I am at a place where I don’t know anything.
Coming from someone who has always known what she wanted from life, this is scary, to say the least. Further studies, well, those have been put on hold as I decide what it is I even want to do, if there is anything I even want to do!
My job, well, let’s just say me and Job are not so in love anymore. Somewhere along the way, my love for dear Job faded. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t think fondly of Job. I don’t look forward to seeing and hanging out with Job. In fact, I confess, I’d rather hang out with Bed and TV than Job.
Moreover, I am at a stalemate with my career. It’s gotten to a point where I am even wondering why I studied what I did. It’s like some strange sort of epiphany that I am getting: was this really what I wanted to do with my life? How can I change my mind so fast when ever since I was a teenager I knew what I wanted to do? How can one year change my mind, my perspective, make me question my whole plan for my life?
At this point, nothing is appealing, well, except back-packing to Italy to become a writer and painter who plays guitar on the streets for extra cash. Seriously.
Then there is the guy area. Well, there really isn’t anyone in the horizon. Well, there are some…one I don’t feel anything for, and one I feel loads for but clearly he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s disappointing to lay all your hopes and dreams at the whim of a person then it turns out that you had it all wrong; that those hopes and dreams should not have been pegged on him, or on anyone for that matter.
Maybe this is why I feel so disillusioned. Or maybe not. I don’t even know! (Refer to the first sentence I wrote).
How does one get out of a quarter-life crisis? Is it like the mid-life crisis where a middle-aged woman suddenly wants to wear skinny jeans, go out all night and take impromptu road trips? Or like when a middle-aged man suddenly wants to chat up young girls young enough to be his daughters, pierces his ears and sags his jeans?
What do you do in a quarter-life crisis?
Photo credit: andrewatla