This is another gem from another of my aunts (yeah, my aunts are better than yours!)
During my sister’s upcoming wedding preparations, the bridesmaids had a meeting with the beautician, who happens to be my aunt.

Ok, I have a confession to make. I never really did stick to my tried-and-true remedy for rashes. I am quite lazy when it comes to beauty treatments. I honestly can’t picture myself waking up an hour earlier than usual everyday to apply makeup and do all those things that women with perfectly flawless skin do to maintain their complexions (OK, for some it’s just their genes, show-offs!)

Anyway, of course this time I took the initiative to ask about some beauty treatments because I gotta look awesome for my sister’s wedding.

So my aunt had this to say
Apparently I have oily skin on my forehead hence the rashes. Thankfully, there were some other ladies with the same dilemma as I did, thank God. So what she would recommend (and it works, I’ve tried it; I just need to keep at it!) is: Read the rest of this entry →

Sometimes, when I am not too wrapped up in myself, I watch people; notice people. Sometimes, when I look really really closely, I see their eyes and what’s behind them. I notice their clothes, gait, expressions. Body language is the greatest whistle-blower.

I see a man, heavy laden, dragging a mkokoteni (hand cart) along a road filled with cars hooting at him for causing an even greater traffic jam, regardless of the fact that whether or not he was there, the traffic pile-up would reduce by, what, a centimetre? Anyway, the man’s body is young, but his face is filled with worry lines causing a grim expression way above his years. He looks hardened by life, like someone you would never want to meet on a deserted dark alley. But look behind his eyes.

Again I turn around and see a woman carrying a load on her head, one child strapped to her back and the other being dragged along by the hand. She is in a hurry, God knows where she is going with such haste. She moves mechanically, stops at a bus stage and comforts the fussing child she is carrying without even looking in its face. She disciplines the one whose hand she is holding without even thinking; its almost something second nature to her. Sighing, she gets  into the bus and sits, carrying both children and her load because she can’t afford to pay for an extra seat. She looks tough and ready to deal with whatever life throws at her. But look behind her eyes.

I’m in a rowdy matatu, passengers are being forced to sit in excess and being pangwad (arranged) like cabbages in a truck, and as we stop at a bus stop, I see a group of young men…rowdy youths by any outward appearance. They look like the famous Mungiki adherents, what with their rowdy jostling and loud laughter. They look up to no good and you almost wish a truck bearing the dreaded GSU would descend on them and have them removed from your line of sight in an instant. But this time, I look again. There is something behind their eyes that breaks my heart.

It’s desperation.

Henry David Thoreau wrote: “the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation“. How right he was. Everything behind their eyes is desperation. Read the rest of this entry →

So there you were, the two inseparable lovebirds, cooing at each other, stealing glances, barely keeping your hands off each other. You called each other 10 times a day “just because”. The sweet little gifts were exchanged and the sweet nothings whispered in each other’s ears.

Everyone around you was jealous and sick at the same time.

But, though you barely noticed it, it’s gone now. You can’t even remember the last time you missed him/her.

Or you met a kindred spirit. This girl understood you and finished your sentences. You had the same taste in clothing, movies, shoes, food. You knew who to call when you needed a shopping buddy or just to vent. You knew who to call when you both had no dates Friday night coz you could just hang out and have fun together.

So when did she start getting on your nerves? How come you never noticed how annoying she can be sometimes? How come you avoid hanging out with her nowadays and seek out other friends? What happened?

How about the girls from work? You carpool some evenings and sometimes go for drinks together after work. You catch up on office gossip and laugh at Bill from Accounting who hits on every creature in a skirt. You evaluate your monthly earnings and strategize on how you’re going to ask for a raise. You give each other tips on surviving office politics. You have intelligent conversations together. You’ve found other friends who you can relate to at work.

How then, did you start being jealous of each other? Why did you start noticing how Jenny is too close to her boss? When did you start turning on each other as if you’re all competing for the same prize? Read the rest of this entry →

Being a woman is hard. Ask any woman.

I know this because I am one.

We are emotional, loving, caring, tough, nurturing, strong, beautiful, complicated beings…hardly a simple combination. We cry, laugh, shop, talk for hours, eat, try on clothes, clean, cook, work and try to stay sane.

We fight, love, care, seek and try to please everyone.

Somewhere in each woman is a little girl who never got over the beauty of a rainbow, pretty butterflies and flowers. The little girl in her seeks to be beautiful, noticed and loved. It’s true of every woman.

Truth be told, though, many women are hardly these things. Deep down they are, but on the surface, they are tough. They are unemotional. And they couldn’t careless about the colors of the rainbow.

The problem came in when we were born in a world that is hardly a paradise. In an ideal world, women would be the lovely, captivating creatures lovingly nurturing their children and heaping love on her spouse, because she is satisfied and knows she is loved. And she would be secure in her femininity, creating beauty wherever she went ,and not trying to be a tough cookie…because she wasn’t made to be. Her man was supposed to be the tough one, and I’m not saying women aren’t tough…they are incredibly strong and can go through unbelievably hard times and come out victorious and even stronger. I mean the tough exterior, the manliness. The “I-can-do-anything-and-will-get-there-no-matter-who-i-hurt” attitude. Read the rest of this entry →

A phenomenon that I have always heard about recently came knocking at my door. I never used to believe the “rumors” that guys go to church to look for nice Christian girls to marry or date or whatever, well, that was until it happened to me.

