that balances your body.

Image credit: nruboc

Author: Hannah Derrah
Bio: Hannah is a hardworking freelance writer that enjoys her spare time by getting herself in her beachwear and having some fun in the sun.

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May be the reason why people walk up to you and tell you that you look familiar is because you have featured in their dreams. Most likely as an extra and not as the main feature because if you were the main feature they would not be vague when they approach you, like they try so hard to remember your name and where they know you from.

And how does this dreams thing work anyway? I thought that dreams filter from the sub-conscious meaning that if someone came and said to you that they saw you for the first time and you were the person of their dreams would that be an oxymoron?

Further exploring on this issue of dreams, if someone once said to you that you were the boy/girl of their dreams then they left you with a broken heart what does that mean? Could it mean:

• They woke up before the dream was over so they did not get a chance to see how the dream would end
• They have dreamt about it ending and so they were enjoying it while it lasts

And what is so special about being somene’s person of their dreams? People usually sleep after a hard day’s work and are semi-dead when they are asleep so what effort did they put in dreaming about you?

How about they tell you that you are the person of their hard work or the person of their passion or even the person of their pursuit…hehehe…very unromantic I know but practical all the same. I guess there is a reason why some of the things we say to the people of of dreams are termed as ‘sweet-nothings‘ very impractical words put together and how does one become a person of another’s dreams when the same person who is meant to be dreaming tells you ‘I can’t sleep because of you‘, ‘I cant eat because of you‘, etc. How do you dream and not sleep at the same time? Day-dream perhaps? Then you would not be the person of their hardwork because they are busy daydreaming instead of working. Then in the end you say you never saw the red flags earlier. Look, red flags and red tents all over.

I promise I will write better next time

Author: Shiro Renee
Bio: I love to read but am not a very regular writer

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Over the years the boot has evolved, and once worn out of necessity has become a fashion item in our wardrobes. Boots come in various materials, shapes and sizes but over the years there have been three main designs of the boot: knee length, ankle length and thigh length.

At least one in every five women owns a pair or pairs of boots, but we tend to wear them all wrong or not wear them at all because we are confused on what to pair them up with. Here are a few tips on which boot to wear with what.

Ankle length boots
These kinds of boots are best worn with skinny jeans especially if they round toe or sharp pointed. The box shaped ones can be paired up with a pair of formal office pants. Another way to wear this kind of boots is to wear them with short skirt/ dress (just above the knee) paired with black or opaque tights.

Ankle length boots are however not suitable for short people as the make calves appear thicker and legs shorter.

Knee length boots
This is probably the best boot design and with very few limitations. They can be worn with skinny jeans, best over skinny jeans. They can also be worn with skirts and dresses both long and short. They also look very chic and sexy when worn with shorts paired with stockings for that night out.

However you should avoid wearing the knee length boots with baggy clothing as it creates a ballooning effect and I’m sure no woman wants that.

Thigh high boots
This is a design full of controversy and you are sure to get a few heads turning when wearing them. Thigh high boots have long been associated so much with dominatrix and eroticism, but that should not stop you from wearing them.

The best way to wear them is to pair them with shorts or over skinny jeans. However, to look best in them, buy those that go just above the knee not the kind that go all the way to the waist, as they may send out the wrong message.

Taking all those tips into consideration, wear your boots the right way and stop doing so much injustice to this timeless shoe.

Author: Njoki Kiunga
Bio: I am a 21 old college graduate who loves fashion. Iam always on the look out for fashion crimes and I love to correct them where I can.

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Although we like talking about freedom of expression and freedom of dressing sometimes we go beyond boundaries and end up looking clueless when it comes to dressing sexy. Just because you saw it on a window of a boutique and loved it, it doesn’t mean that it fits.

Now that I am talking about cleavage, I also have a big problem with ‘butt’ cleavage; I fail to understand why anyone in their right mind would walk around showing off their lower cleavage. It’s funny how we are convinced that we look good in those low rise jeans, yet walking in them is a problem. You cannot even pick up anything or sit down without showing off your cleavage.

It does not matter if you look like Beyonce’s twin or Jennifer Lopez’s long lost cousin, strutting your stuff along the busy streets of Nairobi, but so long as your butt ‘crack’ I mean cleavage is showing, you don’t look so good.

Just because it looks goods on the model in the fashion magazine, and you saw it in the shop’s window display, doesn’t mean it fits, so please don’t try to squeeze yourself in jeans or tops/dresses that are a size smaller. ‘No one will notice’ we like to convince each other or ourselves, but some things like cleavage spillage cannot go unnoticed , especially if they are parts which define the WOMAN.

Next time you go shopping make sure you buy clothes which fit, ask for an opinion from your friends and look at yourself at the mirror. As a friend give honest opinions, be your sisters keeper, and with the right fitting clothes you will definitely get glances for all the right reasons.

