Women are like…

lady silhouette poseFor decades men have tried to understand women, and find a fitting way to describe all their strange and crude tendencies to no avail. Eventually, I guess we decided to resort to similes to help in this futile attempt. I picked up the 20 best ‘women are like…’s from the many drunken discussions I have had with my fellow men and decided to share them with you. Enjoy.

1. Women are like silent men. You think they’re listening. Surprise!! They are not!!
2. Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
3. Women are like wealth, if they didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
4. Women are like cars, men really prefer them reasonably attractive; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men.
5. Women are like toddlers, they are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness.
6. Women are like pets, they begin by resisting a man’s advances and end by blocking his retreat.
7. Women are like bosses, who gives a damn if they are late?
8. Women are like old cars, no matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
9. Women are like fantasies, they are better off as an illusion, not a reality.
10. Women are like dogs really, they love a little too insistently.
11. Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don’t want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground, that aren’t so good but easy to pick with no risk of falling and getting hurt.
12. Women are like money, you know you have a lot of them when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
13. Women are like the stock market. They’re irrational and can bankrupt you if you’re not careful.
14. Women are like computers. They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you’ve already got one. And of course, even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
15. Women are like country songs. They’re annoying, they all sound alike, and if you really listen to them you’ll get depressed and drink a lot.
16. Women are like in-laws. You try your hardest to make a good impression. You act in ways you think they will like and you tell them what you think they want to hear. But somehow, even your best efforts backfire.
17. Women are like casinos. They always leave you broke. You always swear you are done with them. But somehow, you always go back to them again.
18. Women are like the safaricom help line. You always call them. They might promise to call you back, but they never do.
19. Women are like a treadmill. They make you sweat but you never get anywhere with them!
20. Women are like a mobile phone. Press the right buttons and they might get the message.

I’m hoping to come up with a list of ‘Men are Like…’ but ill need the ladies help here, your comments are welcome.

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Lawrence is the guy next door; A young, aspirational Kenyan gentleman; But most of all, a romantic soul in search of true love.