My relationship with my father (part 1)

Our father-daughter relationship is an eternal bond. This will make or break her future escapades. I can still hear his cultured, controlled voice speaking of all things Art, Music, Architecture, Cuisine…and Fashion. That’s how well rounded his knowledge base was. He seemed to know everything there was to know about these artistic expressions. Little girls just have this thing, unspoken, between them and their daddies. He knows her. He understands her. When she is moody or twisting him round her little finger, more often than not, she tends to get her way. Hahaha.

It’s a funny thing…this father-daughter relationship, we have. I am the gentlest thing he has encountered. There are some deeply ingrained habits and nuances I notice about him that will greatly affect my choices in men later in life.

“I need to balance this out”, I share with Mum, introspectively.

There are “requirements” my future suitors will subconsciously be subjected to: comparatively, some will fail appallingly. Qualities that I will seek with fervour and zeal. Subsequently, it may sometimes proves to be a relentless search filled with landmines of heartbreak. Surely no man can be expected to realistically fill such shoes. The resident romantic won’t rest.

On numerous occasions she will miss his wisdom deeply and not even the knowing, comfortable, reassuring hug of her partner will match it.

So, what is it that these beloved males carry in their well-worn understanding that consistently rules her universe?

First, he’s the first Male relationship she encounters…straight from the womb. Present. Security. Strong. Available. Protective. Provider. Right?

As a matter of fact, he’s the one who teaches her how she should be treated; handled; cared for. He loves her mother as His PRIORITY. This, in itself, gives her such a foundational sense of security. He’s hawk-eyed about my male companions after school. Invites whoever dares to cross the threshold of his doorstep into his unflinching gaze. Asks the questions that not many dare ask about me… the apple of his eye. Interestingly, he can feel this same protective way, not matter how many daughters drop from his loins!!!

Third, he will encourage my curiosity, my beguiling nature, draws out my Femininity. Reassuring my hesitant first toddling steps. Calmly comforting me through my mushy “crushes”, he knowingly tells me, “You will live to tell the tale”. Then lets out a belly laugh to my sniffly giggles.

With dexterity, he guides in managing her expectations. That’s a lot to ask of any man. But he remains steadfast…undaunted by this task. As if his forefathers had shared the secrets to reading the female soul.

Additionally, I will learn things about Men that they wish he hadn’t ever unveiled (smile).

At this point, I can just see the eye-rolling by most men. “Here goes the comparison again!!! Are we not man enough without having to measure up to an unreasonable expectation?” Well, the saying, “women marry their fathers” may be here to stay… Despite her best efforts, she uncannily selects the same man from the vast, masculine gene pool.

Although this may be true and if discerning men were wiser, they would seek out her father. Not just his approval for her hand, but his nature/demeanor/decorum/culture. For indeed, it’s not just clothes that ‘maketh the man’.

Suffice it to say, this one relationship will dictate many decisions on my journey to finding the next man whose name I take.

“My fellow men, any wonder then, that I am her Hero?” he quips, as he winks and saunters off into the dusk…

Photo credit: unseenob

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Christine is passionate about working with high achieving women who are not where they want to be. She teaches them how to communicate with Confidence and Clarity towards Personal Fulfillment, Living Passionately and impacting their world. An Events Management Consultant and Motivational Speaker, she is an avid reader and enjoys making friends, travelling, the theatrical arts and cookery. "Entertainia" is her middle name...