The Past

The past is a construct of the mind, it blinds us, it fools us into believing it. The heart wants to live in the present,look there you’ll find your answer. Total Recall

past-anchorEasier said than done. Most of us want to live in the present and look forward to the future but our past keeps holding us back. We hold on to our past so much that we are scared of it happening again. I’m a culprit when it comes to holding on to my past. I recently decided to quit relationships for an indefinite time. Reason being…my past relationships hadn’t yielded any faith in believing that they could work. I’ve let it get in my head that relationships are not worth it. I’ve lost the meaning of why they are important.

I have a friend who also quit a good relationship because she thought her boyfriend had another side of him he was hiding. Her previous boyfriend had constantly cheated, so her thought process in the new relationship was that the guy couldn’t be that good, he couldn’t possibly be a sound guy. She couldn’t take that chance to find out later he was the jerk she always suspected.

The past can be a huge hindrance to your present. If your not able to let it go and completely close that door it can affect any relationships you hope to have. Letting go of the past is not easy, I haven’t learned the trick to let it go yet. Sometimes it seems the more I try to forget it the more it comes back. Many decisions I make have a root from a situation that happened in the past.

The past isn’t bad, it’s important because it carries many lessons we need to review sometimes. It becomes a problem when you can’t move on from it. It becomes a problem when your holding on to grudges over someone, some past pain or a past memory that left you angry or broken. What we shouldn’t do is let it take over our lives. It shouldn’t occupy so much of our mind such that we believe in things that are not real. I should be the first to say that I can’t let what happened to me dictate my decisions about relationships right now. There can’t be all bad guys out there. Some good men still exist, it’s just a matter of finding the right person.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. Hermann Hesse

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Writing saved me. It started with poetry and metamorphed to blog writing about life, relationships and love. I have a passion for those three topics and my aim is to tell someone out there that they are not alone and they can get through anything and find happiness. Check out my blog for more.