Ask Lily: After how long should I start dating again

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share you solutions or thoughts in the comments.

Hi Lilly,
I am a 28 year old single mother of a one year old this November but unfortunately me and the father we split up before she was born. Now am thinking of dating again but most people tell me its too soon,please advise, how long should one take.


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  • Mbũrũ


    There is something I was told many a year a go, that if you let people advice you, don’t let them think for you! Just like I have five fingers, and each has a purpose, so are people. There are those who don’t want to see another one succeeding in life, because that might as well put them on the periphery. They want you to run after them asking for this and that help or assistance.
    Tell me, these friends of yours, are they married, single, grooving or just hanging about? How is their relationship so far? I think it is better to learn from their lives rather than from what they tell you.
    Listen to your heart and interrogate it. Is it telling you go on and date? Or just wait? Are you any ready for a relationship, considering that you’ve got a baby to look after? And what made you and your child’s father break? Friends or the normal stuff – ‘he used and dumped me’?

    The most important thing here, is this, listen to your heart and follow it, friends cannot know what you need more than yourself!

  • Nyangwes

    Hey girl,

    its been over a year after you broke up. Infact, in my mind, it is you who decides after how long you are ready to date again. if you are still hung up on the father of your child, you best wait for some time, but if you are over him, then move on. I don’t know why you feel you have to ask others for their opinion. Don’t you know some people are happy surrounded by others who seem more miserable or worse off than them? they could be holding you back not for your own good, but to keep massaging their own egos. don’t put your self down. afterall, am sure baba mtoto has moved on, has he not? all I would put in is, be very careful this time since any relationship you enter affects not only you, but your one year old angel. other than that, go for it!!

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