Serial Monogamy

Exercise BikeWe all want to get into shape, to have that perfect body, to look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie [though I still prefer Jeniffer Aniston…!] There’s lots of ways to do that – the scalpel, [avoiding] the kitchen, or the good old fashioned gym.

Getting motivated to gym isn’t very easy. Most people gather psyche, hit the gym once for a three hour session, then give up, until somebody offers them a free gym session or test trial – marketing gimmick. Then they do another three hour run and give up.

But once you realize the need for gym, you still have to find the right one for your schedule, location…and pocket. You could be recommended by a friend, but most people just try out different gyms until they find the right one.

This means you spend a day at one gym, a week at another, a month at a third…until you get the perfect fit.

But nobody ever switches gyms in mid-workout. You don’t hit a treadmill for ten minutes, then run next door for the exercise bike, then drive across town to do weights. It’s one gym per session. If you don’t like it, you move on.

But how many gyms are you willing to test out before you settle on one? Most quality gyms demand at least a month’s payment in advance. A few will charge per session, but not many. Every good gym instructor knows that one exercise session – however gruelling – does not get a client into shape, so a good gym will not encourage quickies. Which means you could lose a lot of time and money on gym subscriptions before you find one you like.

Logically, it’s wiser to look before you leap onto the treadmill. Walk around, ask questions, look at the equipment before you actually mount it. Do a test-run before you commit yourself. But then again, most good gyms – most worthwhile gyms – will not let you use their machines before you pay, not even just for a test run. After all, gyming is a business.

We all want to try things out, to gain experience, to test the waters before we swim. And sometimes you have to get into the water to feel the temperature. But keep in mind, temperature can be dangerous. You can put a finger or toe into the water to test it. But that finger or toe can still burn if the water is too hot, or freeze of the water is too cold. And we all know the tiny things hurt the most. Try getting a paper cut!

So don’t lose a finger or toe unecessarily. Use visual cues. Hot water produces steam. Cold water, well, use a thermometer. Look into the water, make sure there are no sharks in it. Some dangers can be invisible, like jellyfish, but better to stay out of that than jump in and get stung.

And if you choose to jump in after a thorough survey, be safe, be faithful, be careful…and keep it tennis.

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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through

  • bailey

    Keep it tennis?? Explanations please!
    PS: I love your use of symbolism

  • Crystal

    just ask … it’s a follow up to a post I did somewhere, not sure where ;-) but for me, tennis = two players and lots of mostly silent spectators, as opposed to football which has eleven players, two goals, many hecklers, one ball…

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