Oh you should have seen her. This girl was distraught. As far as she was concerned, her life had just taken an unlikely turn! How, how could this happen to her?
Her name was Mary, and for the life of me, I cannot remember how I ended up in her confidant list. Mary is (although she isn’t sure anymore) married to an amiable and intelligent bloke named Francis. They have been in this matrimonial state for 8 years now, yes, 8 years! Blessed with two kids, a playful and curious boy named Mark and a shy damsel by the name of Amy. Honestly, they paint the cutest family portrait.
Everything would have still been sweet and rosy had Francis not decided he couldn’t live a double life anymore. What to him was meant to be a manly gesture of being honest with himself and consequently his wife did not auger very well with Mary. She broke a few things, one of which landed on his skull. She kicked him out, and he has since been cohabiting with his formerly secret love, a well-toned character who was previously introduced to Mary knew as Francis’s gym instructor.
I asked Mary if she ever suspected him of being otherwise interested and nothing! Nothing? Nothing! Not even…? Noooo!! Okay okay.
So let’s just clear the air on this issue. You won’t catch him sashaying across the floor or throwing back an imaginary weave ok? My rather extensive research (wink) tells me the following are stronger signs of a man battling with his sexuality.
- Extreme homophobic behavior
If your significant other turns almost militantly angry when confronted by someone who is gay, be very worried. People often lash out at those who embody traits they do not like about themselves. They are in fact empathizing with that person, but it does not come across that way.
- An unusually large pool of Female friends
Ever wondered why every girl in the world wishes she had that one gay guy friend? Something about gay men strongly appeals to the female psychic and your man, out of no doing of his, might find himself surrounded by a horde of females who simply enjoy his company and feel comfortable around him.
- An unusually large pool of Male friends
Every guy has his fair share of Man friends. But you won’t have to be a Neuro surgeon to know when that pool turns into a lake or an ocean!! He is always on guys night out, Excursions with the guys, Road trips with the guys, Gym with the guys, Golf with the guys etc etc. Ladies naively love it when they seem to be the only Girl in their Man’s life, but be warned, this could be a telltale sign of worse things to come.
- Too much time with one Man
I don’t care if they have been friends since childhood. Men simply don’t spend unusually long alone times with other men. We will however have boys who consistently feature in our social circles. All women have that guy who they know they can always call to know the whereabouts of the hubby when need be, that’s not the guy I mean here. If however he is the guy your husband always says, “I’m going to hang out at Bruno’s place”, then Bruno is the guy I’m talking about!!
- Strained Sexual Intimacy
This one is a no-brainer really. Thing is, sexual arousal is a mental process expressed physically. If your man is still in denial about his sexuality, then he might condition his mind to appreciate sex with a female but as time goes by and he can no longer suppress his true likes, you will notice him becoming tougher to arouse and at times in a whole different planet during the deed.
- Insistence on the Back Door
You’ve been married/going out with this guy for say 4 years, and one day he suggests he enters through the rear pass. You refuse, he relents. But as time goes by, he becomes more and more stubborn about it until it becomes a serious issue for the two of you, and before you know it, you can’t even remember how the fights started. Read the signs hun.
Now think about that as I walk away feeling intelligent.
Photo credit: dnabil
You might also like:
Lawrence is the guy next door; A young, aspirational Kenyan gentleman; But most of all, a romantic soul in search of true love.