Shutting the pity party down

“Thinking about the past doesn’t make for restful sleep” – Aiden Mathis (Revenge series)

sad-silhouetteGhosts of the past haunt us more than they are entitled to. They cause more turmoil than they should owing to our welcoming nature. We play host to these ghosts and refuse adamantly to let them stay where they belong; locked up in a cage called long gone.

I lost my book, but my relentless efforts to hold on to data recovery for months has rendered me a hopeless sob. Sad really. I mean I am Lilian Cathy for Chrissake! I write the hell out of application letters and not to mention names but I have helped mend cracked relationships with my oh so mushy poetry so why am I whining over chapters that I can rewrite even better? Clearly Lilian Cathy from the past should come back and give me a thorough bum lashing.

So I went for Brand Ambassador training for one of the many companies I represent in that way, I promise, this is totally related to the matter at hand. Anyway, aside from the talks and food, which I had gone through a cleanse for, given past gastrogasmic effects, there was team building. My team kicked ass at number almost last, great improvement from last year I must say, kudos. After that, there was meditation. After the session I realized I LOVE meditating so much I did it again and here comes the relevant bit, I invoked my spirit from the past! So here she is doing a spoken word piece entitled “No one likes a pity party Lillian.” I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Have you ever felt alone? To worldly fatal analogies prone? Those around you unfairly drawing parable you and others your old saying “Why don’t you? Why will you not? Why not be like?”

And your heart heavy with self doubt, heavy like the waves against your fragile body as you drown in a sea of vanity and stupidity.

Then snap you wake to the thoughts of those who bore and raised you.

Saying, “you are my one and only”

You wake to the wisdom of your very thoughts and snap!

Do not compare me, you say.

I am not like them, I will never be like them as I am myself and that is success in itself

I am an ocean vast and deep. I am a mesh-work of fine art and I wear it well. I am an African woman with a global heart and soul. I am infused energy and a haven of electrified joy and enthusiasm, and nothing less than ecstasy! I wake every day to the thunderous sound that is my every breath, to the endless besting of my heart and to an anticipating soul that has unquenchable thirst, unfillable hunger, and an endless quest.

So I will not sigh my breath away.

I will not whine my breath away.

I will………….

Well you all get the point. I stopped her before she started charging me for motivational speech. I do love her but once she starts to speak, she goes to the archives in her mind for all catchy phrases and whatnot. I mean the woman does not know when to stop! I have to keep her in check in regard to the chit chat. When it comes to pep talk, she is a broken record going on and on, a broken record, but a beautiful song nonetheless.

So there, whenever I feel low, I consult my old self. I know myself well enough to always invoke my true self to chase the intruder away.

Have a beautiful day happy people. No pity parties.

Photo credit: glendali

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Living is a risk, as you stand to lose your life. Chasing dreams is deemed a waste, we chase money instead. But why preserve time you have no control over? So I chase my dreams praying time’s end finds me risk fully happy. Find more on her blog kimarinyokabi.blogspot.com

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