Battle of the Sexes [Part 3]

love heartEve didn’t recognize Adam, Adam recognized Eve. Which means in God’s eyes, it’s not about a girl finding Mr Right, [or even about a man finding Miss Right!] it’s about Miss Right being led to Adam. We don’t do the choosing. So send all those Santa lists to the trash bin. You may know what you want and what you like, but it’s not your call. It’s not about what you think you want, it’s about what God knows is right for you.

I once asked how to work magic – to get the guy to ask you out while thinking it was his idea. Well, here’s my answer. In God’s plan, it’s always the man’s idea.

God leads you to your Adam, Adam sees you, keels over, realizes you’re the One… then you can be a girl and get him to ask you out. You haven’t seduced him, conned him or convinced him, since in his soul, he already knows you’re the only one for him.

But on the bright side, the guys don’t choose either, so all their hunting is zero work. When he sees you, he’ll be so knocked out and bowled over that all the Jezebels, Julias and Halle Berry’s will fade from memory as he discovers his missing rib.

I can hear the question. What about the 3:1 ratio? What about “there are no celibate women in the Bible?” I can only say what I believe. Hizo ni shida za kujitafutia – we caused that. Between wars, abortions, alternative lifestyles and plain old sin, we shifted the balance. And the only way to restore that is to go back to the source, to trust God to fix our mess coz we can’t do it on our own, and God is cool like that. He forgives, and He restores, in His own way, in His own time.

And what if I don’t belive in God? Well, I can only pray for you and let Him work in you. Coz without that, well, in your mind, nothing I say makes sense.

aI know, I know, I’m a 21st century girl too. I’m proactive. The whole sitting around thing is overrated. But that God’s way. And the reason there are so many divorces and broken relationships is because we’re doing it our way. Us girls are chasing, and ending up with Seth instead of Adam. And the guys are hunting, catching Rachels and Rebeccas, discovering she’s not Eve, and continuing the hunt.

There is some good news for us strong women. After Adam acknowledged Eve as his soulmate, the ball was in her court. All women know we have immense power over men – and it’s not entirely gymnastic. Eve realized her power – and used it to feed Adam a bad apple. So the power was sanctioned, but it’s still there.

So once your Adam lets you in, you’re free to be a woman. You can ask him out, you can buy him dinner, you can be proactive. Just remember that all this freedom comes after he gives you the red light. If you have to force a man to notice you, chances are he’s the wrong man.

Keep sharp though girls, not all men are poets. The acknowledgment could simply be a smile, a drink spilt as he zoobs at you, a sudden loss of interest in the minis around him…and none of this counts if you’re dressed to oppress!

Conclusion, I’m starting this week the Eden way. No more shock-tactic man-hunting. I’m sitting tight until God takes me on that beautiful walk through that beautiful garden to my Adam. And once I see that smitten smile, the he can hear this 21st century Eve roar.

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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through