Ask Lily: Help me end resentment in my marriage

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share you solutions or thoughts in the comments.

I have been married for 5 years now and blessed with 2 children. My husband loves his kids to bits. My question is we have had arguments on and off and these issues had reached a point where  we were giving up on each other. I vowed to do my best to end the arguments which has kinda worked. Unfortunately, i feel like he does some things wrongly and i dont know how to tell him. When i try tell him what i want, he will make sure he does the opposite. e.g. he does not want us to invest together, he makes decisions on all investments and puts them all under his name (he just informs me of his decisions), he works for 12 hrs a day mon to fri and saturdays comes home at the same time, attends most functions alone,  I tend to feel like he does some things because he is forced to do them and not because he is willing from his heart. How do i understand my marriage and improve it?


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  • Emz


    Your case is sad but not new. It seems like your man is moving away emotionally from you. This could be a result of the way you have been treating him previously. If you have been treating your husband like a child by constantly finding fault with him or putting him down, he will tend to despise you hence never want to be around you.

    Create some time whereby you can rediscover what attracted you to him in the first place. All a man needs is respect and love. with these two you can never go wrong.


  • Lamwa

    Your husband will always be your last born child, all the rest of your children will go you’ll be left with him, that’s always important to remember. Treat him how you would to your last born, apart from what Emz mentions, men want to be pampered.
    Secondly, resolved all your issues in the bedroom in intimacy…yes thats what got the two of together so find it by whatever costs as long as you are sincere to him he’ll completely change.
    Get back your man don’t let him for anything if you really love him.


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