Potential A

I’ve been meeting Potentials online for about 4 years. Yes it would be great to be more organic about these things but … where do you get the time? Where do you meet these Potentials? I wrote off the bar scene off ages ago. The guy slurring in my face telling me how hot I am just doesn’t speak Potential to me. I’m not that consistent with my church attendance and I’m not up for joining every after work church activity possible just to meet a Potential. Weddings are out … women my age are getting out of marriages so that circuit’s been rather dry.

And so I opted for virtual.

Here’s the thing about online – you have no facial expressions, voice inflections and all that stuff to make it real. Web cams freak me out so I rely on the typed word. And in spite of this I have found that you can make genuine attachments. My cyber friends come from near and far.

I met Potential A on a dating site. He contacted me (thrilling) and through a guided communication system on the site, we began to get to know each other… email by email. I liked what I was reading and at the end of about two months we swapped numbers and started planning a blind date. From his email I got the impression he was accomplished in his field, wanted to be in a serious relationship, accepted that I was a mother and respected the independent and direct woman. Yes I gleaned all this from the emails. I’ve found that I say things online that I wouldn’t necessarily bring up verbally.

So here we are at blind date stage. Would we click? Would he be far removed from his photos (people can be incredibly generous when describing themselves!)? What would he sound like?

Potential A was really good at emailing and very crap with text messages. Replies would come back 2 days later or bounce back as unread. Red Flag. We planned a phone date and he called late. Another Red Flag. Determined to squash my doubts we set the date and I chose where we were going. Potential A “lost” his phone on date day and we ended up communicating via a third party. Third Red Flag.

And the date actually went well. 3 D’s – drinks, dinner and dancing. But I couldn’t get past my red flags.

But we did meet. And the date actually went well. 3 D’s – drinks, dinner and dancing. But I couldn’t get past my red flags. So I put it out there. My gut screamed married guy or in a relationship and Potential A made out like he had the worst luck with phones. Hmmm.

Potential A promised to call the next day and I didn’t hold my breath. Two weeks later an email pops up. A string of sorries and two I love you’s out of the blue. Pleeeeeeeease!!

My red flags saved me.

Now to Potential B.

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Each life is a personal journey no matter how public it may all seem at times! I'm still figuring it out and here I share my journey ...and what I'm discovering along the way.

  • Naomie

    LOL! i totally enjoyed reading this! You should share more about the blind dates very interesting to read!!!!!

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/quill/ Mwesh

    Those gut feelings and red flags are the saviors for disaster.Am glad that they came when they did otherwise you would be in a place so confused and with a guy who well lets just say was not to be potential. Potential B may be OK but you never know until you try.Good luck on the search and keep us updated

  • http://www.miasaysyes.wordpress.com Miamor

    You made me LOL. Yeah, those pesky red flags that we don’t always want to see but save us when we choose to see them. I consider this date a success because it strengthened your bullshit-o-meter’s accuracy :) and plus you learned what I think we all should learn; a person may not be a keeper but you can still have some fun (until they say they love you 10 minutes into it :) Keep writing….it’s quite interesting. Good luck, and I’m totally rooting for you!

  • jay

    my eyes enjoyed the journey thru the potential A story. also liked wh@ Miamor said a person may not be a keeper but but you can still have sum fun

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