By Njoki Kiunga. Njoki is a 21 year old lady just graduated from college. She loves fashion and is always on the look out for people committing crimes of fashion and loves to correct them where she can.

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One of the Presidential Residences of the late Omar Bongo

The problem with Africa is not its dictators who own limousines when their citizens need to carry a sack of money to buy a loaf of bread, if it is even there. The PROBLEM with Africa is not with the West, with its double-edged sword of grants; money to buy food and weapons while they buy blood diamonds from our rich mines. Some say the poor ones are the problem, maybe we should just get rid of them, lift them out of poverty or kill them off by starving them; but they are too many in Africa. In addition, it may be a problem when it comes time to plough the farms that grow our endless feasts of cake and burnt flesh. The real problem is not with the ten percent who own eighty percent of Africa, they did what anyone would or could in their situation.

Who is the problem? If you are reading this, then you are the problem. You and I my friend ARE THE PROBLEM. There you go dousing yourselves with wine and homegrown beer, driving your second hand car or you modest Toyota to the next weekend party or music festival; such are the cares of the petit bourgeoisie. The oppressors are smart; they have you so consumed in wanting to be like them, wanting to wear the latest clothes from the exhibitions or their cast off clothes, joking with your friends about the last time you got wasted. Wasted! Yes you are wasted! So wasted by consumerism and functional alcoholism…tequila sunrise anyone?

Our brothers and sisters die for want of a meal, we die for want of the common sense not to drink and drive; the petit bourgeoisie have many problems my friends. What problems you ask? Taxes, rent and wages for the poor folk that we employ in our homes to clean our clothes, cook our meals, take out our trash and raise our brats. We have many problems, we the petit bourgeoisie, so forgive us if we don’t take to the streets when the oppressors steal our money or raise taxes (same difference many might say). We’ll leave that to the masses, they have the time, they have nothing to loose, for they own nothing. We don’t own everything, but we have bills to pay, land to buy, jobs to go to the next morning. The masses can fight for themselves.

The funny thing is my friend, that the masses will fight us at some point, for we are closer to them than the oppressors. The problem is that we are not protected by anything owned by the oppressors; the police serve the monarchs, the army has its allegiances, the devil has his slaves and religion serves its followers only.

We are blessed with opportunity as well as some semblance of integrity, somewhere deep inside, swirling in the pool of tequila and vodka that numbs our souls. Don’t shut your eyes, don’t stand back and watch Africa go to the dogs my friends, because if it does, we will too. We must look, we must speak out, we must act; small acts like paying your workers fair wages, or signing petitions, or writing blogs, or just saying “No!” to the problems of Africa. If we are part of the problem, then lets start with ourselves and open our eyes, as we down our last shot of tequila.

By TKO

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At first the dinner thing appeared to be really nice and empty of any weird thoughts (wait for it..), until I got up to get more cups from the kitchen and that our host followed me to gossip a bit. She by the way slipped in a couple of words about the Pakistani mother who was looking for a bride to her son, and joked about how she had lied to the woman who had asked her if she knew someone, while she actually knew me! This last part of the statement made me laugh, briefly, and then got me thinking of the expectations of a young Muslim girl’s family, still traditional even in our era.

Back to dinner, I had previously made the mistake of sitting next to the Pakistani mother; She asked about my studies, and I thought she was just interested in what a young girl could be doing with her life, and I was proud to let her know about it..She had a totally different perspective apparently; later on, i learned that the two and a half years that were left for me to graduate, were a bit too much for her and her son to wait.

Meanwhile, my mother also managed to explain to me that all the story telling and question asking from the Pakistani mother, was in the purpose of getting to know me, because she had a “fiancé” for me. My mom was quite thrilled, although you could tell she was fighting it and trying to hide it-it did not work. I could tell, because all of a sudden, she had forgotten about the serious talk that we were supposed to have when we get back home.

So in brief, Pakistani mother, in less than two hours, decides that I could be wife-material for her beloved son who works in Dubai, only if I was a year older. In less than two hours, I had a spot on her option list, then I got ditched, due to age reasons. To my mother, I had become a pride material. Suddenly, I was in the center of all the discussions (my mom studied communication..), a talented, well behaved young girl, ready to marry mommy’s son.

It all made me laugh-think, how both women made assumptions, conclusions and plans for two people who haven’t seen each other before, and who will probably never do so. It made me think that women at heir age begin to live in a dream land; not the Cinderella kind of dreamland, but more like a place where they could make all the decisions, and realize all their fantasies with no limits. The sad part about it is that I thought that my mom, as a highly educated woman, had other perspectives on marriage; I was wrong, she thought exactly like the sixty year old Pakistani woman who did an arranged marriage.

