Author Archives: lilian

Things we really never see

Things we really never see

Week after week I have sat and watched myself become what my mother feared I would become; a product of my own de-motivation. I exist but I do not live. The morning breeze is nothing but a state of weather and the wind through where I wish my long silky hair might have been is a figment of nature. Nothing powerful. Nothing worth jotting a few musical notes about. I watch my friends go through life. making the best of what they were granted and it hit me. Have I not learned? What have I… Continue reading →

Shutting the pity party down

Shutting the pity party down

“Thinking about the past doesn’t make for restful sleep” – Aiden Mathis (Revenge series) Ghosts of the past haunt us more than they are entitled to. They cause more turmoil than they should owing to our welcoming nature. We play host to these ghosts and refuse adamantly to let them stay where they belong; locked up in a cage called long gone. I lost my book, but my relentless efforts to hold on to data recovery for months has rendered me a hopeless sob. Sad really. I mean I am Lilian Cathy for Chrissake! I… Continue reading →

A man will treat you the way you let him

A man will treat you the way you let him

“I love you. I want to marry you and only you,” I remember the first time I heard these words from him. My heart raced, my feet became weak and I could barely breathe. And therein came flashes of images of fat babies, a picket fence, a horse named Lucy along with my bestseller novels, packed on the top shelf of our home library. As fast as they came, they left, and with them the feeling that would have been love was nothing but pain. Because the man I was in love with, was saying… Continue reading →

When it rains, it pours

When it rains, it pours

These past few weeks have been trying. I have learnt the very hard way the value of a good backup system. I lost all my data –essential chapters of my book included – owing to my stone age devices. I have been kicked out of the house I was living in, owing to my all too trusting nature. Next time, I will be less of a lazy bum and pay the rent myself. As I write this, I am nursing taste buds that have been aroused, albeit unknowingly, but aroused nonetheless by my best friend’s… Continue reading →

Lunch with my “boo”

Lunch with my “boo”

“So tell me about your terrible morning,” He knows how to cut to the chase this man. However I am too engrossed in my greasy piece of chicken to think of the day as anything but blissful and the morning anything far from a distant memory, long gone and forgotten. “Almost did not get to work but I am here. Tell me about your skinny girlfriend.” She is actually the ex-girlfriend but I have this strong inclination to annoy the hell out of him regardless. This city is starting to eat at the few sensitive… Continue reading →

Getting hit on in matatus

Getting hit on in matatus

I am typing away at the computer. This is my favourite part of the job. Not the data entry, that makes me feel like the Epson machine next to me. I laugh at that very techie joke in my standards and think about Wendy back in high school, the girl’s idea of studying was making a replica of her notes in a different exercise book. Oh well, we can’t all be interesting. I draft, edit and save all documents and would you look at the time…4.00 pm. This is starting to get old, I think… Continue reading →

Broke girl’s paradise

Broke girl’s paradise

I am squeezing coins real tight in my palm lest they fall and scatter and disappear into the night bush like my life depends on it. You see, I am headed to town and specifically at this time, half hour late for work, to save money so you can imagine my near hypertension moment when the bus tout says that the fare is ten shillings above what I so desperately cling to. I stand my ground and make the least diva face I can manage. I am born diva. I have held my head high… Continue reading →

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