Author Archives: bakhita

Loving you is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful

Loving you is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful

Is that true? Do we only love the beautiful? Lord that is such a harsh thing to think about but really I think in some ways I do. *cringe* It feels horrible admitting that attractiveness has a considerable ranking on my totem pole of assessment-of-people-I’d-like-to-date. But does it make it better that in general I don’t care about how people look if we’re going to be pals or if you are just going about your way? Hmmmm Let me start over and perhaps explain things a little better. I have fallen in love with all types of… Continue reading →

A Beautiful Mess

A Beautiful Mess

The hardest thing for an incurable romantic to do is to manage expectations. Man, the number of times my achy-breaky heart has been smashed to smithereens by the eventual outcome of certain situations are too many to count. See, a romantic [such as me] creates fanciful castles in the sky built from the ground up by twisted statements and perceived meanings. Basically, sisi hujidang’anya [we lie to ourselves] convince ourselves that what we think, and how we interpret things is the truth. Then, when things don’t happen as we had expected it totally shocks us!… Continue reading →

I need a ‘girl’

I need a ‘girl’

I don’t believe in the theory about how women date/marry/seek out men who resemble their fathers. In some ways I think it’s a little too incestuous/ Oedipus complex for me! It’s not as if I don’t have a fantastic father to model my future mate(s) on, it’s just not a quality I particularly seek out. Not consciously at least. Granted the subconscious is the subconscious so lots of things tend to occur without our having realized! But now as I critically looked back at all my partners I realize that there was a little of… Continue reading →

Where did my baby go?

Where did my baby go?

I used to be a proud pet owner until a few weeks ago. At first it didn’t really register that I had indeed lost the cat. It happened over a very busy weekend full of never ending wageni and chores. So it wasn’t until two days later, when I finally came up for air that it finally sunk in that my cat was gone. Taking care of a cat in Nairobi is fairly difficult. Aside from the usual feeding and petting, you have to find a place for it to ‘make pee-pee and poo-poo’. You… Continue reading →

Heaven only knows

Heaven only knows

The drama that is my life just got even more complicated now that my cousin has decided to set me up on a date. And she is persistent! She called around to find out if I was single then called me and described the guy before proceeding to tell me not to tell him that I know all this stuff about him. Hmmm, makes me wonder what she told him about me! She sent me his phone number and discreetly added that he would soon be calling me. When he took a few days to… Continue reading →

Sweetest Taboo

Sweetest Taboo

I do not date my friends. I keep them in a box, cage, vacuum…whatever. I’m fairly social and I enjoy the company of the opposite sex very much. But I do not date my friends…Male or female. There’s a reason they have been marked as ‘friendlies’ they’ve been deemed harmless, functional and truly ‘friends for all occasions’. I have my ‘surrogate boyfriend-friend’. He’s in a committed relationship and yet he treats me like his girlfriend. No hanky-panky, just lovey-dovey. He takes me to lunch, movies, buys me chocolates and listens to my woes. He can… Continue reading →

The heart is not so smart

The heart is not so smart

I’m not fond of older men. I find them cunning. Some age well and are great to look at but that is where I draw the line. No touchy-touchy! I think a five-year gap isn’t too bad but anything more than that and you are venturing into dangerous territory. I believe men and women go through various stages/ mental ‘states’; a time to read, a time to smoke weed and a time to breed. Hehe. From childhood to adolescence and finally adulthood, men and women have different motivations and needs that drive their actions. The… Continue reading →

Always & Forever

Always & Forever

Whenever my inspiration to write goes into a slump I like to go into supermarkets or stationery shops and find a notebook that will inspire me to pick up a pen again. Or if I’m broke I’ll convert an old notebook or exercise book into my doodling station and pray that something will ‘grow’ out of that madness. I tend to get into slumps…a lot. So there are lots of little notebooks scattered all over the house housing my secrets. [Memo to self: search and destroy] In any case, over the weekend I came across… Continue reading →

How to smile while your heart is breaking

How to smile while your heart is breaking

Of late, *cough cough* I’ve realized that I don’t let myself be as happy as I could be. I am quite the social narcissist [is that even correct?] I love to keep to my lonesomenessness and while I’m at it my sole concern is to find out what people think of me and the things I have done/said. Boo-hoo right? Well screw you! <– I just wanted to say that So this post is titled how to smile when your heart is breaking…well I lied to you, no such information is available here!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hahaha… Continue reading →

Love is a losing game!

Love is a losing game!

There is nothing like a little quiet time to gain perspective. To sit quietly with one’s thoughts often filters out the noise and the ‘noise’ all around you until like carefully kneaded bread dough in an oven, clear thoughts rise at the appropriate time. Of the traits I love-hate about myself is my ego/pride. Its what makes me go over past work with,well, pride. It is also that which makes me look at my past with a face like this –> ¤_¤ I know I’m not the only one who has made mistakes [oh such… Continue reading →

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