Introducing James [Part 1]

crystal dingsI’m trying to figure something out today. I read an article in a Saturday Mag once. It described how women and men see things in a different light, the way us girls like to analyse every word and gesture and nuance, and how a ‘white elephant’ to a guy is a ‘thing’ to a girl.

How he didn’t try to ‘catch’ for three months coz he really liked her, how she thought he was a gentleman for the first three dates of chilling, then started to wonder if he was gay. How he finally asked for the next level. To him the next level was breakfast, in her kitchen. To her it was marriage. Long nasty story.

I’ve had my fair share of ‘lost in translation’ moments so I want to try and debunk a few myths. No offense to any of my IM buddies – ahem*ahem* – I quote in love, not mockery.

The imaginary conversation is between me (being Crys), two 21st century girls, and a guy we all adore, in a totally platonic, used-to-have-a-crush-on him-back-in-the-day kind of way. I credit KK for the style – I knicked it off his Vals post. NB : James’ italic statements are not meant to be heard by the rest of us.

Crys : So I met this guy today.

Sue : Was he hot?

Crys : Duh!!

Tina : Any good vibes?

Crys : Plenty

James : oh boy

Crys : He reads my blog

Tina : Point. Does he like it?

Crys : He says I write delectably.

James : Groan

Crys : What. You have a problem with my delectable writing?

James : Normal guys don’t say ‘delectable’. If he likes your blog, he’ll say it’s good, or cool. Or simply that you write well. ‘Delectable’ is a word you use in your CV. Or to score.

Crys : Oh yeah? well he said delectable. In context. That means he’s smart.

James : No, that means he reads newspapers and owns a dictionary.

Tina : (sang in the tune of the wedding song) Here comes the jacket…

Crys : (blushing) Maybe…probably…

Sue : You are so easy!

to be continued…

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Crystal Ading' is a professional author, editor, rock lover and mother. Her work is available through