Author Archives: crystal
I bumped into this tweet by @MikeMunyi a few hours ago, and at first I felt slightly offended. It seemed like a huge generalization, while at the same time, it seemed to point directly at me. But then I took a moment to think about it, and there’s actually a lot of truth in that statement. I’m not sure why it rings so true. Speaking for myself, it’s pretty straightforward. I turn 30 in a few days, so my bio-clock should be roaring as I’m nearer to my sell-by-date. Luckily for me, I had my… Continue reading →
I confirmed something this week. I want the benefits of marriage, but I want them without – you know – getting married. I want to have a consistent bedmate that respects me enough to stay faithful. I want a partner I can talk to and share ideas with, share myself with. I want someone with a special link, an exclusive connection. But I don’t want the in-laws or the drama or the suspicion or the [extra] children. I don’t want to change who I am in the name of ‘compromise.’ And I don’t actually know… Continue reading →
I’m not particularly religious. I was raised in a Christian home and attended the obligatory Sunday School until one day, Mum got clever. She realized that we hated going to church, and that we’d rather stay home and watch Saber Rider. She figured if she just gave us an option, we would choose voluntarily, and it would spare her the drama of dragging us out of bed each Sunday morning. So Mum announced that church is between us and God, and that we should only go if we want to. We boycotted church for about… Continue reading →
Guys are slow. They don’t often fall in love at first sight. Lust, maybe, but not love. The average guy takes six months to really like a girl, while women fall head over heels in six minutes. Well, sometimes. The point is, a girl falls for a guy way faster than a guy falls for a girl. That’s why we have all those breakdowns in communication. Girl meets boy, boy gets girl’s number, boy takes 3 days to use number. Sometimes it’s because he’s watched the playa movies, so he wants to keep her guessing… Continue reading →
I’ve known him for almost two years now, and I still find new stuff about him. We were sitting on my couch the other day, with Princess resting her head on my knees. We were watching cartoons, and suddenly, we all started singing: ♫ Mama had a chicken, Mama had a cow ♫ ♫ Daddy was proud, he didn’t care how! ♫ I stared through the rest of the song. It was anything but a loving gaze. See, I hate this cartoon. And when I say hate, I mean detest. It’s silly, tasteless, and utterly… Continue reading →
Women are their own worst enemies. Every woman knows that. If she’s not poisoning your friends or trying to steal your man, she’s standing there all hot and gorgeous, minding her own business and looking better than you. I was having a random moment yesterday and wondering if anyone is confident enough to not be jealous. I realize that’s bad grammar, but there’s no other way to put it. I mean, think about the Shakira-Beyoncé video. They both looked pretty awesome and danced pretty well. They sounded great too. But when they both got home,… Continue reading →
When I first moved into my flat, I bought some floor cushions, a mattress, a microwave, and a TV for my baby. If it was just me, I’d be content with a fridge and a radio, but she loves her soaps and cartoons, so the screen was necessary. For a month, I felt my house wasn’t homely, and I wanted to fix that, but I didn’t know how. I looked at cosy houses and tried to see what they had that I didn’t, and I decided it was a sofa – and a carpet. But… Continue reading →
You wouldn’t know it by looking, but I’ve struggled with depression all my life. I’ve actually attempted suicide twice. The first time I tried, I was six, or maybe eight. Probably eight. Most people think I’m cheerful, bubbly, completely irrepressible, and possibly bipolar, but I do that more for their benefit. It’s not about pretending or putting on a brave face. It’s about focussing on others. I want them to be happy, so I giggle and laugh and make jokes to keep them smiling, even though inside I’m an massive hole. Sometimes, while I’m playing… Continue reading →
I have this neighbour who has a really hot bike. I wish I was sharp enough to say it has XYZ horsepower, carries ABC cc and has a carburator distributor thingamawhatsit, but all I know is it’s hot, and it’s black. I’m so enamoured with that bike that every time he rolls it by, I give a compliment. To the bike, not the guy. He parks it outside my door, so I’ve seen him move it a dozen times, but I have not once looked at his face. And no, it’s not the helmet. One… Continue reading →
For few weeks now, I’ve seen a banner in my facebook sidebar. It shows a pretty lady in a yellow dress, and the text says something about ministries that help women get married. I didn’t pay much attention to it, since I’m in no hurry to walk down that aisle. But then over the weekend, I heard about this event at KICC. Apparently, a Nigerian Broda was giving a sermon on how to catch a husband in six seconds or less. He preached for four hours, and promised the women up to four proposals by… Continue reading →