Me, me and more me! [Part 2]

From The Mailbox is a column that features articles submitted to The Lily Review. If you would like to have your article featured click here to submit it now.

Co-workers
Oh well, what can I say about these people. They are the people I spend 90% of my time with. They are my new past-time. They are fun to go on safari with, that much I will admit. I know you are wondering how did I talk about safari before talking about work! It was deliberate. I am bored with my job at the moment, it does pay well, but since everything is about me, it has become a chore trying to drag myself out of bed every morning. Boss, that explains the one hour lateness every morning, sorry for that, I will do better. There are good moments and bad moments. I am the youngest followed by my boss, then the rest are way over there. You get  the drift. We are only two ladies, the other is a 50 plus year old woman who listens to Joyce Meyer sermons at her desk at peak volume in the middle of the day, she is the receptionist. They are cool peoples! Is all I am going to say. So that’s that, that is going as it is going!

Friends
whatsappI got an injury and the doctor said no travel for two years; my phone is old, can’t communicate, seriously I do not even know what the fuss is about this whatsapp thing; you saw me where? No that was my sister, we do look really alike you know! I was swallowed by a whale and disappeared. These are just a few of the excuses I give people for not keeping in touch. I know it is wrong, I know I will need them at one time, but for the life of me I cannot keep communication lines open. Seriously, I do not have a whatsapp compliant phone, why? I do not know! If you do not call me, I will not call you. If you do not keep in touch, well this friendship was not meant to be. I take two days to reply to a text, if at all I reply. I usually draft the message in my head, then make as if to respond, then put the phone aside to handle other business and that is how the send button is never hit, now you know! I was going through my photo album the other day and realized I only have photos in there of myself, yet I know I have taken many photos in my lifetime with people. That made me worry!

Men
My defense here is that relationship standards are at an all time low and I am just not willing to stoop down to that level. People want to date without putting in much effort, be it time, money, space. They want to sit in the comfort of their home and wait for you to come to them and give them a ‘good time’. Another misused phrase.

I have a car, I know, but expecting me to come to your place across town every now and then after work is taking it a tad too far. Get your behind in a cab, or a matatu, and get back the same way you came. Show me some effort first then I will be kind enough to reciprocate. Guys want you to be the one to call them, all the time, because they do not think much of you to load airtime into their phone and call you? I am picking the mundane things that really piss me off and make relationships a non-starter. Oh believing you are God’s gift to women! Scurry on little fellow, you knocked on the wrong door. Harsh? I do not think so, arrogance is the number one deal breaker in my list.

Let me not even talk of coffee or lunch dates, those do not exist in this part. Men are preserving all their hard-earned cash for a 100 bob beer for some dinghy joint, why again would they want to spend 500 bob on you at that restaurant? ”If you want a date baby girl, why don’t you show me your cooking skills in your house, then let’s have a ‘good time’, afterwards you can drop me at my place, what do you say, baby girl?” Seriously what happened to …boy meets girl or vice versa, they talk politics and laugh, become fast friends, boy asks if girl is in relationship, girl says no, boy expresses his intention, girl says we will see, boy pursues girl with gusto to impress her with the roadside flowers he plucked from a fence somewhere, girl says yes and they date into happily ever after…Am I asking for too much? Do I again have to explain why this part of my life is not happening right now? Unlike the rest of my relationships, this one will remain on pause for now!

Long live me, long live the relationships that make me want to be a better person everyday!

Author : Monica Ogada
Bio: I live and work in Kisumu. I like to laugh, I gravitate towards all things funny! I have multiple personalities, I conform to whatever the situation calls for at that time! Most people do not know the real me! I would love to travel and experience the world!

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