“This is just moving too fast! I mean, don’t get me wrong…I am glad I met you Lawrence…you are amazing…you have all these great qualities that I always wanted to have in my man…we have a lot of fun together…but…can we just take this a little slower?…”
Then she pulls one of those girlish ‘woiiishee’ smiles that she knows drives me crazy.
I’m not sure what to say to her. So I just sit there, feign an its-ok smile, tell her I understand, and keep stroking her stubborn hair strand.
Truth is, I don’t understand a thing!
We had been seeing each other quite regularly for almost 2 months. Lunch/Coffee/Juice Dates, Ice Cream Marathons (we both loved those) and lots of evening walks across the city (its beautiful at night in Nairobi).
In vintage Lawrence style I had pulled a couple of surprises on her that simply blew her friends’ minds off. She also loved them, told me no guy had ever done those to her before. She called me crazy a number of times, and I told her she inspired madness in me because of how I felt about her.
As far as I was concerned, I was simply doing what any man who truly was attracted to a girl that he didn’t encounter on a daily basis would do, in an attempt to get her into the proverbial box.
Daisy was and still is everything I would ever want in a wife-material Girlfriend. Simple, down-to-earth, really funny, beautifully weird and a practicing Roman Catholic (I am too). Her soft chocolate skin, a bewitching smile and a mysteriously shapely figure despite her obsession with anything sugary, were all huge contributing factors to my infatuation with her.
It seemed totally natural for me to tell her how I felt and treat her like the queen I believed she was. Nothing would make me happier than to be her Man, and I made this quite clear to her.
“Have I done anything to pressure you? Coz I really didn’t intend to do that…”
“No no no, you have been incredible Lawrence. It’s just that…oh God…aronnooo…I’m really scared I guess”
Let me get this clear. I have been great. Something about God. She doesn’t know. She guesses that she is scared.
Could it get any clearer than that? Probably not. So I try to maintain my its-ok smile.
“I mean…” Oh she has noticed how lost I am (did I mention she is also quite intelligent?)
“Aaaaa…I really cherish my heart Lawrence…and before I give it to someone…uhm…I have to be really sure…It’s harder in your case because…coz…I have a feeling this will be really big for me…and that scares me”
I am faced with two options here. Either launch into a speech about how I will never break her heart, how she is my one and only, how I want to spend the rest of my life with her blah blah blah. But I am certainly sure she has heard this same tale before.
So I go for option two.
“I’m guessing you’ve had your heart broken before huh?”
“Yea.” Oh boy, there goes the smile again.
“Hmmm. How long had you guys been going out?”
“Around two years.”
Now my mind is racing. Two Years!!? I have never been committed to anything (human or otherwise) for longer than six months. Two Years????!!! What could that bastard possibly have done to mess her heart up like that? Something tells me I shouldn’t ask that question.
“Look Daisy, I have never before, ever, let anyone get this close to my heart. For me relationships have always been a social hobby where I get in, have my fun, and if at one point it doesn’t work out, well, I walk out.”
“I don’t know much about heart breaks, but I have seen my friends going through them and it freaks the s#$& out of me to even think of me in such a situation.”
“But you, I don’t know how or why, but you have made me throw all caution to the wind. If this doesn’t work out, then trust me, you are going to have a very virgin heart to crush”
She gives me this intense look, then breaks into a smile, and blushes like I have never seen her do before.
“Oh God Lawrence!” She whispers, but audibly enough.
“But hey, if you need time, I will do my best to give you that. I also promise to slow down the best way I can.”
“Thanks.” And there goes the smile again. I smile back.
All I am thinking at that point is, ‘One of my girl friends had better know what this god dammed slowing down business is all about’. Or better yet, if you know what “slowing down” means do share in the comments.
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Lawrence is the guy next door; A young, aspirational Kenyan gentleman; But most of all, a romantic soul in search of true love.