Being a woman is hard. Ask any woman.

I know this because I am one.

We are emotional, loving, caring, tough, nurturing, strong, beautiful, complicated beings…hardly a simple combination. We cry, laugh, shop, talk for hours, eat, try on clothes, clean, cook, work and try to stay sane.

We fight, love, care, seek and try to please everyone.

Somewhere in each woman is a little girl who never got over the beauty of a rainbow, pretty butterflies and flowers. The little girl in her seeks to be beautiful, noticed and loved. It’s true of every woman.

Truth be told, though, many women are hardly these things. Deep down they are, but on the surface, they are tough. They are unemotional. And they couldn’t careless about the colors of the rainbow.

The problem came in when we were born in a world that is hardly a paradise. In an ideal world, women would be the lovely, captivating creatures lovingly nurturing their children and heaping love on her spouse, because she is satisfied and knows she is loved. And she would be secure in her femininity, creating beauty wherever she went ,and not trying to be a tough cookie…because she wasn’t made to be. Her man was supposed to be the tough one, and I’m not saying women aren’t tough…they are incredibly strong and can go through unbelievably hard times and come out victorious and even stronger. I mean the tough exterior, the manliness. The “I-can-do-anything-and-will-get-there-no-matter-who-i-hurt” attitude. Continue Reading »

A phenomenon that I have always heard about recently came knocking at my door. I never used to believe the “rumors” that guys go to church to look for nice Christian girls to marry or date or whatever, well, that was until it happened to me.

See, I am your average church girl. I grew up in church, I go to church, I am involved in church, I talk about church…really, I am a church girl.

This is not necessarily a good thing, according to some. Family members and random acquaintances used to warn me…as much as you go to church, watch out for those church men.

Huh?

Why?

I have never dated one and the guys I have dated or “dated” have never been church guys. And granted, they were nothing to write home about, many hurt me and with many I found out we had nothing in common and nothing worth building a future on, after all the pixie dust and starry eyes had worn off and grown dim.

So what could be worse, church guys? I think not!

Anyway, so I met a church guy. Boy, was I excited! Finally I get to meet someone who speaks my language!

NOT! Continue Reading »

So girls, let’s have a heart to heart.

Why do we hate each other, spite each other and bring each other down?

Why do we use bad words on each other…the B word, the WH word, the S word?

We are all the same, we go through the same stuff, we have the same emotional make-up, we look pretty much the same inside…so shouldn’t we stick together?

Girl 1: “That B stole my boyfriend!”

Girl 2: “How could she? She just looks like something the cat dragged in anyway.”

Girl 1: “I gave her a piece of my mind though. I told her he will always be my man and I am going to get him back!”

Girl 2: “You go girl, let her know what she is messing with. That guy deserves better and that’s you.”

Hello?? Anything wrong with that conversation?? The MAN cheated on you. It’s more his fault than hers! Continue Reading »

Adultery.

We judge and sneer at those who indulge in it, but we haven’t been there…at least those of us who aren’t married. I watched (well, not the whole of it but nearly half of) a movie called Derailed starring Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen and I saw the reality of cheating. It’s so easy to look elsewhere when home is no longer a peaceful place to be and your spouse no longer the angel you married. People have problems….sick children who drain every ounce of energy from their parents making it nearly impossible for them to have any alone time together causing their marriage to suffer. Or when one spouse is always away working. Or for whatever reason because marriage is hard work.

So you meet someone, a chance meeting even. You click, he/she gets you. She/he likes the annoying music your spouse doesn’t like. He/she gets your sense of humour that your spouse has never appreciated. He/she is a breath of fresh air; a haven amidst all the drama in your life and family.

So, as a human being, what do  you do?

You pursue happiness. You want more than you can have. Continue Reading »

Lesson On Employment and Unemployment
So, having been in the School of Life for the past 6 months (i.e. out of school and out in the Big Bad World),  I have realised one thing…employment sucks, and unemployment sucks equally. Indulge me for a minute: Both have an equal number of pros and cons, even though they may not be very well-balanced.

