Author Archives: Faith

Things Google did not teach me about motherhood

Things Google did not teach me about motherhood

I hate to admit it but I am sort of a know-it-all. Actually I am a know-it-all. I do not know the roots of this attitude exactly but I certainly know that it worked out terribly for me as a new mother. Instead of asking veteran mothers questions, I Googled and Googled. I read all the “How to” motherhood books I could lay my hands on and YouTubed “little” things like breastfeeding, changing baby diapers and washing baby. I remember a mummy friend suggesting to me to go for classes on motherhood at one of… Continue reading →

My daughter is raising me

My daughter is raising me

My daughter belongs so beautifully in my life that sometimes I think I imagined her. That I imagined her innocent stare, or her silky skin, or her bubbly baby talk. Or her soft hair. I had never imagined though, that my daughter would raise me. My daughter is raising me to be a morning person. In my hey-days, I was the ultimate 10 hours a night minimum kind of girl. Now, I am the ultimate early riser. Her wails at 4am every morning leave me with no choice but to save my eardrums and pick… Continue reading →

Remember, mum?

Remember, mum?

Remember when I was four years old and I refused to sing the National anthem in school? In my four-year old mind, I thought that having a teacher as a mother should earn me some privileges- like getting out of singing, which I really hated.  Your version of the story was that I folded my hands on my back and said: “I am not singing, my mother is a teacher.” The teacher, quite alarmed, told you when you came to pick me from school that I had started “growing horns quite early”. But you were… Continue reading →

HOW TO: Answer the Question “When is Your Turn?” at Weddings & Baby Showers

HOW TO: Answer the Question “When is Your Turn?” at Weddings & Baby Showers

You are an eighties baby. You have gone to so many weddings and baby showers that you mutter words like ‘fascinators’ and ‘fuchsia’ in your sleep. It is at one of these weddings that you will meet a  former high school mate  you have not seen since the Just a Band’s Makemende video went viral will often give you one of those “cheek hugs”(Because she has not fully mastered the  pretentious hug which, if  done extremely well ,should be  a mid-air hug, or something). Your high school mate will smile and ask; Where have you… Continue reading →

Her Imaginary Boyfriend [Part 2]

Her Imaginary Boyfriend [Part 2]

Her mother had warned her about men who would cheat on her, and of how much it would hurt. Then, she had thought: But I am not you, mother. Her mother had warned her of the men she would love but would not love her back and she thought: I am not you. Her mother had said nothing of the men who, for a few hours every week, made her feel like a queen and treated her like a leper the rest of the month. She did not prepare her for her own weakness. Her… Continue reading →

Her Imaginary Boyfriend [Part 1]

Her Imaginary Boyfriend [Part 1]

She has, as have millions of women before her, suffered from loneliness, to the point which any sort of attention from a man would suffice, even if it was a once in a month text that said:  ‘You are so lost’. From a man who was probably just horny and drunk and to which she was likely to reply ‘It is you who is lost’ or  a similarly mundane response  in the hope of starting a stimulating, romantically charged conversation. There is, of course, the occasional date that tells her he has ‘Deep feelings for… Continue reading →

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