Change

I am an avid journal writer and my collection of “works” goes back to when I was 13. Keeping in mind that I will be 39 this year you can imagine how much incriminating material that is. And while so much has changed, so much has not.

  • I am still short.
  • I still hate injustice and corruption.
  • I still have insane crushes and I am rendered positively mute when I meet an attractive man
  • I am still loud and this is in fact seems to have got worse!
  • I still love more than I hate
  • My dream abs are still cleverly concealed under a layer of fat that exercise and even illness has failed to shift.

As the New Year kicks off I ask myself what do I want to change? I could say the usual stuff – lose weight, gain muscle mass, exercise more, save more money, spend less, the list is endless. My journals prove to me that I’ve spent an enormous amount of time setting some rather lofty goals, failing at most and beating myself up. I am exhausted by trying to change all the time.

2011 is my year of no change at all. After all this time this is what I know for sure:

  • I am a nice person with a cruel streak that surprises me. My temper is atrocious.
    Its very unlikely I will ever be a regular churchgoer. I am easily distracted on Sunday mornings and quite simply want to rest … at home.
  • I am neither an early bird nor a morning person. When I get up just leave me alone and give me a chance to accept it’s a new day. I promise you I will get into it!
  • I am an incredibly responsible impulse buyer with a monthly budget I am yet to stick to. Faith remains.
  • I have won and lost in every area of life. This is worth celebrating daily.
  • I like to be in charge and will do everything in my power to be just that.
  • I have slightly lousy taste in men but have loved and received love. No regrets, just more adventure.
  • I am exhausted with mobile phones and every piece of technology that has stripped away the boundaries I desire. I will not be this accessible 24/7 so if I don’t answer your call, reply to your email or text message or accept your friend requests on FB…get over it. Life will go on.
  • I cannot waste my precious time on activities and people that deplete me. I accept that I may be toxic to some and welcome their ditching me once and for all
  • I will never enjoy exercise and would much prefer a surgical option.

I’m looking forward to staying exactly the same for a change.

Happy New Year to you all!

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Each life is a personal journey no matter how public it may all seem at times! I'm still figuring it out and here I share my journey ...and what I'm discovering along the way.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/quill/ Mwesh

    Cazz…this is totally fab…..better stick to what you know.Change is hard…..

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