Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
I keep getting back to the mercies bestowed upon us by our Lord. I cannot tire of this. Looking at the sorrows and pains suffered by so many of my married sisters causes me to frequently relive this promise.
Mothers beloved the world over, have, do and will cry for their families, due to man’s own doing. Hence our comfort in these words of the Holy Book. Of course they are intended not just for single mothers…I know, I know.
This promise comes so true to me. I can so well testify to the tears, the sorrows, the mourning and pain of the old order of things. So many nights and days, I have wept silently, praying for a better life for myself and my three beloved. Things have, in times now seemingly so far gone, been hopelessly depressing. There was sickness and no money to reach for even the simplest relief, school and no money to go on tomorrow, food was scarce and we were hungry, Christmas was here and there was nothing to celebrate with… the list is unending. For once I dare say it wasn’t always or most often, that a man was the cause of my distress. Women too have caused me distress to a certain degree, and always it was worse than that caused by men. I can authoritatively say that, now that I am older and wiser. In these instances, I reached out to my God and he heard my cry. Always, without fail, God hears our cry and within His own time, he wipes away our every tear and makes good His above promise. We just do not always see it.
Bringing up children singly is frowned upon in our society. More so in some cultures more than in others. I remember once being asked by a friend, why I insisted on telling men I had children. Duh? It turns out that she -and many others to date- believed in buying time, love, affection and financial benefits in the guise of being young and without child- until the man were tied by her charms to the level of proposing. Then, I suppose, she would elect if to own up to the truth or tie him in another lie to prolong the benefits. I chose instead, to do my best to earn a living , to sacrifice my all, to give my children all that they would have had in a two parent home, and more. If they would lack, it would only be as much as any child in a two parent home could. My hard work and sacrifice paid off.
No need going into the details of the harm of these lies. We all have experienced it or seen it affect a loved one. Pure torture. We women can be vile. I am one. I know. I stuck to announcing to any man with good or bad intentions, that I was “buggaged” and may they be in the know. Honesty is a great virtue. Despite my admission, I went ahead to receive proposals over the years that I only turned down; because I deemed them not well fit for the progress of my family’s welfare; at those particular times.
I too have wanted so much to get married. Any right thinking man will carefully consider the implications of marrying a woman with not one, or two but three children. In the end, it is those noble virtues that get us what is right and good for both ourselves and our children and the man-I dare say. Galatians 5:22-23: “By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things.” These seven virtues as put out in the Holy Book encompass all others, Roman, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu etc. Goodness is universal, and a good woman begets or is begotten of by a good man. (Order! – not begetting as in birth). I have undertaken to go by them. That in itself has given me joy, fulfillment, success and hope for a better brighter tomorrow’s have made this the foundation upon which my beloved three will grow up, it is the shield that has, and will protect us in challenging times, and with which we shall be thankful, victorious and joyous, in good times.
I have watched women give in to impulses to lie about their children, and thereafter put these same children in lifelong anguish due to their lies. Nothing kills a child’s morale as much as being neglected by the only parent they know. It is bad enough that many men shun their obligation even when the child knows of them as their biological parent. It is worse for the child when the single mother (apologies to single fathers) whom this child sees as guardian, source of security, caregiver and source of joy- in turn also deliberately and openly rejects the child or mistreats them.
My heart does go out to suffering children. How lost they must feel. I need only think of my baby, who at ten, still gets frightened of thunder. We are in a comfortable house, with security so assured, we always have a warm meal, and a future that is basically assured of all basic comforts. Still, when thunder strikes so hard and loud, I hug him close and sit right next to him for assurance. Allowing him to sleep on my lap, or at my feet, as I go about my writing or television viewing. In these times, I think of the internally displaced, those in the slums, those dear children around us, whose mothers may be so drunk, annoyed or simply uncaring at this time.
Reading the Holy book does a lot to allay my sadness, my sorrows and wipe away my tears. Then, the Holy Word comes to me in its brightness. I too was there one time. Maybe not in so much tribulation, but I have had my low moments. Are they really just mere memories now? How blessed are we? I know my prayers; theirs too, will be heard. One time, the tears of these whom we pity for now, will too be wiped away to be no more. My joy lies in knowing that they will also then get a revelation of how blessed they are. This Holy word is the Light of the world. Let it shine.
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Emerald Sua is a Christian single mother who prides herself as a voluntary organizational guru for lives, systems, situations and homes.