Women are their own worst enemies. Every woman knows that. If she’s not poisoning your friends or trying to steal your man, she’s standing there all hot and gorgeous, minding her own business and looking better than you.
I was having a random moment yesterday and wondering if anyone is confident enough to not be jealous. I realize that’s bad grammar, but there’s no other way to put it.
I mean, think about the Shakira-Beyoncé video. They both looked pretty awesome and danced pretty well. They sounded great too. But when they both got home, and saw their men staring at the video, did they ask their men, ‘Are you watching her or watching me?’
Do you think these girls are so sure of themselves that they’d let their guy make eyes at other women? After all, he’s just looking, right? And you know he’ll always bring it home to you, right?
I have no issue with my man liking Mila Jovovich or Zoe Saldana, mostly because I beat them on cup side. But I do have an urge to slap Katy Perry since I heard him have words about her. He said it to his boys, of course, and I’m not supposed to know about it, but still, have you seen the Ds on that woman?
When he said he loved Jovovich, I was like, ‘Oh, that’s nice. But isn’t she awfully small for the perfect woman?’ He was smart enough not to answer. Mila Jovovich is on The Fifth Element, where she is touted as, you know, the perfect human … that just happens to be a girl. Men in the show keep bumping into her … unclothed … and their response is always, ‘She really is perfect.’ Meh.
She’s also in the first Resident Evil, where she’s famous for carrying an axe, sexy flashback scenes, and wearing an ugly red dress. The dress is the only reason I didn’t slap him – I wouldn’t be caught dead in that dress. I kept hoping she’d get stuck in a doorway or something. The guns were cool though.
When I heard his of crush on Katy Perry, my first question was, ‘So, if she showed up and offered to … you know … would you?’ Of course, I didn’t ask it out loud. Never ask a question if you can’t handle the answer. For now, I’ll just hope her and Russel Brand stay far away from 3CB-land.
But I still wonder if certified goddesses like Rihanna and Eva Longoria look at their men and wonder just which girl is on their minds.
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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through threeceebee.com.