Ask Lily: 4 years and he’s yet to show me where he lives

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share you solutions or thoughts in the comments.

I have been dating this guy for four years and he has never shown me where he lives.We see each other during the weekend and most of the time he spends at my place.Whenever i bring up the issue of me knowing where he lives,he goes silent and tells me that he cant comment anything about that.This has really frustrated me because i feel like am pushing him too much.I also fear the risk of loosing him.What should i do?

Do i risk the relationship and squeeze the truth out of him or should i wait for him to show me his place at his own will.Could he be cheating or even a married man?


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  • Joliea

    4 years! And you’ve never ever ever seen his place?

    Ai ata wewe!! Mschew! Wake up and smell the coffee.

    If he doesn’t show you the place the be tough and demand answers. A relationship is ALL ABOUT TRUST. Madea, love comes second!!

    Trust and communication fuel the love between you. Without it, pole sana dada!

  • wakarima

    Gal, four frigging years and you do not know? that guy is definitely hiding something, ama he lives with his mama?
    do not wait for his own will, he will never show you, make him take you and if he does not, tembea. do not be afraid, having fear and lack of communication is definitely what will make you lose him.

  • itha

    i think u shuld make hm show u where he lives or else walk away i knw its gon hurt bt u’d rather do it nw than wait another 4 4yrs is too damn long 4 hm 2 keeP stringing u along

  • janet

    damn!!!!!!!four years………he is surely hiding something….either he is married ama he lives with his mum….jus risk what yu two have and fight for the truth….thats the only way yu will find ur happiness….

  • Mwesh

    The day he leaves your place,get up and follow him mpaka where is going….keep your distance,that is a long time not to know where someone leaves…….

  • Africangel

    1)the brother is married
    2) he has steady who has te key to his digs but does not live in town and so he never knows when she will be coming over.
    3) he is keeping you as insurance just in case the steady does not work out.

    Whatever the case may be get out of there.. FAST… he is not worth your beautiful self.

  • Kalekye

    I was in something like that for 9 months. All I have to say is…gal!! Wake Up. Dude is married!

  • Lyreb

    waah are you just dumb or you are pretending. I hope to God you are pretending. 4 years is a bit much. Either he shows you where he lives or you step.If he is for real, this won’t rock your relationship. I once dated a guy whose house only had a mattress and bedsheets for curtains(before he gradually upgraded). The point is if he has a house…no matter how pathetic he would want to share his SPACE with his WOMAN if he is serious about you.WOMAN you are being PLAYED. SORRY…..

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