Ask Lily: Old virgin :(

Hello Lily,

I am a 28 year old lady,and still a virgin.Yup,as wierd as that may seem,i am and still going strong!I really don’t seem to be interested in men beyond flirting!(am a serial flirt!),am not/never interested in sex nor having children.I am now getting kinder worried and wondering if am normal.I am in a long distance relationship with a guy who respects me and has never pressured me for sex.We plan to marry soon but am afraid i’ll not/never be interested in sex and ofcourse i’ll lose him pronto!

Question,are there pills for women like me……..(viagra,or something),coz even alcohal,chocolate,cool locations,romance,porn,cool music……….DO NOTHING FOR ME!!!!!Am i dead inside?Do i need pchyciatrict evaluation?PLS HEEEELP!


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  • bailey

    OK, first, I really admire how long you’ve waited. But is it a personal choice or is it just for lack of interest? I guess your answer will determine whether this is a problem or not. If you are waiting because you want to have sex after marriage then nothing is wrong with that. But if you are genuinely not interested and would like to have it but for lack of interest you can’t, then that’s different.
    Again, why do you want to have sex with other guys when you have a fiance?

  • Jamercie

    I thnk you are not normal because if you are flirting with men then at some point u should feel like bein with one of them,

  • Lind

    Youre not abnormal. Just different. Probably asexual. Search for more info. Just another type of sexual orientation.

  • Kui

    i think there is nothing wrong with you, people make choices not to have sex, but why are you flirting with other guys and your engaged to be married?

    thats wrong, plain and simple and its disrespectful to the man in your life. as in for real it is

  • Kash

    i think you are normal the only thing you need is set up your mind into having these guy if you love him.A it wonderful to be the way you are

  • milka

    Whatever works for you. When it’s meant to be it shall surely come to pass

  • Jackline

    u r perfectly normal i think u r jus worried due to the pressure from society

  • Mutangili

    OK…. i think yours is a problem….why are you saying and i quote “coz even alcohol,chocolate,cool locations,romance,porn,cool music……….DO NOTHING FOR ME”
    To me this sounds like you have had the interest and tried all that you av mentioned above but it didn’t click to you to have sex.

  • Mutangili

    I also think a normal human when exposed to a “porn movie” will just click….it’s nature and there is no way you gonna fight that… need a professional intervention…

  • http://................ Tabs

    Kudos!! Well done and keep it up! There is nothing wrong with you whatsoever! Believe me when you meet Mr. Right you will be happy you waited.

  • mary

    im also 23 and stil a virgin.its soo normal,its your personal choice and since ive never tried,i dont need only need sth after having it

  • rossemie

    Kudos girl just seek councelling on how you will handle sexual matters when you get married, ni poa kuchill that way u r free from unwanted pregnancies and STDs,with the right guy u will surely lyk it

  • rikki

    i have a plan;

    1. dump your fiancee. he’s a loser. if he hasnt gotten you interested in sex til now, he wont even after marriage. he probably sucks in bed.

    2. stop watching porn. its meant for perverts, you dont sound like one. alcohol wont help either, at 28 i have a feeling you have drunk your fair share, if it hasnt made you shag all this time, it wont happen tomorrow.

    3. get yourself a boytoy between 17-21. these guys are tireless. look for one in university, he will probably have the sexual appetite of a hedgehog.

    4. assuming you make a living, take this dude for a getaway somewhere out of town. let him do his thing, just relax and have a great weekend. in the process, discover the magic of sex.

    p.s. after 25 guys lose their sexual creativity. if you doubt me, ask a 30 year old man what ‘combat’ is.

    Enough said.

  • Jay

    Rikki Rikki Rikki

  • Africangel

    1. Please ignore Rikki, I guess its just sour grapes talking
    2. Congratulations for keeping yourself. I wish I had. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. The urge for sex for most women only comes after they have had some. Its like eating caviar, you do not miss what you have never tasted!!. I can assure you when the day comes you will have a great time with your hubby.
    3. Please don’t listen to people who say you must have sex or feel like having sex. When the time and the season is right you wil come right out of your shell. Hang in there and you will reap the results of a wonderful and fulfiling sex life with the one man who means the world to you.

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