See, I am your average church girl. I grew up in church, I go to church, I am involved in church, I talk about church…really, I am a church girl.

This is not necessarily a good thing, according to some. Family members and random acquaintances used to warn me…as much as you go to church, watch out for those church men.

Huh?

Why?

I have never dated one and the guys I have dated or “dated” have never been church guys. And granted, they were nothing to write home about, many hurt me and with many I found out we had nothing in common and nothing worth building a future on, after all the pixie dust and starry eyes had worn off and grown dim.

So what could be worse, church guys? I think not!

Anyway, so I met a church guy. Boy, was I excited! Finally I get to meet someone who speaks my language!

NOT! Read the rest of this entry →

So girls, let’s have a heart to heart.

Why do we hate each other, spite each other and bring each other down?

Why do we use bad words on each other…the B word, the WH word, the S word?

We are all the same, we go through the same stuff, we have the same emotional make-up, we look pretty much the same inside…so shouldn’t we stick together?

Girl 1: “That B stole my boyfriend!”

Girl 2: “How could she? She just looks like something the cat dragged in anyway.”

Girl 1: “I gave her a piece of my mind though. I told her he will always be my man and I am going to get him back!”

Girl 2: “You go girl, let her know what she is messing with. That guy deserves better and that’s you.”

Hello?? Anything wrong with that conversation?? The MAN cheated on you. It’s more his fault than hers! Read the rest of this entry →

Adultery.

We judge and sneer at those who indulge in it, but we haven’t been there…at least those of us who aren’t married. I watched (well, not the whole of it but nearly half of) a movie called Derailed starring Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen and I saw the reality of cheating. It’s so easy to look elsewhere when home is no longer a peaceful place to be and your spouse no longer the angel you married. People have problems….sick children who drain every ounce of energy from their parents making it nearly impossible for them to have any alone time together causing their marriage to suffer. Or when one spouse is always away working. Or for whatever reason because marriage is hard work.

So you meet someone, a chance meeting even. You click, he/she gets you. She/he likes the annoying music your spouse doesn’t like. He/she gets your sense of humour that your spouse has never appreciated. He/she is a breath of fresh air; a haven amidst all the drama in your life and family.

So, as a human being, what do  you do?

You pursue happiness. You want more than you can have. Read the rest of this entry →

Lesson On Employment and Unemployment
So, having been in the School of Life for the past 6 months (i.e. out of school and out in the Big Bad World),  I have realised one thing…employment sucks, and unemployment sucks equally. Indulge me for a minute: Both have an equal number of pros and cons, even though they may not be very well-balanced.

When you are unemployed, you get to have free time to reflect on your life and where you want to be, your dreams that you had let go of, what you really want from life, etc. You get to relax and unwind and rediscover the beauty of nature and the songs of the birds. You notice when the walls at the back of the living room couches needs a good scrubbing. You hone your skills and talents because you are thinking like an entrepreneur, and you actually discover what you are good at. Read the rest of this entry →

A Lesson On Heartbreak
I’m tired of hearing it:

• You will make a wonderful wife/girlfriend for some lucky guy
• Whoever you end up with will be one lucky guy
• Don’t worry, his loss…you will meet someone better
• You are an amazing woman and you will make some guy very happy

WHEN??????!

Granted, these statements have all come from guys I rejected who later moved on, and from well-meaning friends, but that is not the point. My point is, why is everyone hooking up and I’m not? Am I too choosy, too independent, too needy, too boring, too innocent, too wild,….and the list goes on. Read the rest of this entry →

Recently I witnessed a most interesting sight. I was in the car with my mum and we were headed to town from somewhere quite suburban (read outskirts of Nairobi) where matatu drivers are even less courteous than those in the city centre, if that’s possible. We are used to matatus stopping in the middle of the road to pick or drop passengers, or just for the driver to enjoy the scenic view.

So it came as no surprise that one matatu was smack in the middle of the road as we were driving. The car ahead of us was being driven by a man who apparently could not take such behavior lying down. So he decided to firmly place his hand on the car horn and leave it resting there. This seemed to irk the matatu tout and the driver who of course did not move an inch. The man continued to hoot and finally drove up next to the matatu to hurl insults, I presume.

No sooner had he done this than a war of words (which I couldn’t hear, thankfully) ensued. The matatu driver proceeded to hit the man’s car with his fist several times. At this point I thought the driver of the saloon car would get out and start fighting, but he didn’t. After his car received several fist blows form the matatu driver, the matatu tout, who was on the road, opened the man’s passenger car door to challenge him to a duel or something. I don’t know what the man said but the tout proceeded to close the door and kick….yes, KICK the man’s car on the passenger side, several kicks by the way, some even on the passenger window. My mouth was agape all this time because I couldn’t believe the nerve! Read the rest of this entry →