So there you were, the two inseparable lovebirds, cooing at each other, stealing glances, barely keeping your hands off each other. You called each other 10 times a day “just because”. The sweet little gifts were exchanged and the sweet nothings whispered in each other’s ears.
Everyone around you was jealous and sick at the same time.
But, though you barely noticed it, it’s gone now. You can’t even remember the last time you missed him/her.
Or you met a kindred spirit. This girl understood you and finished your sentences. You had the same taste in clothing, movies, shoes, food. You knew who to call when you needed a shopping buddy or just to vent. You knew who to call when you both had no dates Friday night coz you could just hang out and have fun together.
So when did she start getting on your nerves? How come you never noticed how annoying she can be sometimes? How come you avoid hanging out with her nowadays and seek out other friends? What happened?
How about the girls from work? You carpool some evenings and sometimes go for drinks together after work. You catch up on office gossip and laugh at Bill from Accounting who hits on every creature in a skirt. You evaluate your monthly earnings and strategize on how you’re going to ask for a raise. You give each other tips on surviving office politics. You have intelligent conversations together. You’ve found other friends who you can relate to at work.
How then, did you start being jealous of each other? Why did you start noticing how Jenny is too close to her boss? When did you start turning on each other as if you’re all competing for the same prize?
There’s a phrase for this condition (coined, partly, by me): The End of the Honeymoon Phase.
The Honeymoon Phase IS where everything looks rosy and beautiful. Everything is alright with the world. You’ve never felt happier, more understood, or fit in better. It’s a great feeling.
But then the beauty starts to wear off. Reality starts to set in.
I guess in that phase you don’t really see things as they are. They’re obscured somewhat, I don’t know by what….denial perhaps? Hope?
I dislike the End of the Honeymoon Phase. I guess I dislike reality because it’s cold and hard. I like the warm fuzziness of the Honeymoon Phase.
How to deal with it?
I have a few theories:
1. Accept it. It was bound to happen anyway. It’s life, and we all know it’s NOT perfect.
2. Embrace it. Yes, so you learnt your partner is not such a good listener after all. He merely stares as his mind wanders and you yap away. You can use that to ask him for all the things you want and then use it against him because he was just nodding senselessly. See? You both win. He didn’t have to hear all your drivel and you get what you wanted. It’s win-win if you ask me.
3. Learn from it. So the girls from work aren’t really going to be your BFFs. That’s OK, you have other friends, right? Guess it’ll just make you appreciate the true friends you have more.
Now, to go follow my own advice.