Ask Lily: Should i approach him

Ask Lily is a column on The Lily Review where users can post questions or dilemmas they may be going through and other members of the community can respond with possible solutions. Click here to send in your question. Share you solutions or thoughts in the comments.

There is a guy that  i really like, bu t he does not know that coz i never give him any signs,besides he is in a steady relationship. Should i approach him and spill out my guts to him or let it go?



Hey Sharon

While there are [many] exceptions to every rule, the average guy prefers to chase than be chased. If you pursue a guy, 9 times out of 10, he will run away. And that 1 time out of 10, he will not value you as much as a girl he actually had to work hard to get. Most guys feel that a girl who pursues them is desperate, and no guy will treat you well once he deems you desperate. He knows he can get a way with murder, and many times, he’ll take advantage of that. plus he’ll boast to his friends about how you chased him, and it’s not generally discussed as a compliment.

That said, it’s always a bad idea to go after someone else’s man. Even if by some miracle he does leave the other girl for you, he’ll be equally likely to leave you for another girl. Think about it…

Aunt Tabby

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  • Liz

    Perfect advice from Aunt Tabby. Kudos!

  • Liz

    Sharon you could also read this article from this website ‘Lawrence’s List Of Things Never To Say To A Man‘. Its man’s take of things.

  • ebony

    Sharon I’m struggling with the same dilemma but you know what, a man is supposed to “chase”. You’ll know if he’s worth it if he comes after you. Don’t fear being alone.

  • Lawrence

    Approaching a man is a no no no!! That’s why God bestowed women with the art of seduction. No, not the secretary wear skimpy clothing kind of seduction. Its starts from simply befriending him by say joining some club he is in, finding subtle ways to end up in his social group, starting to slowly engage him in interesting but suggestive discussions like relationships etc. Just be careful to always be yourself and never plastic. We have a knack for noticing fakes. Oh, and a little flirting once in a while is also quite helpful, not too strong though. And of course, don’t dress like his grandma when he is around :-) we are visual beings by nature.
    But, if after a considerable period the idiot does not respond accordingly, please move on.

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