“usually when two people are together
for a long time things seem to change
it’s been said that nothing good lasts forever
but this love gets better every day
we get all excited inside,
every time that we get alone
he’s still got love in his eyes, and I still have love in my soul”
Relationships define a whole new way of living because we all know that they can be tough. To make it worse as time goes by things do not get any easier. It’s not like being a sales person where you get better just because you have been in the job longer. There are times that it’s going to be all rosy and happy and other times the periods of ennui and speed bumps of tedium along the way.
Threats of infidelity can also cause looming threats when one has been with just one person for a very long time. The only thing that may save you is always having a plan to counteract these inevitable moments of lull. Just because you have been together for a long time doesn’t mean you cannot still have fun being in the relationship.
By now we all know that the key ingredient to any lasting and satisfying relationship is to be in love and for sure that is not something I cannot guide you on. However I can guide you on simple things you can do to keep it fresh and hot! now I will give you 10 ways that you can do this and I suggest that you start from number 10 going on till number 1, remember that you can add your own spice here and there to suit your personality, your likes and preferences.
NO.10 – THROW PARTIES
Now one of the most common mistakes that couples do is spending every single minute of their lives together. am not of the opinion that this is bad just that by having people over you will not only be introducing some of your buddies to some new ladies and vice versa, but you will also have the chance to be around your partner without being attached to one another and this is a great way of keeping it fresh. The fact that you are in relationship with one another does not mean you loose your individuality but you complement one another.
NO.9 – VISIT SOMEPLACE NEW
I have a weakness. When I have discovered a new restaurant I usually visit it until I have completely exhausted their menu. If you are like me you may end up spending a lot of time retreading the same ground. By going to a new city, a new hotel or restaurant, you will be opening up a wide range of new conversations from the new experiences you will encounter. Trust me that it is wonderfully revitalizing when you are in a situation where you are on equal footing (you do not know what to expect or how things are done in this new place…..not forgetting the excitement of some get away loving!!
NO.8 – SPEND TIME APART
Being away from one another when in a relationship is the hardest thing to do when you are in love with someone. When in love you want to have this person by your side to a point that if you would win a lottery you would quit work and move away to a quiet beach front house in Diani…..wow!! Dreams!!
It is however important not only to have some space, but to also spend a night every once in a while as well. Being apart not only allows you some freedom but it will also make you miss each other a little bit and is an ideal way to keep your relationship strong. The wise say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. By saying sleep away from your loved one sometimes does not mean sleep with other people it however means take this time to go for a sleep over with your girls, let him go for a boys night out and trust me honey when he comes back he will have so much to tell you and so many ways to show you how much he has missed you.
NO.7 – GIVE GIFTS
The bible says in the book of Luke that the Lord loves a cheerful giver. We all agree that giving a gift to someone shows that you not only love them but that they are on your mind. Many people think that a gift has to be something expensive and flashy while it is usually the thought that counts. This can be anything that your partner likes and enjoys. A gift given in the present is an investment for your future relationship health.
NO.6 – MAKE SURPRISE VISITS
My favorite movie of all time “two can play that game” always gets me into a kinky mood. There is a part of the movie where Vivica goes over to Morris chestnut’s house dressed in a killer outfit pretending that she is returning his stuff after he had lied to her and they broke up. Vivica’s motive is to get him as turned on as she possibly can then make an exit leaving him alone to suffer an enormous turn down.
Caution: do not become a stalker!! However every once in a while pop into his work place and take him out for lunch or just to say hello. Remember the same reasoning behind getting him a gift applies here.
NO.5 – GO ON DATES
Hey Ladies the fact that you have been dating for awhile doesn’t mean that you should shirk your duties to make him engrossed. Remember here a date doesn’t mean going to the local pizza place when there is an offer for buy one get one free. Instead do some planning and make a reservation someplace affordable, but romantic. Go the whole nine yards and dress up for the occasion have some wine and dessert and enjoy luxuriously….you can also get a place with accommodation just incase he wants to say thank you in a special way. You can make it a regular thing maybe monthly or weekly depending on your budget and schedules. It may seem like a lot of work but the fruits of your labour will pay off for years to come.
NO.4 – SET GOALS TOGETHER
It is believed that when a man talks of the future with you in it, he is in it for the long haul. So sitting down and setting goals to be accomplished with you two as a team; this is a great way to reinvigorate your relationship and your ambition. Talk about you dreams and where you want to be in the future. Ask each other for advice on how you can accomplish these goals as a team. We know that two heads are better than one and you will be shocked at how motivating this can be, getting advice from a person who loves and cares about you.
NO.3 – TRY NEW THINGS IN THE BEDROOM
The bedroom is my favorite subject as this is where we separate the girls from the women. Trust me ladies, there is always something you have not tried. This is the plain truth you have been with the same person for only God how knows how long and truth be told things may have gotten well monotonous. We all need that “unpredictable touch” that Jamie Foxx sings about. Giving or putting extra effort in the bedroom adds some staying power to your relationship. Bring in sex toys if you are kinky, uniforms if you are sexy romantic and off course my favorite-role plays. The thing is you are trying and you do not have to do it as perfectly as it is done in the movies or in original sin the main thing is that the two of you have a good time and you are able to keep him thinking about what you are going to do next time.
NO.2 – INTRODUCE A THIRD PARTY
Now this is very sensitive. Ladies before you try out number two, make sure you are ready as there is no turning back. This is so because ultimately, every couple will make that fateful decision to add someone new to the mix. I am not talking about a threesome but you can add that into your number 3 list so get your minds out of the gutter, we’re talking about bringing a child into the world. Truth be told there is nothing that will bond a couple quite like having something to care for together, something that is more important than each other. if you’re not quite ready to take that step (and don’t have a child simply because the relationship is in trouble and needs patching, it is not a fix-all solution), then think about bringing in a dog, a cat or even a goldfish( are these in our country), any being that both of you can care for and love.
NO.1 – DISCOVER THINGS TOGETHER
Last but not least, another well kept secret of keeping things fresh is the easiest thing you can do: add that element of “new” to your life and your relationship. Take a cooking class together, do yoga with each other or take dancing lessons. Hell, just take him to a new museum once in a while if he can stand statues and lives history. The bottom line is that you want to be with each other, but it’s always better to have something in common that you can discuss together. The stuff in the bedroom, that’s the easy part, but finding someone you actually want to talk to afterward, that’s the tough part, and when you finally get that, keep searching for something new to converse about and keep that initial feeling alive for the years ahead.