Goodness we need to teach the men in this country how to prioritize. I watched a couple a few weeks back coming from a parking lot in the city. Remember that Parking in Nairobi cots a bundle, only the first hour is free in most places. This fact will be important at the end of the story.
It is also very important for me to point out that this couple is under the age of 23. Probably a college guy with mom’s car taking his girlfriend out to lunch on the Thursday right before Easter so he has absolutely no fuel costs.
I was walking behind this couple on the street behind World Business Centre-the blue building on Tom Mboya St next to Bata opposite Latema Rd. So anyway, this only struck me when they got inside the Kenchic that is at the end of that road connecting Tom Mboya Street with Moi Avenue. I am not a stalker first of all I don’t follow random people around town just because… I was just led into a train of thought by the activities of this couple for the five or so minutes I was walking behind them.
I probably need to begin with the fact that, as my best friend likes to put it, I am a high class girl living in the wrong side of town. I would rather be at the Teaspot paying Ksh. 100 for my fries when I can only spend Ksh. 100 on my lunch than go to a Kenchic and have fries and a chicken sausage which will cost me the same Ksh 100. And I happen to have internal reviews of the places I would like to be caught in and the ones I would not like to be heaved in if I fainted right outside and the only reason I am inside the joint is because I am unconscious.
That said I can now continue to the math I had to do in the minutes before I got into a matatu snickering to myself about the matter. I can safely admit that I have walked into a Kenchic in the recent past and I think that the price tag on a proper meal for a date is likely above Ksh. 230 for a portion of fries, soda and a quarter chickens. For two people that would be Ksh. 460 so the guy must at least have 500 to pay for lunch.
Ksh. 500 plus the money that would be incurred on parking and the fact that he wouldn’t be driving without at least Ksh. 200 considering how cops in this town harass people on the road, for a teenage boy to take a girl out for a reasonably nice date he needs a basic Ksh. 1000 or at least Ksh. 800. And with that much the happy couple will have to contend with a Kenchic, the equivalent of a ‘kalocal’ in my very wrong side of town books. But honestly, with the high chairs and counters Kenchic is just a ‘kalocal’ to me.
I am so glad I am me because I would not be caught dead on a date in a Kenchic. That is a serious fact. Kenchic is the place I walk into at wee hours of the night when I am likely to bump into everybody getting their meal for the night after a few hours out on the town on a Friday night. They are too drunk to remember where it is that they saw me. Plus, at that hour it is absolutely acceptable to be caught in a Kenchic because nothing else, except probably the pub we were in, is open. I hate pub food because the fries taste like chicken and the chicken is so hard it is practically impossible to know what it tastes like. At that hour a Kenchic is the best meal in town.
I have however discovered a pub I can eat at. So now I embark on the task of disabusing the young boys and girls from thinking that Kenchic is their only choice. I happen to have had drinks with a bunch of people that I met on a social network. We call our tweet- ups #mauwano. Last time we met up, we went to KPs. That joint on Utalii House at the extreme end of the CBD. I had two of the most sumptuous burgers of my life. They had done their meat just right and nothing changed even when I made the order for second one. And get this, the burger costs Ksh 100. I also had a fantastic plate of fries that I would only compare to a plate I had on my son’s second birthday with my two best friends from high school. Fries set the guy paying a mere Ksh. 80. How is that for a shocker? Next to my several bottles of cold black ice, the great company and the good music from the boom box, I am convinced that guys in Nairobi take us to Kenchic where we can’t even have a descent conversation and are constantly nauseated by the smell of fries and deep fried chicken just because they have their priorities all wrong.
When you take a girl out do you do it for the conversation and the time spent together or do you do it to make a lasting impression? If you knew which question of the two you will answer first then I believe we can salvage you yet. If you do not, it s no matter just be contended with the fact that at a Kenchic all you get is the time spent together because conversations will be next to impossible. At KPs if your poison is alcohol or at the Teaspot on Chai House if you’re a tea or coffee guy (note that one may be more expensive than the other one) you get to one, make an impression, two, get to have a conversation and three, get to enjoy the time spent together.
If you boys know your priorities and know that picking me up is not important at all, then you know that the Ksh 150 spent on parking could have been put to better use at a joint where you would make a lasting impression.
I know that I haven’t exactly put down a list of how you need to prioritize but if you’re smart you can do it all on your own.
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Wacu Mureithi is a part time law student, full-time mother and all-time dreamer. Her work can be found on seriouslypoetic.blogspot.com.