Ask Lily: Wrong relationships

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share you solutions or thoughts in the comments.

At times I wonder if am problem or its the kind men I associate with? Lately I have been in relationships which are purely sexual.I tend to want more from the relationship n all the man is keen on is getting in the sack with me.Am all frustated n have been holding out on being in any relationship.I nowadays I look at any approach with skeptism since I nolonger find men to be genuine.Am 28 yrs old and keen on settling down and starting a family.Please advice.


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  • bailey

    I am sorry about what you are going through.
    I just think you should not settle for lower than you want.
    If what you want is someone who is ready to settle down, if you meet someone who wants to get it on after what you consider too short a time, move on. I think the best things in life are worth waiting for.
    Good men are out there…don’t give up

  • mburu

    Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and swallow it. Relationships can at times be funny. Just like a ball, which falls on a place different from where you throw it, relationships need to be nurtured, not forced. And so take your time to find the worth man for your life. I understand the society is rot, and the perception that females have over men is affected, but if you took your time and please, don’t lower your dignity by indulging in sex, with the hope of getting loved. A sensible man will not come back to you, if that is the encounter they get from you.

  • Sly


    Do not be tooooo available

    Keep ur dignity (…Do not think indulging in sex =Love)

    Do not be in a hurry ;good things are worth waiting for

  • jane

    i love this its challenging dont indulge in sex wait for your man will come at the right time

  • Lawrence

    Correction Bailey. All men are Good, just like all women are Good. You just need to find a way to bring the good out of them. Its not easy, and you will probably fail a lot before you hit the jackpot.
    Mary, next time you meet a guy and he wants to get it on too soon, say No. How he responds to this No will clearly tell you what he is looking for in this relationship. May be you are the one who sends the wrong signals.

  • joy

    i find myself to be in the same predicament as you. because sometimes it seems the ones you like are the ones who want to lick the spoon too soon. but i’ve learnt to stick to my principles and know that i deserve more from any don’t settle for less if its yours it will always come back!

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