The Nokia Incident

I have a nasty temper. I usually display this temper by throwing things at people; often, very expensive things. This is why I love Nokia. Whenever I smash it on a wall, rock, floor, or annoying-person’s-head, the phone dismantles into six distinct pieces; and once I hunt them down and ‘remantle’ them, the phone works fine.

For this reason, I always buy Nokia. And given my jinx for all things electr[on]ic, I’m strictly basic. No smartphones for me. So my Nokias are usually mulika mwizi – phones whose most advanced feature is a flashlight-torch. I am currently sporting three 1200s a 1680, and a 1202, though recently, I had to cave in and get an LG. I think it has radio.

The reason I have so many handsets is a story for another day – but I walk with three at any one time. So when my Zain handset started acting up, I was more than a little annoyed. For two days, my phone kept going off despite charging. And on the third day, when I finally got it to stay on, it asked me for a security code.

Security code? I never use security codes!

Since my phone had been on a communal office charger for two days, I thought some prankster had played a practical joke and programmed the secret code, especially when the standard 1234 and 0000 didn’t work. Nobody at work fessed up, so I spent two more days punching in random numbers to get my phone open. I tried 6-digit, 8-digit, 9-digit and even 10-digit combinations with no luck. Eventually, I called a pal who suggested I try 5, as in 12345. It worked!

Then the trouble began.

My phone was on alright, but the keypad was noisy, and the clock was off. I always set these features, so I started to think this wasn’t my phone, especially since I had left it on the desk all weekend. It crossed my mind that some genius had forgotten their security code, and had simply switched my uncoded handset for theirs, but that seemed paranoid, even for me. Plus, no one at the office has a 1200. Yet now here I was with wrong settings and a timeless phone.

I went into settings to check the ringtone, just to be sure. It was blank, and everytime I pressed ‘select ringtone’, the phone went off. How weird! I tried to set a calling tone for text messages, but again, when I hit ‘select ringtone’ the phone went off. I was quite amused by then. I tried calling the number from another handset, and it wouldn’t vibrate or ring at all, even though the call was going through. What I had was not a cell phone, it was a simcard-holding-text-store.

Once I was done giggling, I showed the handset to my little brother, he of the engineering degree. He idly wondered why a mulika mwizi would have two extra holes and a possible virus. We both thought the Nokia 1200 is too basic to have a data port or handsfree option. Maybe it’s from China.

He flipped the phone over a few times, pressed a few buttons, then gave it back to me in perfect working order.

“What did you do?!”

“Restore factory settings.”

If I had held that phone 5 years I wouldn’t have thought of that. Thank heavens for little brothers with engineering degrees!

P.S: According to Google, the Nokia 1200 apparently has polyphonic ringtones [hence the data port], 4MB of memory, and an in-built handsfree. Also, it should be blue. Who knew?

P.P.S: If you own a Nokia 1680, look past the pretty camera [great resolution!], turn the phone off, turn it on again, and observe. Specifically, note the Nokia ‘handshake’. Did someone change the Nokia logo or is there some [other] reason why this phone is being redeemed for Bonga Points?

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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through threeceebee.com.