*newsflash* Ladies, men are choosy too

Wow…its been a while! I know, I know…no regular ‘work’ or ‘busyness’ excuses, children running riot underfoot, meetings in and out of town. Naah, your life’s too organized to ever really warrant explaining distance, long silences, unrelenting work schedule…right?

Well, mine’s been hectic. Real hectic! Had to do my fair share of growing up..uh huh! And I found out that this multi-tasking thing, can sometimes take the FUN and excitement out of life. Juggling many balls can have a downside too. And more so for the organized, choleric types like myself. We don’t know how to let things drop! When we see a missing link, were the first to point it out. If no one moves in to salvage the situation, we step right in (albeit with a martyr syndrome)- after all, we take our joy from saving the world. But at the end of it all, energy drained, lifeless, distressed (read ‘stressed out’), unmotivated and frumpy. Bad hair days can become the norm, if you aren’t careful. And let me let you in on a real secret: he still loves (and wants) you to shine, believe in him, look like the darling he met, work it in the bedroom and dish a mean meal. You better believe it! :)

So, am back here. Finally..Slowly, but surely.

I found out that while I dived underwater, and came up for air, there was wildfire about the ‘skin-lightening’ techniques of one Vera, ‘derrieres’ had become the buzz word, MCAs were being impeached, hate speech painted screens ‘red’ on Kenyan social media. Arrrgggh…Too much drama for me..I dived into my favourite topic: REAL Relationships, and how to make them work..and last.

My last chat with 5 girlfriends left me wondering about the Kenyan she-male and her relationships. They had practically given up on the very thing their hearts longed for: committed and requited Love. Yeah, I seem to draw quite a number of these female folk, hoping to settle down soon. Now they were threatening to ‘settle’ in the strangest ways…”am in my 40’s and no sight of anyone I like, my “type” just doesn’t seem to hang out where I do, I just want good stock to father my kid and move on (men have too much drama), the ones I like are all married and want to marry me (am at a loss as to who to choose). I want kids and he doesn’t, so it’s so stressful…and it went on and on.

talking-girlsAs in, really?? Ladies, if this is the sort of convo were engaging in around town, any wonder that the men are also listening in or looking on in similar despair? You want to be called ‘wife’ but you want none of the ‘baggage/responsibility/adulthood issues’ that comes with it. Well, men sometimes have to be handled like little ones, stroke an ego, feed their stomachs, soothe a disrespect pain, help bring home the cheddar (before you’re called a good-for-nothing sloth). All depends on what type of relationship you go for. Think you can hack it? Nope? Refresh your memory from the above paragraph.

So, the ones he takes home are the ones who don’t loudly chew gum, clean nails with their teeth, speak deep ‘sheng‘ from Eastlands, aren’t baring all for others to take a bet on you, or pulling them down every minute self-consciously, saw one recently in a matatu (don’t scratch airtime cards with their nails) whew…isn’t that a long TO-DO list? Yeah, and even better is that every man is unique in his preferences. So in as much as we love to generalise that men are this…men are like that…they hate this…they love that, they each have their own quirkiness about the one they are ‘goo-goo gaa-gaa’ about.

Study the one you’re with and keep graduating :) Yeah, this is #Class101. To keep a good thing going, you gotta keep learning and growing with him. He’s changing too, baby girl. What used to tweak his fancy in his 20’s is going to be long forgotten in his 40’s, and may leave you clueless in his 60’s (if you don’t get with the program).

Too much? Then sit down for a while child. Coz this is going to be one loooong ride :) See you on the other side of #Class.

Photo credit: Valsilvae 

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Christine is passionate about working with high achieving women who are not where they want to be. She teaches them how to communicate with Confidence and Clarity towards Personal Fulfillment, Living Passionately and impacting their world. An Events Consultant at Sauti Events & Audio Consultancy (https://www.sautieventsandaudio.kbo.co.ke), and Motivational Speaker with FINE WOMEN Motivational Forum, she is an avid reader and enjoys making friends, travelling, the theatrical arts and cookery. "Entertainia" is her middle name...

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