A Lesson On Heartbreak
I’m tired of hearing it:
- You will make a wonderful wife/girlfriend for some lucky guy
- Whoever you end up with will be one lucky guy
- Don’t worry, his loss…you will meet someone better
- You are an amazing woman and you will make some guy very happy
Granted, these statements have all come from guys I rejected who later moved on, and from well-meaning friends, but that is not the point. My point is, why is everyone hooking up and I’m not? Am I too choosy, too independent, too needy, too boring, too innocent, too wild,….and the list goes on.
I’d like to console myself that we have all been there: single and longing to mingle. Everyone around you seems to be hooking up.
No more dates with the girlfriends coz they have dates with their boyfriends. Too many pitiful glances thrown your way when you talk about how lovely it is to be single.
I have been single for quite a while now and I believe I have dealt with my ghosts and baggage.
Hurt, broken, but stronger.
So I decide that I’m ready.
Ready to venture into the mysterious world of relationships and dating – The Field.
And I meet a guy, we click, talk, meet several times, go on a date.
He isn’t doing or saying anything particularly relationship-y.
He says he likes me but….nothing.
Then I find out he has a girlfriend. Who he has had for a long time but didn’t have the guts to tell me about. And he tells me when he is a million miles away, actually, after he drops large hints at her existence…all this while he is away. So I of course erase him from my life and, hurt, again, come out stronger.
He apologises and I forgive him. But he is still off limits and I know that. And I begin to wonder what I ever saw in him.
And a good friend tells me that if I forgave him that fast then I didn’t really like him that much in the first place. Hmmmmm…
See, the thing with heartbreak is that it’s like this painful toothache that you can’t get rid of unless you get the tooth removed. The tooth in this case is your heart and we both know that’s not gonna happen. I’ve had my heart broken a number of times before, and they are all the same. The only difference is the duration…how long you wallow and cry and hate men and eat ice cream and chocolate daily and cry some more. (In case of the guys, I have no idea what they do when they are heartbroken)
This one was short. It barely lasted a week. And I believe my friend. I’m thinking I didn’t really like him that much, meaning if we had hooked up I would probably be bored out of my mind by now. I dodged a bullet!
So I decide not to wallow in it and decide not to loathe all guys. I decide I will get back out there, albeit wiser. I’ll risk heartbreak again if all my past rejected lovers’ words hold any truth. That I will make an amazing wife/girlfriend for some lucky guy who will be deliriously happy to be with me is worth the risk, don’t you think?