Ask Lily: In a long distance relationship but now I feel different

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share your advice or thoughts in the comments.

Hey,

I looooooooovve ”the lily review” I do, although it takes quite a while till the continuation of the last story is out…ut still, I love it.

I am 24 years of age living and studying out of the country, I left home in September 2010. I had been seeing this guy since February of the same year, he insisted that he doesn’t want to let go and despite the fact that we had only been seeing each other for seven months. I decided to give it a try its now three and half years down the line certainly not a smooth road. I managed to visit home in February this year and spent some quality time with the guy, but I had only three weeks stay. I had to go to school (outside the country). The problem is I feel different, I feel like he is not the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. There are plans undergoing to get him  to come stay with me, sometimes it makes me scared..but i still feel like I am too deep  in it i cant get out. Its not that I want to I feel like we want different things in life. You see I am a high achiever, I have high goals like finishing school then doing my masters and maybe even go further God-willing. But he says a bachelor degree will be just fine for him. I have nothing against that its just that I think it may become an issue later ”african men”. I feel like I deserve a man who takes good care of me..who buys me flowers, takes me out on dates and pays for it, one who buys me shoes once in a while. We are both young and still have our studies ahead of us, I am not sure what to do..am I being unrealistic? Do these men who do those nice things really exist because I have always been an independent girl and I take very good care of myself. Are these the effects of the many soap operas that i have watched in the past..or do I just be happy with the one who makes me happy?? I really don’t know …

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