Do not disturb

no entry signWe can learn a lot of life lessons from the garden of Eden – some good, some bad. For example – the best way to get someone to do something is to tell them not to. If you look at anything long enough, it will start to look attractive. A good way to avoid temptation is to stay away from it – hence we pray “Lead me not into temptation” as opposed to “help me overcome temptation.” If you’re told not to go somewhere, it’s probably a bad idea to stand staring at the “do not enter” sign.

Some people say the best way to overcome temptation is to give in to it. True, that will make the temptation stop. But then again, that’s why so many people are dying of AIDS.

I can’t talk about Eden, or why Eve ate that fruit, or why Adam listened to his wife, or whether or not all females should be victimized for that, or why God put the tree there in the first place [or even if it really was a tree!]. Those are questions I’ll save for heaven. My point here is the lessons learnt.

Marriage is hard, relationships are hard. But one thing makes them harder – outsiders. Lots of good relationships have been ruined by well-meaning interference.

By the time a couple get together, they have faced tons of hurdles. Breaking the language barrier between Mars and Venus; overcoming myths from friends are relatives; learning to accept differences; getting over the ‘happily ever after’ theories. But they’re not out of the woods yet. Couples have to learn how to maintain their union, how to keep it tennis, and I’m not talking gymnastics this time.

Most creation myths start with a couple – two people. No other humans in the world. No friends, no in-laws, no siblings, no shengas. There’s probably a good reason for that. Usually, the problem doesn’t start until other people come into it.

Couples are made up of TWO PEOPLE. So no matter how helpful your best friends, or mother or girls club, or boys group, or nosy aunts are – it should only be about the two of you. Couples would save themselves a lot of grief if they learnt to live by this. We’d all love to help out couples with our ‘experience’, but the best wedding gift is a big sign that reads “do not disturb”.

Take advice, listen to others, but when it comes to actual living as a couple, whether dating or beyond, keep it tennis.

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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through

  • Wacu

    i love makes alot of the back of my mind i have almost always ignored every piece of advice i have ever been given while am in a relationship. i only remember those things when its already over and am getting rid of the blinders i had in my eyes.

  • lil

    i nice read…more couples should visit this site

  • Crystal

    Thank you :-) Hope it helped.

  • Crystal

    True. Hindsight walks a microscope I think, it sees things so clearly!

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