She sat at the far end of the corner feeling so down and wondering how come Jake had become so distant with her. They had gone out and I mean she had done everything by the book but still it was not working out. Her calculations in her head were so many that she decided it was better to let it go.
However what we don’t realize is that just because a man has refused to commit to us (women in general) is that he is not interested or assume that he is afraid of commitment. Of course understanding the male species is not an expertise or a craft to be learned; somehow we say use your gut feeling and sometimes it may just work. Yeah they give mixed signals but the truth of the matter is that each man has a relationship timeline thus the term we use that so many men are so unavailable, that’s a whole load of crap.
This may look selfish in some way but my assumption is that not all men want a serious relationship until he sorts out his “issues” and tries to re-align his life and know whether he is in for a serious committed relationship or not. I know you are wondering whether as a woman you should wait for him to collect himself together, and some are wondering “is it all about him”, or “do I have to wait around for him to get his act together so that he may have a serious relationship with me?” Absolutely not.
As women we want to have a committed relationship and that’s our nature but I believe that men have their own tempo in the time that they want to have a commitment with a woman. Just because you have gone out for over six months this in a man’s world does not mean that he is ready to have a committed relationship with you. That’s one thing that women do not understand. On most occasions we (women) find ourselves being the instigators of wanting the relationship to go to the next level, pushing for something that we deem fit sometimes for our own selfish reasons but in so doing the man falls into withdrawal symptoms that ends up in “issues” and drama that is constant.
As the man falls in this symptom he finds himself wondering whether this was what he really bargained for and it ends up being a hard task or a hardship opportunity and all he wants to do is bolt and up and leave. This makes us feel so unloved but in the real essence we really are the cause of the problem in the first place.
But to really avoid this if you have spent some time with a man and you are growing closer and closer by the day, then let things be as they are, don’t try to shape your relationship into something that you want it to be, it really ends up in a very ugly, gruesome way that you never wished for. Commitment for a man is not done in mere words or a conversation, it just happens and at the long run it’s a feeling he gets for himself that is rather satisfactory and then it really happens.