Jane & Steve: Update

Last we talked,  Jane & Steve were having some issues. Here’s some of what has happened since then.

Jane & Steve were actually doing better than usual. They had even made plans to go someplace that very week. It wasn’t a date and it wasn’t anything romantic but it was important to Jane and Steve agreed to take her. Steve didn’t come through for Jane within the agreed-upon time frame. However, one day he called and asked her to come over to his job because he’d found someone to fill in for him briefly while they were gone. His friend never showed up so Steve couldn’t leave. Instead, Jane spent the time hanging out with him and his friends at his job (his job is very laid back. In fact, his friends don’t work there they just come to hang out with him there).

While there, Jane seemed comfortable as did Steve; he usually seemed a bit worried or tense if Jane hang around him at work in front of his friends; an image thing I guess. Somewhere in those late afternoon hours, things got weird for Jane but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what was bugging her. It seems to this observer that it was more of a cumulative effect than anything specific. Here’s what I mean:

1. Jane got to Steve’s job past 4pm that afternoon. By the time she got there she was hungry and apparently, while they were chilling out, she made one of those “I’m starving…I haven’t eaten all day today” comments. Steve’s response? Silence. Nothing. Nada. Keep in mind they have a soda-fridge at his job. He didn’t even offer her a drink, which would’ve cost him 25bob! After a while, she went and got a snack and brought back enough for them both, which he gladly enjoyed.

I was curious (and furious) about this one. I mean, he called her and she spent her time and money to go and see him and he doesn’t even offer her a drink or food? A soda is 25bob. Chips is 50bob for goodness sakes! Isn’t it African culture to offer a guest something to eat or drink anyway?

Gentlemen, when you like a girl shouldn’t this part be obvious or am I missing something? Talk to me people :)

2. At a later point, he ordered a fresh juice and offered her one but Jane declined since she already had a drink. When the juice attendant stopped by later and asked if she was ready for her drink, she answered in the affirmative. Steve’s response? He apparently didn’t seem pleased, even though he had offered to get her the juice at the same time he got his. *sigh* “he’s an idiot”, is my opinion.

3. Later still, Steve got a bit arrogant, for example, he made comments about another woman’s butt and boobs in the presence of Jane! His reasoning? “We’re guys. That’s what we do”. In his defense (and I’m desperately looking for a silver lining here), he apparently preferred Jane’s boobs to the other girl’s. Still, it was weird for her that he would behave like that. Later when she asked him if her top was too revealing (because her boobs are for his eyes only, I presume), he said the top was fine and anyway it was ok if his friends saw a little coz it would make them jealous and wish she was theirs and not his!

Hmmmm….I’m not a guy so I won’t guess why on earth he would say any of this. Maybe my male readers would care to enlighten us girls?

To cut this long sordid tale short(er), that night Jane had a nagging question which she couldn’t answer: “what has he added to your life in the two months you’ve known him?”

A few days later, she broke up with him. Via text message!

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When Mia isn't ranting or raving, she keeps a blog in an attempt to live her life to the fullest. Her exploits can be found on "The Yes Trail" at www.miasaysyes.wordpress.com

  • http://distantspectator.wordpress.com Distantspectator

    Mia,
    As i said before anything was possible between jane and steve and it turns out i was right!

    From what you’ve just described it seems Jane also wasn’t “into” Steve from the get-go and vice versa-sadly it seems both knew right from the start that they just wanted to use the other for boobs/jealousy/company/food etc

    All’s well that ends well but can i make a future prediction? those 2 will end up back together again-correct me if i’m wrong!Birds of a feather always flock together!its hard to resist the lure of having some fun with Mr/Miss right now.

    Personally I wish them all the best in finding Mr/Miss right and discourage them from giving in to the temptation to play games with others

  • Africangel

    Oh… I think I just love Jane, she looked with her eyes (and not her heart), thought with her mind (and again not her heart) and saw right through him. She was an ornament, this was never a relationship at all. Thank God she got out… Need more girls like Jane around and maybe this world will have less heartache. Wish I had been as wise in my youth, it would have saved me a lot of tears and heartache. Sometimes you just have to do put on the brakes and ask yourself the hard questions and get the REAL answers and not the ones we want to hear. Jane was ready, Steve was not and she saw right through him. You go girl !!! Big up to her.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/miamor/ Mia

    Afriangel I had similar sentiments about this break-up. Any longer together and it’d probably have been harder to let go. Steve didn’t strike me as a jerk, at least not in the beginning. It was just hard to know what to think of him because he was sending so many mixed messages. I think Jane really did like him but he wasn’t ‘there’ yet. I’m also starting to think that he may not have been the swell guy Jane thought he was. Time will tell.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/miamor/ Mia

    Distantspectator, I must admit that your response surprised me. I’m not sure if it’s that you missed the previous post OR you gleaned something from this post that left you with your particular impressions. Care to elaborate? For example, how did you get that “…From what you’ve just described it seems Jane also wasn’t “into” Steve from the get-go and vice versa-sadly it seems both knew right from the start that they just wanted to use the other for boobs/jealousy/company/food etc…”

    Maybe the rest of us missed something. Please do share.

  • http://distantspectator.wordpress.com Distantspectator

    Hi Mia,
    After reviewing my last comment I apologise unfortunately came off sounding glib. all I simply meant to say was I initially thought anything was possible between Steve and Jane. I wish them all the best in finding someone right for them

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/miamor/ Mia

    Hi Distantspectator, no worries on my end and certainly no apologies necessary although they’re accepted :) I was just surprised since I hadn’t seen anything to imply that Jane wasn’t into Steve. I tend to see things one way sometimes so I always appreciate a different perspective so I can see what I may have missed the first time around. In this case, since I know the parties involved, it’s also quite possible that I DID in fact miss something.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/quill/ Mwesh

    It was inevitable that Jane would finally up and leave….seriously is it that Steve is just stingy ama he wanted to use Jane as a show off…..but all in all there are people out here who are in r/shps…for the trophy business(trophy boyfriend & girlfriend).And by the way how sure are we that where they met is where Steve really works?I mean if she got in after 4pm then he may have decided to go and crash at a pals office and hence the reason why he could not offer her a soda because it was not his office.Steve was bad news from Day 1.Jane was smart enough to see through him.She was ten steps ahead of him and moving on…..go Jane(pom poms in the air)

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