Men and women dating or married, who is to pay for dates?

RelationshipsSome decades ago, this query would have a very easy and straightforward answer. It is the man who ought to pay since he is the acclaimed bread winner. But times have changed a lot. Women now have jobs and sometimes they have better jobs than their husbands. Relatively many women out there are wealthier than their husband or boyfriends. In such circumstances, is it fair for the man to carry on paying for everything exclusively since he is a man?

The question of who should pay for services when a man and a woman are dating is one that cannot be given an easy answer without one making some investigation. According to relationship experts, the matter of who should pay depends on the time and place of the relationship. That is how old and how far you have gone in the relationship that establish who should picking the bills.

The First Two Months
In the beginning, there was man; likewise, in the commencement of the relationship, it is the man who has to pay. There should be no compromise here. The first two months provide the man opportunity to demonstrate that he is solvent, capable and understands the societal conventions of dating and all are ranking qualities ladies will be looking for in a date. In this period, when the whole is just beginning, it is the man who usually initiates dates and wants to take the woman out. Of course he has to pay for what he has initiated.

Three Months Or More
The couples should begin to take seriously any relationship that goes further than three months. It is no longer a fling thing. Defining the relationship usually occurs something around month three, and when it comes to who should pay, it’s around this time that payment obligations begin to transfer. At this junction, if the woman is working and has the money, she should begin to pick some of the bills. Experts in dating recommend that couples should employ a 65 to 35 ratio on who should pay: The woman pays once for every three times the man pays for something. U can propose to use this approach for the remainder of the relationship. Nevertheless, this is only a general rule of thumb, not an precise prescription that you have to follow devotedly. Maintaining an official scorecard isn’t necessary and could be counterproductive because a relationship is, or at least should be flexible. Sometimes a man can get the dinner and he’ll go on spending spree and sometimes she will just be thrifty.

It’s just a matter of maturity and understanding. Doing so will bring a healthy equilibrium and institute a true feeling of shared responsibility in the relationship.

In Marriage
Some women reveal that it makes them feel cheap and desperate when they are dating a man and they have to pay for what they are making use of collectively. If that is an acceptable excuse, there is no reason why you should not begin to pick some of the bills when two of you are finally committed in matrimony. In marriage, the couple must share the responsibilities. The fact that man has a better job than the woman is not an excuse to shy away from assuming some monetary responsibilities in the upkeep of the house. Actually, finance or money is one of the main reasons that marriages break or face severe challenges. The ladies should know that times have changed a lot and it is no longer the convention that the man must shoulder all the financial upkeep of the house. A man will respect you more and show you more love if you contribute financial to the running of the house. To that end, you should insist on doing something to earn some money. The days are gone when a woman sit at home in the name of being a housewife.

You may not have to get a job outside, but if you look around, you will find out find out there are a number of small businesses you can set up while at home that will earn you some money.

The Wealth Ratio
One fact that everyone especially woman must take into consideration is the fact that the concept of modern marriage is that of partnership. And partners must contribute their quotes for the partnership to grow. In the same vein, the more affluent of the partners ought to contribute more financially to the partnership irrespective of whether that partner is the husband or wife.

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David is an expert on relationship advice. He authors the blog datenromance.blogspot.com.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/samuelkamochu/ Sammy Kempes

    I truly support the idea of both parties paying the bill at one time. BTW i learnt that when chics go out for a date, they usually have some money with them in case the dude turns out to be irresponsible. Chics ought to make it unconditional and pay the BILLS irrespective!! I think it leads to a healthy relationship although am yet to try it out.

  • http://lily.co.ke/members/eanronoh/ eanronoh

    sisters get respect, bi*$@#s get what they deserve. Sisters work hard, bi*$@#s work your nerves. Sisters help you progress, bitches slow you down. I love my sisters, i don’t love no bitch!

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