Slow it down

Many men think women are complicated. You know the old tale that a woman really does not know what she means when she says what she means. Here is classic scenario; my friend met this really nice guy at her place of work. The man in question is well educated and seems to be geared to take the world by storm seeing that he works as an aircraft engineer and he is depended upon as much as the captain in any flight he takes. With his educational qualification and job description we have his bank statement covered. He is a gentleman; opens doors, pulls chairs (This man is Kenyan and alive and as straight as an arrow)

Mr. Perfect has one downfall. Need for speed. He wants that in the first time he spends his hefty travel allowance on my darling friend she has to show her gratitude in an adult’s only kind of way which most normal women find repulsing.

I like the idea of a man in the quest to conquer mine heart, but it is the strategy that he uses that will determine his success rate. That sounded like chemistry or physics if you ask me. The thing is as much as women enjoy being pursued, they also enjoy patience in your quest.
When a woman asks that you take it slow, she means get you head out of your shorts and use what’s in your brain too, to get her to like you. Ever wonder why not so good looking men have beautiful (very beautiful) gals hanging onto their arms? Rich or otherwise? They have learnt to make up for what our Mr. Ego has left out: Patience. They have learnt to give a woman space to feel that she is in control of herself despite that she gets all giddy when you walk in and a Halleluiah jingle breaks out in her head and heart.

When the lady you are trying to get says we need to talk and drops the line that you should take it slow; in polite terms she means you need to tame the beast in you  and let the gentleman that ,many men think exist on TV come out.

I have used the “take it slow” line before. Here is a short story. I had just started dating and well I wanted to see what was out there. I met a nice guy, I feel compelled to say his name but his girlfriend may know me. I will call him Speedy. Speedy was really nice. He would call me, find out how school was (I was 20) and after the completion of The Junction, we would hang out there. This was perfect. I had a friend. Someone I could talk to about everything, laugh with, hug and sometimes well…..kiss because this was all I wanted. I was happy. Dating was fun. Then speedy changed. He wanted me to tell him where I was at all times, wanted more than a kiss, wanted to come home meet my sisters, wanted to know what plans me and the girls had and speedy became well….speedy.

When women are forced to use the slow it down and, it is usually as a result of some kind of inexplicable frustration. It’s not that you are boring or that they do not like you. It’s just that you are starting to act weird and not as suave as you were when you first approached them. It’s like if a man has been trying too hard to get a woman’s attention and when he does tables turn and she calls him every hour and texts him all through the day. Its more than what you bargained for, when someone turns from an acquaintance to a psycho you want to avoid at all costs.
Maybe some tips to help you avoid the weird three words.

  • When a girl you have been eyeing finally gives you the time of day (do your happy dance) but never show that you are you excited. As a woman if I know that I got you, I will be the boss. Meaning if you do anything contrary to my expectations-you get the three words.
  • If a girl gives you her number, take like 3 days before you call her. Let her mind wonder. If you call her the same day regardless of how much she likes you, she will not reciprocate you feelings because the ball is in her court. Your silence makes her start re-evaluating herself thinking of what she may have said wrong to put you off or if you found her attractive

I could go on and on about the do’s and don’ts but I have to issue my disclaimer here that all situations are different and call for different reactions. Lady love would like you to share more with us regarding slowing it down…so please share your comments and all your questions will be vividly answered.

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  • Kelleher

    He is a gentleman; opens doors, pulls chairs (This man is Kenyan and alive and as straight as an arrow) = hehe kweli Kenyan men hatuna letu jamani.

    Objective piece.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/quill/ Mwesh

    Very true and thats where the whole problem in relationships start.Mr becomes in a rush to begin and end but the Miss wants to enjoy and savor the moment and drown in all the wooziness of feeling loved.And the Kenyan man to open a door,pull a chair,maybe in Jupiter!!:) immediately he is a restaurant he just picks a menu…oh and don’t forget,he entered the door before you.What happened to lady’s first?

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