When you are unemployed, you get to have free time to reflect on your life and where you want to be, your dreams that you had let go of, what you really want from life, etc. You get to relax and unwind and rediscover the beauty of nature and the songs of the birds. You notice when the walls at the back of the living room couches needs a good scrubbing. You hone your skills and talents because you are thinking like an entrepreneur, and you actually discover what you are good at. Continue Reading »

A Lesson On Heartbreak
I’m tired of hearing it:

• You will make a wonderful wife/girlfriend for some lucky guy
• Whoever you end up with will be one lucky guy
• Don’t worry, his loss…you will meet someone better
• You are an amazing woman and you will make some guy very happy

WHEN??????!

Granted, these statements have all come from guys I rejected who later moved on, and from well-meaning friends, but that is not the point. My point is, why is everyone hooking up and I’m not? Am I too choosy, too independent, too needy, too boring, too innocent, too wild,….and the list goes on. Continue Reading »

Recently I witnessed a most interesting sight. I was in the car with my mum and we were headed to town from somewhere quite suburban (read outskirts of Nairobi) where matatu drivers are even less courteous than those in the city centre, if that’s possible. We are used to matatus stopping in the middle of the road to pick or drop passengers, or just for the driver to enjoy the scenic view.

So it came as no surprise that one matatu was smack in the middle of the road as we were driving. The car ahead of us was being driven by a man who apparently could not take such behavior lying down. So he decided to firmly place his hand on the car horn and leave it resting there. This seemed to irk the matatu tout and the driver who of course did not move an inch. The man continued to hoot and finally drove up next to the matatu to hurl insults, I presume.

No sooner had he done this than a war of words (which I couldn’t hear, thankfully) ensued. The matatu driver proceeded to hit the man’s car with his fist several times. At this point I thought the driver of the saloon car would get out and start fighting, but he didn’t. After his car received several fist blows form the matatu driver, the matatu tout, who was on the road, opened the man’s passenger car door to challenge him to a duel or something. I don’t know what the man said but the tout proceeded to close the door and kick….yes, KICK the man’s car on the passenger side, several kicks by the way, some even on the passenger window. My mouth was agape all this time because I couldn’t believe the nerve! Continue Reading »

Ever been frustrated?
Frustration is when one the heels on your gorgeous shoes snaps off as you are walking elegantly on the street amidst admiring male glances and envious female ones, which quickly turn to ones of pity and amusement.

Frustration is when you are at the supermarket queue and one of your items is suddenly three times what you thought it was worth and you have to tell the cashier to deduct the item, causing hold-ups at the counter as the cashier calls the head cashier to unlock and enter some code thingamajig so he can deduct it. This is all amid sneers and snide comments from the shoppers on the queue behind you. Continue Reading »

“What’s with women and shoes?” a frequent question asked by my male friends.

Seriously?

How can they even ask that?!

The thing is, shoes define a woman. The classier, the better. The more unique, the more impressive. Hence the seemingly endless search for the perfect pair, and a tremendous accumulation of other near-perfect pairs in the process. Continue Reading »

Okay, actually this happens to me nearly everyday. Here is the typical scenario: A woman is patiently and innocently waiting for a matatu. Out of the blue, five touts come rushing toward her, seemingly from nowhere. She has barely been watching her surroundings; so lost is she in her own little world.

Suddenly she is grabbed by her arms, shoulders, hands, and even her poor tired legs. Her first thought: “Oh no! I’m being kidnapped! What was that I saw on CSI? Pepper spray…nope. Kick the attacker…” But alas! Her legs have been grabbed!

Slowly she snaps out of her reverie and hears: “Madam, thirty bob! Thirty bob!”. She cannot free herself from their grip. She ends up being dragged into the matatu with the strongest tout. Continue Reading »