Column Archive: Ask Lily

Ask Lily: 4 years and he’s yet to show me where he lives

Hi,
I have been dating this guy for four years and he has never shown me where he lives.We see each other during the weekend and most of the time he spends at my place.Whenever i bring up the issue of me knowing where he lives,he goes silent and tells me that he cant comment anything about that.This has really frustrated me because i feel like am pushing him too much.I also fear the risk of loosing him.What should i do?

Do i risk the relationship and squeeze the truth out of him or should i wait for him to show me his place at his own will.Could he be cheating or even a married man?

Stella

Ask Lily: He broke up with me coz he wasnt ready for our relationship

Just wondering when your man breaks up with u and says. “i dont think am ready for this relationship”yet there has never been a problem between the two. what does it mean? kwanza it being through a call?

Matilda

Ask Lily: How to put off a nagging rich man

i have been thinking on a way to hurt somebody with words in order to stop bothering me by sending me huge amounts of money in order to accept him as my husband to be.Am very young and still in compass,am an orphan and i was brought up in acrid smell of poverty.am aged 20 years and this man is 40years and he look very old even physically. personally i have met him and told him face to face that i don’t love him and i cant even put up with him.

This old man at the age of my father can not listen to me and he keeps showering me with lots of money and stupid love messages.what do i do with this man because i want to live my life but he can not listen to me because he thinks after am through with my education he will marry me.I know you may be asking how i got to know this man but it was through his fiance whom they had planned to marry but eventually they broke up.the fiance was my pal and she got married to somebody else and we lost contact.we have never had any affair with this man neither spend a even a whole day day together.Please help me on how to put off this man for am sick of him. He is too much nagging.

Ashifila

Ask Lily: Should I let go or wait

am 20 i fell for this guy whom av known since high school we are in the same college and friends. i kept the feeling to myself till recently i told him through a text after a long wait he replied and said he liked me too. he has not made a move yet its been like a month now,we still chat but the problem is i have to do it first he doesnt text or call before i do which makes me think he is not interested. do i stand a chance?

Vera

Ask Lily: Should i tell this guy’s wife I have his child

I had a baby 2 years ago with a man who had a steady girlfriend.When i first informed him that i was pregnant he promised to support us, this never happened. After i gave birth i confronted him, he again promised to help, this he did just for one month by sending such a small amount of money.He keeps promising to support his kid but never does it.He married his steady girlfriend just before i gave birth,the wife doesn’t know that this man has a kid with another woman, i feel like telling her the truth so that she knows she’s living with a very irresponsible man who has continually let his innocent flesh and blood suffer. should i tell this guy’s wife

Am feeling really confused about the whole situation. kindly advice

Pattie

Ask Lily: Virginity

does every woman bleed when the break there virginity? the first time i had sex,i never bled n i was a virgin.i told my boyfriend by the that i was a virgin but later thot i lied to him.hes my husband now but still he doesnt believe that i was a virgin when we met.how do i explain coz i have nt experienced bleeding?

Juliet

Ask Lily: Should I leave him

Ive been in a relationship with a really nice guy for almost 4 years. Though it has been an on/off thing coz of distance issues when it comes to his work and my schooling. I went through his phone sometime back and found texts he has received and sent to some chics declaring his undying love for them. When i confronted him, he apologised and  i forgave him. If i happen to go through his phone again, and get some text from some chic, it will be the 5th time. He tells me he loves me but in my mind, i always think he could be cheating. He has told me of his plans to marry me and for us to start living together. He still lives with his siblings and he is thirty years. He wants us to wait till i graduate from campus so that we can live together. Ill be clearing 2 years from now. Everytime i confront him about issues that affect us, he always asks me if im going to leave him. Should i?

Chrisy

Ask Lily: Lesbianism

I am 23 years old and i have not had the best of family settings. i detest my father as he would always beat up my mum, still does, cheats and all the evils that men do well my father is the ’satan” of them all.i think because of this i have fell into the hands of bad men time over time, they beat me up, cheat on me emotionally blackmail me, all the like and i am thinking its all to do with the male specie. I am seriously contempplating on becoming a lesbian as i am already attracted to women but now the problem is i might never be able to share my love with the girl i am currently seeing, (she is 28 and ready to settle)as i am sort of “a celebrity” in the media industry. what do i do?

Jan

Ask Lily: Old virgin :(

Hello Lily,

I am a 28 year old lady,and still a virgin.Yup,as wierd as that may seem,i am and still going strong!I really don’t seem to be interested in men beyond flirting!(am a serial flirt!),am not/never interested in sex nor having children.I am now getting kinder worried and wondering if am normal.I am in a long distance relationship with a guy who respects me and has never pressured me for sex.We plan to marry soon but am afraid i’ll not/never be interested in sex and ofcourse i’ll lose him pronto!

Question,are there pills for women like me……..(viagra,or something),coz even alcohal,chocolate,cool locations,romance,porn,cool music……….DO NOTHING FOR ME!!!!!Am i dead inside?Do i need pchyciatrict evaluation?PLS HEEEELP!

Dianne.

Ask Lily: Married but still in love with my ex

im a married lady with two boys.this is my 7th yr in marriage but the problem is im still very much in love with my ex.he was the only man i ever dated before my husband.i cant stop thinking about him and sometimes i feel like quitting my marriage and moving in with him.im even tempted to get his child if i cant live with him.its like im obsessed with him.pls advice what to do,i feel like im loosing my mind. thanks.

Abunga

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