I must say that I am really lucky, because eventhough my mom is traditional (I never knew about it until yesterday!! it’s about time..), I know her and my father will still let me choose when it comes to that kind of matters, but I do worry about all the other girls out there, who do not have a say in their own lives. I don’t think I could become a feminist-activist, but I do think that girls should become their own activists, say no when they need to, without fearing the results, and falling for their families’ threats to a life in hell and eternal punishment from god. Total BS.

Author: LaLoca Coca
Bio: I am an International Relations student at USIU, I like to write about relationships, fashion and politics. I like the freedom that writing gives me to be able to criticize, analyze and share situations and stories from different fields of life.

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With over two thousand self help books being published around the world every year, there is a plethora of books available for women needing relationship advice. Some of them are fabulous, some are indifferent and others are positively harmful.

The titles of some of the very popular books range from blunt ones like ‘Catch him and Keep him’, and ‘What every woman must know about her man’ to more subtle titles like ‘Capturing the heart of Mr. Right’, and ‘The good wife’s guide’.

Each of these books promise you tips on how to have your man eating off your palm, how to get him to sign on the dotted line …and the list goes on. And if you have been ruined by all the self help books you have read before, the next one promises to change that by offering you ‘tried and tested success tips’.

But as you begin to read on, the self proclaimed relationship gurus fill your head with an array of ideas and soon you are throwing out your cook-books because you are learning that apparently,  unlike what our mothers had us believe, the way to a man’s heart has nothing to do with his stomach.

That simple rule that had promised you the gate pass to a happily-ever- after with your mister right in exchange for  your steaming home cooked meals, is quickly nullified and in its place you are left with thousands of do’s and don’ts to master.

But how do you master all these relationship rules and regulations and simultaneously pay attention to your relationship?

It pains me even more to realize that there aren’t as many books for men, teaching them about women, as there are for women teaching us about men.  Either our brothers have already figured out what we want and how to give it to us (or how to and get away with not giving it to us) or they know better than to look for pointers from ‘experts’ who get served with divorce papers as soon as their books hit the bookstores.

The truth is; many things come with a user’s guides but relationships are not one of them.  That’s probably because we do not need the user’s guides to help us understand and co-exist with our male counterparts.

Unlike what the self proclaimed relationship gurus may like to have you believe, men are not from mars and women are not from Venus. We are all from earth and we can figure each other out so deal with it.

Another fact is that all men are not the same, and coming up with one manual that fits all is overwhelmingly unrealistic.

Every relationship is unique and has its unique circumstances. The trick is to understand your partner and know what makes him tick, and the real fun in any relationship is in figuring that out. So do not let the relationship ‘experts’ take the fun away by mapping out your relationship for you and telling you what turn to take at every single crossroad.

Trying to manipulate your partner using time tested theories and ideologies is a perfect recipe for disaster. Instead, spend time with your partner and get to know each other. Explore your partner’s personality and find out what upsets him and what cheers him up. And when the tough times come- and they definitely will- figure out a solution together.

Remember that no amount of third party assistance will fix your relationship. The marriage counselors and the relationship experts were not there when your man was tuning you. Only the two of you know how it all begun and only the two of you can figure out what works best for you.

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As have all of you, I too have lost friends I thought were for life. Some of these losses could have been avoided and others were tragic. But the most painful losses are those that have cost you time and energy. Time and energy you spent dashing off to help a stranded friend in distress. What kind of distress? A puncture, an accident or a bad date. Time and energy you spent, buying Nandos chicken and milkshakes and pigging out while watching a chick flick because your friend was sad.

In truth, we all hide our true selves deep down in the core. That’s because we’re afraid of being judged too harshly, of being rejected. This is the ultimate fear. We all want to be loved, to be valued, to be missed when we leave the physical realm.

So why then can’t we just be honest people. From the word go, so as to prevent being rejected after 2 years of friendship. To prevent being called fake and bitchy (can I say that on here??).

Psychologically, we judge to save cognitive space. If you see a lady on Arwings Kodhek Road in nothing longer than a belt for a skirt, we judge her as a lady of the night. She may very well be one. But she might also have children to raise, as well as siblings to look after. She may be a tax-paying, law abiding accountant by day, and a twilight girl by night in an effort to secure her dream home by the time she’s 30. She may also be a lost, under valued soul, who was molested as a child and therefore has always equated sex as love.

Truth be told, ladies are often mean to each other and I will never understand this competitiveness. Because ladies, you are all beautiful and unique. We as women are the nurtures as well as the leaders that make this world what it is. In the bedroom and in the boardroom.

So let’s refrain from judging at face value and stand together as the fierce and loving individuals we are.

By Sophie Muchina

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